Psychological guidance: Ignoring the other person's reaction is the beginning of violent communication, which makes us wonder why the topic has not become more interesting, but has been interrupted by inexplicable "hehe", "oh" and "haha". Most people ignore the reason for our emotional changes, which is actually the tone and attitude of the other party. Annoying "Hehe", "Oh" and "Haha" A master's thesis entitled "Research on the Role of Hehe in Network Conversation" became popular on the Internet. The author thinks that the network language "Hehe" has unique functions, and even has great reference significance for the study of spoken language and natural texts. Not to mention the significance of "Hehe" in China's modern linguistics, we have all experienced it more or less in our conversation. When we talk about our thoughts and feelings, and the listener responds with the word "hehe", our mood is depressed and even angry. If we don't want to reply or don't know how to reply to continue our conversation, we have the so-called "chat" feeling. Why can't we talk? Most people ignore that the reason for our emotional changes at this time is the tone and attitude of the other party. In many cases, we just observe this external stimulus without looking for the internal reasons. Ignoring the source of the other party's reaction is the beginning of violent communication, which makes us wonder why the topic has not become more interesting, but has been interrupted by inexplicable "hehe", "oh" and "haha". How to fully express anger? How to communicate nonviolent in interpersonal communication? First of all, we should understand why we are angry and how to express ourselves by giving ourselves time to think, whether it is external stimulation or internal reasons. What is "violent communication"? If an exchange or a relationship makes us feel sad and lost, it may be that the way we speak and communicate has caused such an unsatisfactory result. We often don't realize or even think that our way of talking is "violent" and offensive. If we can recall the conversation after an unpleasant communication, we will find that our language often brings pain to ourselves and others. Emotional and mental trauma caused by words such as denial, ridicule, preaching, random interruption, arbitrary evaluation, ignoring and not responding. These unintentional or intentional verbal violence make people become indifferent and hostile, which is more painful than physical harm. To sum up, different values have created different ways of speaking and languages, which is the external embodiment of one's thinking structure. Changing the way of communication is an important beginning of self-transformation. The core idea of nonviolent communication is that two people with identical values hardly exist, just as there are no two identical leaves in the world. Through the communication of language, people can contact and learn more new, interesting and useful things, open their thinking limitations and discover themselves more deeply. Learn how to communicate with others nonviolent and more, so as to break the shackles of one's own thoughts and transcend the limitations of one's heart and emotions; Solve interpersonal conflicts in a harmless way; Break through the way of thinking that leads to negative emotions such as anger, depression and anxiety. Indian philosopher J. Krishnamurti once said, "Observation without comment is the highest form of human wisdom." When I first heard this view, the idea of "nonsense" flashed through my mind-I made a comment unconsciously. For most people, it is difficult to observe others and their behaviors without judging, accusing or analyzing them in other ways. How to distinguish between observation and comment? It is difficult to really observe without judgment. In most cases, smart people choose not to say anything, but they will still have their own set of standard principles and make quick judgments according to their own value orientation. This innate way of thinking may only be forcibly changed by continuous practice the day after tomorrow. This way of communication is universal, because it focuses on people's basic needs: hope to be understood and valued. However, China people are generally not good at expressing their feelings directly, and there are unnecessary misunderstandings in the communication process. A typical misunderstanding is that we are used to treating the other person's expression, such as tone, as the expression itself, without considering the feelings and needs of the speaker and the content of the speech, so what we need is to calm down first. Excavate the emotions and needs behind the language, pay attention to others on the premise of loving yourself, and listen wholeheartedly, so that people can feel the same and live in harmony. Learn to be tolerant and grateful for the gift of life, not greed. A good communicator should be sincere, tolerant and value others more than himself. Add some appropriate language skills. Skills can be cultivated, but nature is hard to overcome, so I hope to change myself through reading and practicing. Recommendation: Non-violent communication is a conclusion summarized by Dr. Marshall Luxembourg from his own life story, which tells people how to communicate with others in a harmless way and then return to themselves: only positive self-evaluation can better avoid the mental harm caused by "hidden violence" to others. Another great advantage of this book is that it is not uncommon in theory and practice due to cultural differences, and it is easy to understand and master. It is not chicken soup for the soul, but the enlightenment of learning active communication, exploring the feelings behind the language and the unmet needs, and introducing specific communication methods. Non-violent communication mainly revolves around four factors: observation, feeling, need and request. Text/Tonga