If you really can't ask the elderly to help with the children, then as an adult, you should make a decision and make a choice between two working adults and two adults with children at home.

It may be difficult, whether financially, mentally or emotionally, but believe in yourself.

My partner and I are in this state in the first year of our children. I go to work and my partner looks after the children.

At first, I felt great pressure. The company is far from home, and it takes three hours to go back and forth. Getting up at 5: 30 in the morning and getting home at 7: 00 or 8: 00 in the evening really made me go out early and come back late.

Objectively speaking, there are many problems in this model.

For example, economic pressure, emotional communication between husband and wife, pressure and emotional catharsis between oneself and the object, and a hidden big problem is that the object complains that the elderly are unwilling to look after the children.

At that time, I thought about these possible problems in advance, and I happened to be reading the book Mao Xuan.

At that time, when I was thinking about how to solve these problems better, I suddenly realized some truth in Mao Xuan's book. When my comrades and I are facing difficulties, it is very important to have a A Zheng intellectual plan and a unified goal, which is also very important for comrades to exchange ideas more.

So as mentioned above, I have done a series of work for my wife:

First of all, clear the current situation:

1, the current objective situation is really difficult, and the economic pressure is really great. One person earns money, three people spend it, and it is doomed that there will not be too much material enjoyment during this time.

2, there is less time in a day, and there is less emotional communication between relatives, and then there is a hidden danger of family conflicts.

3, the elderly do not want to look after children, there are indeed considerable complaints, horizontal comparison of other families, the mainstream situation of the elderly looking after children, there are bound to be complaints and grievances against the elderly.

Then build a solution:

1, the economy is really big, so on the one hand, I will work hard, strive to improve myself, get a promotion and raise my salary (compared with a year and a half ago, I have been successfully promoted once and raised my salary twice), on the other hand, I will expand my second sideline. I choose to write an article. I often write papers and articles for people during my college years, so I have a certain foundation. The third aspect is to unite all forces as much as possible to celebrate the festival.

2, less emotional interaction, so the weekend weekend will choose to go out shopping and play, this time will give a relatively generous budget (this special time, don't think about saving more money, frugality, and making your family happy is the most important thing), on the other hand, as a man, he will take on more emotional venting from the other side, allowing the other side to occasionally complain, spoil, or occasionally buy something or something (after all, it takes a lot of energy to look after the children)

3, for the elderly, objectively speaking, don't expect to eliminate grievances through reasoning. I don't think it can be dispelled simply by reasoning, or by moving from emotion to righteousness. After all, the reluctance of the elderly to see their children is persistent and objective, and horizontal comparison will produce resentment. This is objective. Therefore, in the face of the complaints of the object at that time, I chose the attitude of affirmation and recognition, in other words, I chose the attitude of standing with the object.

Finally establish the program:

1, hard work, promotion and salary increase, sideline, and increase the second income.

2, adjust yourself, improve the threshold of psychological tolerance, accept each other's emotional catharsis.

3, in the face of the problem of the elderly, first unify the position, shelve the dispute, * * * common development, and then talk about it afterwards.

Ideologically:

First of all, you should work hard enough to let your wife really see your progress and realize that you are really working hard for your family. Even those who earn money will work harder and be more tolerant. As a normal woman, she will hardly choose to embarrass you. This is human nature.

Make future plans with your wife occasionally and regularly. Future planning should not be vague things like buying a big house and earning a lot of money in the future. They should be very specific, clear and visible.

For example, my partner and I will set a one-year goal, a three-year goal, a five-year plan and a ten-year achievement.

One-year goal: while ensuring the stability of economic income, expand the second income and maintain the happiness value of family members.

Three-year goal: After the children go to kindergarten, the family income will at least double that of the first year, and they will have a relatively rich balance economically, and the higher-level needs of family members will be met (such as going to restaurants to eat hot pot, going out to play, going to amusement parks, etc.). ).

Five-year plan: the overall family economy is in a very considerable state, that is, it has a certain ability to resist risks, and at the same time, it has perfect financial management, which can easily meet the reasonable needs of family members in all aspects, and the happiness value of family members perfectly enters the state of conscience cycle.

Ten years of achievements: career, sideline, family, etc. In a word, class promotion is successful!

Summary:

This kind of thing involving children, it is best for the elderly to be willing to help. They don't want to help us and don't insist. They must not have any mentality of dependence and hope.

Then, most importantly, as a family, we must never ignore each other. In this difficult situation, the reliability of the other half is far more important than the reliability of your parents (meaning that in this difficult situation where the elderly are unwilling to take care of their children, after all, the reliability of your parents is beyond doubt, and the order is different in different stages). Husband and wife are United, and those difficulties are really nothing.

Finally, you must tell yourself: be calm, be patient and hold yourself steady. This is really important. In the first year, I often feel extremely urgent and anxious. I am extremely eager to get out of trouble as soon as possible and make money as soon as possible. When people are anxious, they will become blind and easy to make mistakes. Remember!