College students' love psychology Part I: Analysis of contemporary college students' love psychology Abstract: At present, the phenomenon of college students' love has become very common, which has become one of the main psychological problems that plague college students and is very unfavorable to their all-round development. On the basis of expounding the characteristics of college students' love, this paper analyzes college students' love motives according to the ubiquitous attribution bias, and puts forward corresponding countermeasures to solve the problems.
Keywords: college students; Love psychology; plan
Nowadays, the phenomenon of college students falling in love is quite common on campus, and college students' falling in love is no longer as secretive as before. It has become the hottest topic for college students to chat, and it is also an indispensable unique landscape on campus. However, with the widespread phenomenon of love, the psychological problem of love has become one of the most puzzling problems for college students. If this problem is not effectively solved, it will have a great impact on their future study, life and even the healthy development of their personality. Therefore, it is of great practical significance to pay attention to college students' love psychology, establish a healthy love view and cultivate their correct love behavior.
First, the characteristics of college students in love
1. The phenomenon of love is universal. Nowadays, the phenomenon of college students' love is very common and open, and it is no longer as secretive as in the past. In this group of college students, there are many people who are in love or have had love experiences and have love motives. It can be said that love has become a big part of college students' campus life, and college campus has become a sacred place for college students to find love.
2. Diversified ways of love. With the progress of the times, college students no longer only rely on the introduction of their parents and friends, but hope to show themselves in love, pursue independently and choose freely. Find your own happiness through the internet, social circles, dating programs and various possible media.
3. Recognize the standard of love. Nowadays, college students are generally pragmatic in choosing friends. In the choice of object, not only factors such as appearance and personality, but also the talent, development potential, economic strength, family background and social status of the object have become the criteria for many college students to choose friends. For example, what is popular at present? Dream bag master of BMW Women's Mansion? For example, the phenomenon of love illustrates this point.
4. Romantic love process. Influenced by contemporary art and its times, college students' love is full of fantasy and romance. For example, the cultural environment such as love movies, romantic novels and sentimental love songs that transcend life and death will exert a subtle influence on the behavior of college students. In addition, the celebration of Valentine's Day, Christmas and other festivals, as well as high-end consumption such as tourism, song and dance halls, cafes and cinemas are also manifestations of romantic behavior.
5. Open love behavior. The love of contemporary college students is no longer as subtle as before. Before the flowers bloom and after the moon, the trees are shaded, and canteens and dormitories, classrooms and libraries are all accompanied by each other, which has become a common landscape on campus. In addition, a considerable number of college students hold a recognition and tolerance attitude towards premarital sex and cohabitation, and the concept of love is becoming more and more open, and the traditional concept of chastity is gradually weakening.
Second, the psychological analysis of college students' love motives
1. curiosity. In high school, everyone is forbidden to fall in love and is taught to work hard for the future. The unknown is always mysterious, and the university campus provides a good platform for exploring this mysterious territory. For those who have no love experience, love is exciting and full of temptation. College students are at the age of exploring the world and themselves, and curiosity will prompt them to find opportunities to fall in love and try to fall in love. Even if you don't love each other, someone will try.
2. herd mentality. In a group, if most people are in love, then the rest will be affected to some extent and feel that they should be like this. Adolescent college students often lack full self-affirmation, and some even feel inferior because they have no lovers. When they see the students around them going in and out in pairs, they will go with the flow and join the loving team.
3. Loneliness. The pressure of study and life in universities is much less than that in high schools, and they have more free time. However, due to the unclear orientation of one's future and improper arrangement of free time, there are not many friends to talk to, and people often feel lonely, bored, lonely and at a loss. As a result, some students get rid of loneliness and gain emotional sustenance by establishing close heterosexual relationships.
4. vanity Some students fall in love in order to win face in front of others and find a friend to follow the fashion. Someone loves you? It seems to be a standard for them to prove their worth. They think that not finding friends of the opposite sex in college will be considered incompetent, so they will try their best to find love opportunities and objects. Even some college students measure their value by the number of times they fall in love and the number of people they pursue.
5. Utilitarianism. Some college students fall in love not because of each other's personality, but because of each other's material conditions and family background. Why not get married instead of studying hard? ; Some even abandon their original lovers to find new ones for personal purposes. This kind of love is utilitarian, isn't it? Love in the brain? Instead of. Love from the heart? .
Third, the psychological problems of contemporary college students in love countermeasures
1. Understand the nature of love
Love is sacred. Love is not only a right, but also an obligation. We must treat love with a highly responsible attitude. Love is not about one person, but about two people. It is an intimate relationship between the opposite sex based on mutual understanding and trust. It should include appreciation, commitment, responsibility and dedication, and should not be attached to other purposes. Material vanity, game love and the motivation to compare with each other are all unattainable. True love can only be obtained by correcting the state of love. If the essence of love is not clear, then all kinds of problems and puzzles will arise in the process of love.
Put love in its proper place.
Love plays an important role in life, and life without love is incomplete. However, love is not the fundamental purpose of life, and it is meaningless to live only for love. It is irresponsible to fall in love for the purpose of boredom. Love should be subordinate to school and career. Only by integrating it into ideals and careers can its value be fully reflected, and such love is full of vitality. Love that hinders career is an eternal tragedy in life, and love that promotes career is the source of happiness in life.
3. Cultivate the skills of love
First of all, we should cultivate our ability to welcome and reject love. Cultivating the ability to meet in love can better enhance their initiative in love relationship and cultivate their ability to dare to express and be good at expressing; Cultivate the ability to refuse love, that is, have the courage to refuse unwanted and unworthy love. If you are indecisive or give in to each other's pursuit and blindly accept it, even if you continue, it will be bad for both sides. Secondly, college students should learn to communicate and understand. Effective communication and understanding can enhance the understanding between lovers, resolve conflicts and consolidate feelings. Finally, improve your cultural accomplishment, because the charm of the opposite sex is not manifested in appearance, but determined by internal cultivation and conduct.
4. Regulate love behavior
College students should form healthy and civilized love behavior in the process of love. First of all, we should be polite, obey the rules and avoid making too vulgar intimate actions in public, otherwise it will damage the purity of love and the image of college students, and at the same time it will also cause a bad psychological stimulation to others. Secondly, we should learn to control our emotions and act rationally. For the sexual impulse caused by love, we should pay attention to restraint and adjustment, shift our attention to sublimation, talk more about study and work with lovers, limit love behavior within social norms so as not to deviate from norms, and make love develop along a healthy road.
5. Transfer blind obedience to love
First of all, we should learn to arrange our time reasonably. The most important task of a university is learning and self-development. Time is extremely important for any young person. We should learn to allocate the time of love, study and work reasonably. Second, we should learn to deal with the relationship between lovers and others, keep our integrity and independence while falling in love, and don't break away from the collective life because love is not the whole of our life. Third, actively participate in various forms of social practice activities. Practical activities can not only make college students go deep into life, understand society, increase social experience, hone themselves and improve their social adaptability, but also make them feel the richness and beauty of life, and transfer the energy of those students who don't need to fall in love to social practical activities to avoid blindly following the crowd in love.
References:
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[2] Sun Li. From where? If you are the one? On college students' love psychology [J]. Economics and Law, 20 1 1 (3): 369.
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The second part of college students' love psychology: A brief analysis of college students' misunderstanding of love psychology and educational methods: The promulgation of the new Regulations on the Management of Students in Colleges and Universities has brought college students into the sunshine. Due to the lack of popularization and effective management and guidance of college students' love knowledge, combined with the immature mind, the lack of rational analysis and thinking on love, and the poor sense of responsibility and responsibility, there are many problems in college students' love, which need correct guidance and help.
First, the psychological misunderstanding of college students in love
1, college students' love motives are not pure.
College students are in an era of rapid development and change in the world, with diverse cultures and values, and their love motives are no longer as simple as before. Some are to find some fun in boring college life and get some spiritual comfort from each other to solve loneliness; Some are looking for long-term meal tickets to help them solve their life and economic difficulties; Some are driven by herd mentality and regard love as the embodiment of their own ability and charm; Some college students regard love as a lesson, and think that college love can gain some love experience and lay some foundation for real love in the future.
2. College students' love psychology is immature.
Many contemporary college students are only children. They have been spoiled and self-centered since childhood. In addition, their social experience is shallow and their thoughts are not mature enough. Some college students are naive and willful. In love, many college students don't know how to recognize others, respect and cherish their feelings, don't know the true meaning of love, and lack responsibility and courage. Some students regard love as a game and are very casual about it. Happy together, unhappy apart. Some students regard each other as their own private property and lack tolerance and understanding in getting along, because they make a fuss about small things and even fight; Some students fall in love just to save face and seek excitement; Others just stay together for a realistic purpose, lack the same interests and topics, and have no long-term plans for the future.
3. College students' love behavior is not careful.
Influenced by western culture and liberalism, and lacking supervision and guidance on college students' love behavior in many colleges and universities, the problem of college students' love behavior has become increasingly prominent, which has seriously affected their physical and mental health. It is common to go in and out in pairs on the university campus. Some students kiss, hug or engage in some intimate behaviors in public places, causing visual pollution in public places. At present, there are more and more premarital sexual problems among college students, and they are on the rise. The residential area around the university has become a hotbed of this kind of behavior. Many college students, under the banner of postgraduate entrance examination and study, rent a house near the school instead of living in a dormitory. College students in love live together, and their lives are degenerated and chaotic, which leads to pregnancy, reproductive diseases and even sexually transmitted diseases.
Second, the main reasons for the psychological misunderstanding of college students' love
1, social factors
With the continuous expansion of China's opening-up situation, the influx of western liberalism, hedonism and money worship has had a strong impact on China's traditional ethics and influenced college students' outlook on life, values and love. In addition, newspapers, media, movies, and the Internet have indiscriminately reported and publicized some bad habits and phenomena in society, confusing college students' views on right and wrong, impacting their traditional views on marriage and love, and making college students unable to distinguish right from wrong in this bizarre world, and even going astray. In addition, the rapid development of commodity economy has added many utilitarian factors to college students' love. College students' love has become realistic and cold, and they value each other's economic conditions and family environment more than romantic love.
2. University factors
Although colleges and universities in China offer courses on ideological and moral cultivation and mental health education for college students, these courses are relatively backward in teaching content, teaching methods and teaching concepts, and most of them are scripted, which do not go deep into students' hearts and the effects of the courses are not satisfactory. In addition, in school life, knowledge and practice are sometimes not integrated, and colleges and universities lack a restraint, supervision and evaluation system for students' honest and moral behavior, which makes students feel that textbook knowledge is completely out of touch with reality and lose interest in moral education courses. With the relaxation of college students' marriage and love system, the supervision of college students' love in many universities is completely relaxed, and the management system is weak. There is almost no cost for students to make mistakes, and there are few courses on college students' love knowledge and love psychology, which further aggravates college students' uncivilized love behavior and encourages the deviation of college students' love view.
3. Self-factors
Most college students nowadays are? After 90? As only children, they are sensitive, fragile and selfish, with immature thoughts, low self-awareness, lack of ability to communicate with others, and weak self-control and ability to resist pressure and setbacks. Faced with the pressure of study, employment and interpersonal communication, many students can't bear it themselves, so they find a lover to share it and relieve their pressure and inner loneliness. Colleges and universities lack supervision and guidance on college students' love behavior, and there are many unhealthy environments around colleges and universities, such as internet cafes, bars, game halls, and even rental houses and hotels, which provide conditions for college students to fall in love, live together and even have unfair sex.
Third, ways to help college students get out of the misunderstanding of love psychology
1. Optimize the campus environment
Campus environment plays a subtle role in college students' physical and mental health. Colleges and universities should strive to build a harmonious, beautiful and quiet campus environment, so that college students can live and study happily in school, and reduce bad emotions such as impetuousness and loneliness. Carry out colorful cultural and sports activities, encourage students to participate in various knowledge competitions and skill competitions, broaden their horizons, improve their abilities, cultivate their sentiments, cultivate collectivism concepts, and promote the establishment of harmonious interpersonal relationships.
2. Cultivate healthy love behavior.
Colleges and universities should constantly strengthen the construction of the two courses, cultivate students' noble sentiments and self-cultivation, offer elective courses of love knowledge and love psychology for college students, let them know the basic knowledge of love and marriage, master certain strategies of communication with the opposite sex, and deeply realize that uncivilized love behavior is vulgar and shameful, and premarital sex is not desirable, which will cause incalculable harm to college students. Schools should also give full play to the role of class teachers, counselors and psychological counseling teachers, build a working system integrating screening, education, help, intervention and follow-up, and effectively find, intervene and solve the psychological and behavioral problems of college students in love as soon as possible.
3. Strict school rules and regulations
Colleges and universities should build a good school spirit and strict school discipline. Strengthen the formation of unity, friendship and healthy civilization among schools, classes and students. It is necessary to scientifically quantify the rules and regulations of students, especially to strengthen the management of rules and regulations of university dormitories, strictly stipulate the schedule of dormitory work and rest, and timely find and deal with students who violate dormitory discipline and stay out at night; Students who are morally corrupt and misbehave in love should be severely criticized, properly educated, and given demerit or expulsion if necessary.
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