I was stunned by the security guard's request, the knife slipped from my hand silently, and my head was hacked to death at the bank gate ... In a trance, I came to the Yamaraja Hall, and my resume was presented on the face of a bull's head. After watching it, the terrifying man waved his hand and said, "As usual, graduate students go to the knife mountain, undergraduates go to the frying pan, and after whipping at level 6, they can't pass the vegetarian meal at level 4 ..." On the way to death, the little boy bet with me, "Let's go, damn you, you are lucky enough. I did such a difficult job just because I failed the fucking exam. I haven't settled in the underworld yet, only a temporary residence permit! ! ! "
2. One day, a rabbit wrote a paper in front of the cave.
A wolf came up to the rabbit and asked, "What are you writing?" A: Paper Wolf asked, what is the theme of your paper? A: On How Rabbits Eat Wolves. The wolf smiled.
Rabbit said that most of my papers were in caves, so I made it clear. The wolf wants to see how the rabbit's paper is written. So the rabbit took the wolf into the cave. After a while, the rabbit walked out of the cave alone. The rabbit continued to write a paper in front of the cave.
A fox came up and asked, "What are you writing?" A: "I'm writing a thesis." "What is the theme of the paper?" A: On how rabbits eat foxes. The sly fox also smiled. And said, "How is that possible?" The rabbit said, "most of my manuscripts are still in the cave. I made it clear." The fox wanted to see how the rabbit's paper was written, so the rabbit led the fox into the cave.
After a while, the rabbit walked out of the cave alone. Finally, in the cave, a lion was among several piles of bones, picking his teeth satisfactorily and reading the abstract of the paper given to him by the rabbit: "The ability of a graduate student is not important, it depends on who your tutor is!" " "
3. Achievements of the Graduate School
Southeast University has a master of philosophy. Because I can't find a job after graduation and don't want to stay at home as a Mi Chong, I have to apply for a job in city zoo. Although I have been studying for a master's degree, I have to bite the bullet and behave well.
One day, all the monkeys in the zoo were taken to the hospital because of collective diarrhea. The director of the zoo told the master, "What does it feel like to have no monkeys in the zoo today?" Here is a monkey's fake leather coat. Why not be wronged? ! If you don't want to, you can only walk. Although the owner feels very unwilling, he still has to pretend to be a monkey to accompany his children for a salary.
While he was concentrating on his work, he suddenly saw a lion coming towards him, and he trembled with fear. When the lion got closer and closer to him, he was almost scared out of his wits. When the lion was beside him, the lion suddenly said to him, [Hey, classmates, don't be afraid, I graduated from the Mathematics Department of Shanghai Jiaotong University. 」
I only heard a voice from the bushes behind. Shujia said, "We are from the Department of Business Administration of North China Institute of Science and Technology. 」
Tree B said, "Ho ho, private schools can only fight plants. The land you are standing on now belongs to Zheng Wen International Trade Company. 」
At this time, a lump of "shit" on the ground also said aloud: "You graduate students are not bad, and graduates like us will only shit. Hey! "
4. The postgraduate entrance examination is approaching. I sent a message to several brothers and sisters who took the postgraduate entrance examination to encourage them: I said, "Don't be nervous, just use the postgraduate entrance examination as a toilet!" " As a result, they didn't appreciate it: a person sent a text message saying: Does your family go to the toilet for three hours at a time? The other one is even more cruel, saying: Do you still hand in your papers after going to the toilet at home? Me. . .