Think about it, if the sea loses the rolling of huge waves, it will lose its spectacular momentum; Without the wild dance of flying sand, the desert has lost its connotation. Open your heart, let tolerance and open-mindedness return, live a kind of strength, and believe that you will get the care and care of life.
There is a business owner in Japan who keeps a "bright diary" every day to record all the happy things. He named the work regular meeting that was closed every month "Happy Regular Meeting", and asked the managers of all departments to report the happiest things of this month within three minutes, which caused the whole audience to laugh. This boss is Wada Kazuo, president of Eight Hundred Companions, the largest Japanese retail group.
Two years ago, it was reported that "Eight Hundred Companions" fell into a trough overnight, when Wada Kazuo was 72 years old. But the collapse of "Eight Hundred Companions" did not shatter Wada Kazuo's faith and happiness. He cooperated with several young people and started an online consulting company. Facing the new industry, he is full of confidence and always has a smile on his face. His happiness, enthusiasm and positive attitude towards life finally touched the customers. Soon, his business was booming and he lived a "sunny day" in his life.
A reporter asked Wada Kazuo why he could come back in such a short time. Wada Kazuo replied, "Because I failed, I can laugh!"
You can laugh even if you fail. No matter what the circumstances, even if it is a fatal blow, as long as you can persist in "laughing" like Wada Kazuo and "laughing" happily, then the sunshine in life will eventually push away the flowers of success in life.
Second, when encountering setbacks, we should learn to attribute positively, and then prescribe the right medicine to find an effective way to deal with setbacks.
The late famous mathematician Chen Shengshen was admitted to the School of Science of Nankai University in Tianjin at the age of 15. Once I had a chemistry experiment class, and the content was "Blowing glass tubes". Bobby Chen was at a loss for the glass in his hand and the flame used to keep warm in front of him. Later, with the help of the experimental teacher, it was finally blown, but he thought the blown glass tube was too hot and washed it with cold water. In an instant, the glass tube clicked completely, which made Chen Shengshen very moved. He found that he lacked the ability to do it, so he made the first crucial choice in his life-to give up physical chemistry and specialize in mathematics. Many years later, he became a famous mathematician in China at home and abroad. In the face of setbacks, we should be good at adjusting our emotions, keep a cool head and make reasonable attribution. If the immediate difficulties are really difficult to overcome, we should give up the original goal and find our own position again. As long as you are open-minded, optimistic, diligent and hardworking, the ugly duckling will also become a white swan!
Third, comfort yourself with psychological defense, restore psychological balance, and eliminate and alleviate frustration.
There is such a fable that there is an Orion who grows a lot of grapes in his yard. Every time Orion goes out, a fox comes under the grape trellis, hoping to eat grapes. Because the grape trellis is too high, I always come back disappointed on a whim. One day, the fox didn't eat anything, and he was so hungry that he came under the grape trellis and saw this heavy bunch of ripe purple grapes, which made his mouth water! The fox stepped back, held his breath and jumped up suddenly. Unfortunately, there are still so many things to do, and the fox really can't jump after several times!
The fox thought: if only a bunch of grapes fell! It raised its neck and waited for a long time, but there was still no hope.
"Alas ..." The fox sighed. Suddenly, the fox smiled and comforted himself and said, "That grape is raw, sour and astringent, and it is not delicious at all. Give it to me and I won't eat it! " "So the fox happily went back hungry.
Psychologists call the story that foxes can't eat grapes and say grapes are sour "sour grape psychology". "Sour grape psychology" is to make up some "reasons" to comfort yourself, eliminate tension, relieve stress, and free yourself from negative psychological States such as dissatisfaction and anxiety when your needs are not met and you feel frustrated, so as to relieve your inner anxiety.
For example, candidates who fail the exam can comfort themselves with sour grapes. Even if you are admitted to an undergraduate course or even a key point, the study period is long and the cost is high, it does not mean that you can find a good job in the future. It's best to go to a vocational school, with short study period and low cost. Some vocational education majors and even employers can't get them, which has become a hot potato and the employment prospects are promising. Flexibly adjust the established and unattainable pursuit goals and create a world of your own.
Fourth, in the face of setbacks, we should have tenacious perseverance and perseverance.
Some people give up their goals as soon as they encounter difficulties and setbacks, and the result is bound to be nothing. And people with firm will and conviction are good at turning stumbling blocks on the way forward into stepping stones to success and realize the value of life.
Colonel Sanders, the founder of KFC fried chicken chain, was penniless at the age of 65 and lived on welfare. When he had the secret recipe of fried chicken that everyone once liked, and he didn't know whether the restaurant wanted it or not, he immediately lobbied from door to door. He told every restaurant that if this secret recipe can be adopted, I believe that business will definitely improve, hoping to share in the increased turnover. Many people laughed at him to his face: "Come on, old man, if you have such a good secret recipe, why are you still wearing such shabby clothes?" These words did not make Colonel Sanders back down, and he was never annoyed by the rejection of the restaurant before. He still smiled and drove his shabby old car to persuade the next restaurant in a more effective way. After the 1009 rejection, I finally heard a "yes".
Fifth, when encountering difficulties and setbacks, we should learn to guide ourselves, turn negative emotions into positive ones, and increase our courage to overcome setbacks and failures. We can't just sit back and wait.
Psychologists have done such an experiment: put a mouse into a pool, it will use its beard to locate itself, and in a short time, it can swim to the shore. Later, the psychologist put another mouse with its beard cut off into the pool. The mouse lost its moustache as a "detector" and could not determine its position, so it stopped all efforts and ended its life. Psychologists call this way of death "suicidal thoughts", which is really sighing. In life, we often meet the "pool" that mice encounter, so we give up the belief of struggle and ambition and indulge ourselves in a shallow and narrow pool.
There are pains and troubles in life, so we should learn to self-channel and adjust, and talk to friends or classmates. After some catharsis, it can relieve depressed emotions and relieve pain. When you are in a bad mood, change a situation that can make you feel better, turn anger and sadness into motivation, set a new goal and pursue it with stronger confidence.
In some western countries, frustration scenes will be created to cultivate children's frustration tolerance. There is a whale school in France. This school has a special education that allows children to cross the Atlantic twice and visit three islands in one year. In addition to the test of wind and waves, children must go hungry. In the football match, some black-hearted referees will blow the black whistle, which will make the athletes' mood fluctuate greatly and seriously interfere with their normal play. Therefore, some coaches will deliberately blow the black whistle during training to cultivate their psychological counseling ability.
Everyone should understand that there are not only flowers and applause, but also thorns and tears in the process of life after calmly savoring their own life situation. We should find the key to open the door to the future in epiphany, so that we can keep an optimistic mood, open-minded tolerance and open mind at any time in life. Let's face setbacks and failures with a smile, hone ourselves in setbacks and failures, and raise the sail of life again.