You came here to see if it was the one you were looking for. This is all I found.

A cynical disobedient

Author: Wang Shuo

But there are advertisements on that website. . It's up to you whether to go or not.

Let me paste some for you. Come here. ..

"I'm a writer, my name is Bao Kang-haven't you heard of it?"

"Oh, no, I'm sorry."

In the office of "Three T" company, the manager Guan Yu is receiving the third customer in the morning, a young man with a delicate brain.

"My pen name is educated youth."

"Still can't remember. Tell me, what do you want? You don't want to experience life here? "

"No, no, no, my life experience is thick enough. Well, I wrote something wonderful and weighty. Are not welcome. Anyone who looks at his head is' stunned' and stupid for a long time-I'm not exaggerating. Many people who have seen it think so. They think they can at least win a national prize, but ... "

"Is it empty?"

"Accurately, I didn't attend the awards. I feel hopeless. Look, I'm a self-aware person. Maybe you don't know much about the literary world. Every award is a balanced result. Some good works have gone up, but the same good works just can't go up. "

"I'm afraid that we can't help you. At present, we don't have any business contact with the Writers Association, and we also lack attractive female staff. "

"Oh, I'm not asking you to exercise for me. I don't care whether I win the national prize or not. I'm actually indifferent to fame and fortune. I just hope that my work can be recognized in some way, and any award will do. "

"You mean a' three T' award?" Guan Yu asked tentatively.

Bao Kang smiled nervously: "I'm really sorry, really sorry, am I too explicit?"

"No, no, no, you are just right. Of course, you want a bigger scale? "

"It doesn't matter whether it's big or small, but it should be grand, with rich prizes. Rent the most luxurious theater and invite some democratic party vice-chairmen-I have plenty of money."

"How about a prize of one air conditioner per person?"

"Everyone? I'm doing my own thing ... "

"Red flowers get help from green leaves. Isn't it lonely to stand on the stage? We should have some fun. I want to give awards to you and some famous writers, so that our awards will become like that, and you can also be among the famous writers. How enviable it is to receive awards on the same stage as famous writers. "

"One air conditioner, how much is it? Although I really want to have the opportunity to stand side by side with famous writers for a while, I don't want to lose everything. "

"If you don't approve of luxury, there are frugal ways. Divide the prizes into one or two or three grades, the special prize is air conditioning, and the rest are' fool' cameras of different grades. Then control the number of winners, and we only choose the most famous ones. "

"This is good, this is much more reasonable." BaoKang smile, "I have air conditioning, others' fool'. You make a budget and I'll pay it later. "

"When you come to pay, can you show us your work? Of course, we don't care which award we win. I just have never been so close to a real writer face to face, and I will be moved if I miss literature again. "

"yes." Bao Kang said modestly, "I can even sign your name. My most famous works are The Legend of Empress Dowager Cixi and I want to say I don't want to say it, but I still want to say it in the writer's forest. "

"Too good, this must be very interesting. I'm not going to do anything else. "

"Do you think those famous writers will put on airs and refuse to accept the prize?" Guan Yu sent the young writer to the door, and the young writer suddenly became very worried.

Guan Yu comforted him: "You are not afraid. It is their business to take it or not. You can't get our bristles."

"Thank you, thank you very much." The young writer turned around and warmly shook hands with Guan Yu. "The light is not clear, and your words really make people suddenly enlightened."

"You're welcome. The purpose of our company is to help people like you who are ambitious but can't do anything. "

***

At the intersection of a busy commercial street, Yang Zhongzheng strode to a stranger girl standing under the police post with a big smile on her face.

"I'm sorry I'm late. I am in a hurry or late. Have you been waiting for a long time? "

"Never mind, you don't have to apologize." Liu Meiping looked at Yang Zhong curiously. "I won't wait for you anyway. It doesn't matter if you don't come. "

"You are just waiting for me, but you don't know. No one came today except me. "

"Are you? You know what I'm doing better than I do-don't interrupt me, the police are nearby. "

"Am I mistaken for someone else?" Yang is still grinning, not embarrassed at all. "Didn't you call Liu Meiping? Is the head of the handkerchief counter in the department store, waiting for anorectal doctor Wang Mingshui. Who made a mistake? "

"But there are two boils beside Wang Mingshui's nose."

"Oh, his two boils are still there. He was carried out of the emergency room from home this morning, and a leader was bleeding profusely. So he called our company in a hurry and entrusted our company to send someone to the appointment on his behalf. He can't let you down My name is Yang Zhong, and I'm a salesman of Three T Company. This is my business card. "

"Three T companies?" Mei-took the business card handed by Yang and glanced at it hesitantly. "What's that? It sounds like selling pesticides. "

"'Three T' is the abbreviation for helping people solve problems, relieve boredom and help others."

"There was such a thing, who are you? Shameless idlers? "

"We are decent businessmen, aiming to fill the gap in social services. Don't you think you will be more bored today without me? "

"But I'm not used to it. I'm waiting for my boyfriend, but a affectionate body double came and made me fall in love with this body double ... seems to be true? "

"You don't have to empathize completely. Our professional ethics don't allow me to seduce you in that respect. We made an oath to our customers. Maybe you know better. I just want to take care of you and accompany you for a day in Rainbow Mingshui. "

"Are you as considerate and considerate as he is?"

"Dare not say don't go out of shape-that's wrong-I try to follow human nature. Where are you going to play today? "

Two people walked side by side into the street.

"He promised to buy me a fur coat today."

"Oh, he didn't ask me to do that."

"I said it won't be the same. Mingshui has always been generous. "

***

"Living is boring."

A stout man sat across the table and said gloomily.

"Living is boring." Guan Yu echoed absently.

"What shall we do?"

"What can I do? If you are bored, you have to live. " Guan Yu looked up.

"I don't want to live." The man stared at Guan Yu and said.

"Don't, don't, don't want to live." Guan Yu muttered to himself and advised, "It is better to die than to live."

"Well, you let me live. I'm tired of you finding me something to do. "

"Can you play cards? Shall we play cards? " Guan Yu proposed.

"Boring." The man shook his head.

"How about playing chess?"

"It's boring."

"Go to the park? Rowing? Watching movies? "

"The more you say it, the more boring it is." The man was angry. "You are just these cliches."

"What did you say? I will accompany you with everything. "

"Jump off a building you also accompany-I want you to accompany? You are not a woman. "

"Oh, we don't pimp here. There is a place that specializes in this-marriage agencies. If you have too much free time, you can practice calligraphy, enjoy music or do volunteer work. "

"See your ghost, I spent twenty cents to register for a long time, and you gave me these ideas. Isn't this a fool? "

"I'm not a fairy, and I'm not in charge of visas at the American Embassy. Personal happiness depends on social progress. Hold your horses. "

"Do you think you are alive and strong?" The man asked with dribbling eyes.

Look at that man, you can't tell if he is provocative.

"Very strong."

"I think you are boring. You are so boring that I don't even want to slap you. "

***

"You shameless also come back? Then' squat' with your buddy! "

A young woman scolded Ma Qing shyly in her apartment.

"Don't go home, how boring it is to be with your wife. You can' chop' with your buddy all night, and maybe even' chop' a watery female student, just like when you' chop' me! What bird did you say changed you? People are addicted to alcohol, chess and cigarettes. Everything can be said in the past I've never heard of a chopping addict like you, whose ass will be dull, shine wherever he sits, and spray water when he pulls it up like a toilet, whether he knows it or not. I know this specialty, so I invite you to the Sino-Soviet negotiations. It looks like a starling outside. I won't say a word when I come home to see you. I'm tired of telling you too much. "

"I will change."

"Change a fart! What has changed in your life? What is it like now except that the urinal has changed? " The young woman began to cry. "However, I couldn't be more determined. I can't arrive on time. I met him before I got married. After marriage, I became a little widow. "

As soon as the young woman raised her hand, she swept the cups on the table to the ground, and then a tray of cups fell one by one. Ma Qing also grabbed the ashtray and fell to the ground, then picked up the TV: "But that's all!"

"No charge." The young woman screamed and rushed to hold his hand. "You can't throw this-are you here to vent your anger or to annoy me?"

"You said that your husband was in a hurry to catch something and throw it." Ma Qing said confidently, "You make me like him again."

"But my husband doesn't throw valuables when he is in a hurry. You are playing at will. "

"You didn't explain it clearly."

"This is self-evident."

"Well, put the TV back. What's the next word? "

"That's too bad, it seems that your company sent you without good vocational training. Here is my love ... "

"I love you."

Ma Qing and the young woman looked at each other happily for a while.

"I love you." Ma Qing repeated, seeing that the young woman still didn't respond, she said awkwardly, "Stop it, baby."

The young woman smiled.

Ma Qing blushed and defended himself: "I'll never learn such things again. This is hurtful. "

"Well, I'm not asking you." The young woman smiled and waved. "You are sincere."

"In fact, I am good to you in my heart and don't say it."

"You'd better be unkind to me in your heart and say it."

"Don't you advocate silent dedication now?" Ma Qing looks like a martial arts expert holding his crotch. "You look good when you are angry."

"Well, well, that's it. Don't torture you any more." The young woman burped with laughter and said, "It's really hard for you."

"It doesn't matter to me, as long as you are satisfied."

"Satisfied," the young woman took out her wallet and gave Ma Qing money. "It means nothing to punish my husband. I'll call you next time. "

***

"Alas, life," Yang Xu out of a smoke turn, looking at the ceiling of the cold drink room, gesticulating, "life is the way it is. Just playing football, a large group of people are running around. Maybe they can't score a goal in the whole game, but they still have to play hard, because the audience are cheering and cheering hard. Life is running around and listening to others. "

"I find you very deep." Liu Meiping stared at Yang Zhong with her chin in her hand and even forgot to drink yogurt. "Do you usually think?"

"yes." Yang Zhong said with empty eyes: "I usually love thinking, especially deep."

"Did you go to college?"

"Well, yes."

"No wonder, people who have been to college are full of ideas and ideas."

"Do you love thinking, too?"

"Oh, I like daydreaming, and I like thinking about people. Like my profession, it is a profession of dealing with people. I talk to thousands of people every day. I will observe the characteristics of these thousands of people. For example, fat people generally like to buy handkerchiefs. Fat people have a lot of snot, and thin people buy smaller ones. "

"Is there a relationship between gland secretion and weight?"

"Of course, everything in the world and who is who is not important? You may have something to do with this yogurt bottle. When your ancestors died, burn them to ashes, carry them underground, dig them out with soil, burn them into porcelain or glass, fill them with yogurt and sell them to you. "

"This is dialectics? Relatively simple. "

"I don't know if it is. I only know that everything happens for a reason. Sneezing, someone wrote hundreds of thousands of words and got a doctor. "

"There is one thing, this piece of paper was circulated when we were at school. People don't call it sneezing, it's a vulgar name, they call it' the violent and noisy jet phenomenon caused by the stimulation of nasal mucosa'. . "

"You know so much."

"No, you still know more."

"You know a lot."

"Shame."

"Modesty."

"We don't argue. This is not over. I thank you for your love. "

"I sincerely praise you. I think it's easy to talk to you, especially a confidant. "

"No, no, I can't stand bragging."

"You are always so modest, as if I praised you and hurt you, and I will be angry."

"Even if I know a lot, I actually think I can talk to you very well."

"I am very happy."

"I am also very happy."

***

When Ma Qing returned to the office, Guan Yu was dragged around the office by a man holding Bo neckband.

"Come on, let me go and let people see."

"Just help me, just slap two mouths, just two."

"No, I can't eat. I am very weak. "

"Let me do what I want to do. I have never returned to the Lord since I grew up so big. "

"Other things can be discussed, it is absolutely not. I tell you, if you lay a finger on me, I'll fight you. "

"Everyone is so selfish. They only care about themselves and ignore others. What can help others solve problems and relieve boredom? When they touch themselves, they will quit. " The man let go of Guan Yu and began to cry. "I'm really unlucky. I am not free. "

In view of the difficulty in breathing, Lala tugged at her wrinkled clothes and motioned for Ma Qing to put her softball bat behind the door. Back to the table and sat down, said to the man:

"Don't cry, the registration fee will be refunded to you. Let's go. "

The man cried, took twenty cents from Ma Qing, and then walked out the door tightly.

"Hu Da, how badly we did."

After the door closed, Ma Qing came a few steps, a butt sitting on the antique desk, loudly say:

"I get scolded from door to door every day, and you almost get beaten, so I enjoy it, go shopping every day and use coupons as gifts. I want to change jobs with him, and I want to fallow the fields. "

"We don't have a gentleman's agreement first, appoint people on their merits and teach students in accordance with their aptitude." Guan Yu leaned back in his chair and said wearily, "You are too gentle to talk to other people's girlfriends. Every time you turn a temporary helper into a full-time contractor, I can't let my husband come to see you the next day. "

"According to you, I can only be scolded by women forever and never have a chance to communicate with them?"

"Don't they they, she, just one, one whatever you want to communicate, eat a meal, play one by one. Sometimes your inclusive Xian Yi verve will make everyone with a sense of justice angry, which is immoral ... "

"But Yang Zhong is not a eunuch."

The phone rang, Yu Guanbian stretched out his hand to pick it up, and retorted:

"But he knows how to collect and get the best from roughness. You always swallow dates. He is very patient. He can talk nonsense all day and enjoy it. If you can't finish your meal in three minutes, start looking for the next one ... Hey, who are you looking for? "

"Just looking for you." There was a buzzing male voice in the microphone. "I'm Yang Zhong. I can't hold on any longer. I can't stand this woman. "

"I'm just praising your patience and talking nonsense."

"You don't know that this woman is a modernist who loves to talk about life. I have no words, and all the names of foreigners I remember are gone. "

"Dealing with modernism is my strong point." Ma Qing said at a side.

Guan Yu glared at him and said into the microphone, "Tell her about Nietzsche."

"I'm not familiar with Nietzsche, and I can't cut mountains any more. She has introduced me as the first confidant, and her eyes are wrong. "

"That's impossible. We are responsible to the anal doctor. You have to pay it back. "

"She wouldn't let me go back and tried to frame me."

"Well, we'll save you. First, you lower the topic, change the image, and make her feel that you are a vulgar person. "

"You can come quickly. I was stunned. I didn't hear it before, but now I can taste the power of modernism ... she came to me. I have to hang up. "

"Remember, transition to Freud."

"Come on, I can't hold on much longer."

Ma Qing hee hee, laughing, jumped down from his desk and walked around the room excitedly, waiting for him to tidy up his desk.

"I am good at Freud. I am a descendant of Freud in China."

"You are an automatic copy of China Freud's case." Guan Yu came out around the table. "I forbid you to take the opportunity to show off."

***

It was a sunny noon, and the people in the street were pushing each other. All the small restaurants and fast food restaurants are crowded with people who eat, and some people without seats even take food to the street to stand and eat. It took Guan Yu and Ma Zhong a long time to find a female customer in Yang Zhonghe by the cold drink counter in a cinema hall, where there were colorful advertisements. The cinema has just ended and the hall is crowded with people. Everyone is talking loudly. They crowded around Yang Zhong, but he didn't notice. Yang Zhong was obviously exhausted, and the head of the handkerchief counter was in a trance in the face of the gushing and flying spirits.

"You must really want to marry your mother, right?"

"No, no, my father married my mother. I can't marry my mom before my dad marries my mom. I can't be wrong. "

"I'm not saying that you married your mother, that's decency, and no one can marry his mother, a close relative. I mean, you want to marry your mother, but you can't, because you have your father unless your father is castrated. Because of ethics, you are miserable. You just want to marry your mother, but you can't, because you have your father. I don't understand why you came back. That's what happened anyway. Foreign quotations say that you choose your mother. "

"But my mother is a cyclops."

"His mother is not a cyclops, and he wouldn't want to marry his mother and have a younger brother or sister, because before he castrated his father, his father would castrate him first, because his father ate eight steamed buns and two kilograms of pork at a meal, worked in a breeding station and castrated tens of thousands of pigs, all of which were oily and didn't need a knife. The Japanese respectfully call his father Testicular Taro. " Ma Qing came out of XieCiLi and sat down next to Liu Meiping. She talked to her face like a barrage, and didn't stop laughing until she was shocked.

"This is my colleague Ma Qing, and this is our manager Guan Yu." Yang Zhong came back to life and introduced Ma Qing, who was staring at Liu Meiping with bright eyes and a smile, and Guan Yu, who had just dragged a chair and sat down, to Liu Meiping. "They are all my teachers. Gao Feifei, a major in instant noodles at Jiaotong University, is a member of the China Arbitration Commission."

"Are you? But I seldom talk about life with three people at the same time. "

"It doesn't matter." Sideways blocked Guan and Yang Zhong. "You just have to talk to me mainly and ask them to supplement what you haven't talked about thoroughly."

"Don't come so close to me, I don't know you yet."

"The anorectal doctor don't like your father? Does he work well? "

"What did you say? I don't understand you ... "

Guan Yu smiled and turned to Yang Zhong and said, "Have you been here all morning? Didn't go in to see a movie? "

"Yes, Obido donkey is in action."

"Foreign movies?"

"Where, domestic films, don't you know that domestic films now have foreign names?"

"Well, I feel empty, too. Getting married is boring." Ma Qing said affectedly, "It's not his father or his mother that you're looking for. Unlike foreign countries. Anyone can sleep with anyone, which is also convenient for others. Everyone has a house. Do you have your own house? "

Guan Yu and Yang Zhong laughed together. Yang Zhong took out a cigarette and handed it to Guan Yu. The two heads lit together.