Before going to bed last night, I read the tweet of WeChat official account on my mobile phone and saw another tweet calling for job hopping. As expected, there was a wave in my heart. Those distant and unknown places always make me feel strange and novel, thinking that I will always meet beautiful people and things there.

I lay in bed, thinking calmly and carefully. Why?

Why do I get so excited every time I see the words "foreign land, far away"? Is it really just for those wonderful experiences that people talk about?

Yes, I always look forward to the unknown distance. Those distant poems and beautiful stories make people yearn for them. Because I have never experienced it, I am wrapped in curiosity and mystery, which makes people flock to it. At this moment, I suddenly realized that what I was in and what I experienced was not a distance.

Since I am already in a foreign land and far away, why do I still have the idea of leaving? Didn't I meet any beautiful people here? No good experience?

So in fact, from another angle, is it more appropriate to use the word escape to describe the real inner reason why I yearn for poetry and distance?

I think it should be like this.

The place where I practice teaching now is far from the soil where I grew up. Here, I met cute and playful students and colleagues with different personalities, got in touch with a completely different way of life, felt the order and compactness when I went to work in a small town, and felt comfortable and calm after work.

For my life, it is indeed an unforgettable experience.

Then why am I still longing for the distance?

Because of my dissatisfaction with the status quo and my inability to handle things properly, my heart became flustered. In addition, I have never been a leisurely person, and such confusion can easily make me shrink back and escape. In this way, those so-called poems and distant places, except my true love, are all beautiful excuses.

In the four months without psychological counseling, I walked alone in a strange place, with both the determination to embrace the new world enthusiastically and the panic and agitation that I didn't adapt to the new environment. In this exploration, I gradually understood something. The counselor wants me to know, but he hopes to realize it through his own personal experience. For example, I understand that such a gloomy day is called depression.

I miss her, when I get something, when I am nervous, when I am in turmoil. I have been thinking that when I see her again, I will tell her everything, good, bad, happy and sad, so that she can feel me and the ever-changing world.