Funny humorous jokes (hot articles)
1. A professor assigned a topic for his students: on laziness. In the evening, when he was correcting his homework, he opened a classmate's notebook and saw that the first page was blank and the second page was blank. He turned to the third page, which read:? This is laziness! ?
2. Q: How can I shoot cherry blossoms to get Japanese flavor? Answer: PS the street sign into Japanese.
3. A sister takes a bus and sits next to a strange aunt. The mobile phone rang, and my aunt answered the phone and said to the phone very brightly. Ah, I'm not free this morning! I have to accompany Hui Hui to the hospital for an abortion! ? The crowded car suddenly quieted down. I glanced at my aunt next to me. When I turned my face, I found that the whole car was staring at me. But I'm really not Hui Hui.
4. death: I have serialized 1 1 year. ? Naruto:? What is this? I serialized 13 years. ? One piece:? I have been serializing 15 years, and I don't know when it will end. ? Detective Conan: In terms of qualifications, you are still a little worse than me. I have serialized 18 years. ? The news broadcast laughed:? Ha ha. . You are all cowardly and violent! I've been serializing for 36 years, and it's still an episode a day. Can you do it?
5. Go to IKEA to visit the children's area with your girlfriend. When I felt it, I said, good girl, what do you want from my father? My girlfriend jumped on me and said in a very sad voice, dad, I want inheritance ~ inheritance ~ production ~
6. In Chinese class, the teacher asked: Who can explain what it means to go back to Korea? Xiao Ming immediately replied: it means to lose the battle. ? The teacher looked puzzled and asked? Why do you say that, Xiao Ming? They all went back with the bodies and were not defeated. ? teacher
7. In the third year of high school, the class teacher's class was a little hot in the classroom, so the class teacher took off his coat while lecturing. No one noticed that the teacher took off his coat, but when the teacher was halfway off, a boy in the back suddenly shouted: Take off! Uncle has plenty of money! ? The teacher suddenly had a black line all over his face.
Grandpa bought tomatoes, picked three and put them on the scale. The stall owner weighed them: "A catty and a half is 3.7 yuan." Grandpa: "You don't need so much to make soup." Remove the biggest tomatoes. Stall owner, "220 yuan is a catty, three yuan." Just when I wanted to remind my uncle to pay attention to the scale, he calmly took out 70 cents, picked up the big tomato that had just been taken away, turned around and left, and the stall owner was messy on the spot.
9. A student studying in China had a fight with an American classmate, and someone fell down and shouted angrily, Fuck you! His American classmate then asked others: What did he say? He said he slept with your mother. Hearing this, the foreign students immediately went over to help the China students politely and said, Sorry, I didn't know you were my mother's boyfriend!
10. Poor girlfriend abandoned him and found a continental drama in Gao Fushuai. The poor boy and the short man competed with Gao Fushuai for the same girl. Later, the girl chose a poor and short Korean drama. Gao Fushuai pretends to be poor and falls in love with a girl. A group of poor people are laughing happily at Gao Fushuai's American TV series. What connects the poor and Gao Fushuai people happily is English drama?
Funny humorous joke (classic)
1. It's too hot. After drinking a bottle of beer, I want to drink another bottle. The wife disagreed, and the son said, Mom, let dad drink. It's too hot. ? I am happy to say:? It's better to be a son, towards dad. ? The son said:? Mother promised to give me the money from selling wine bottles as pocket money. ?
2. Chief: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, sir! Chief patted a soldier's chest and said, good muscle training! Soldier: Sir, I'm a female soldier!
3. A buddy downstairs is on the phone: Fuck, if I hadn't gambled, I would have at least 100,000 now, and it's no problem to spend more than 8,000 a month. Now it's 800 a month, and there won't be a train ticket. I really shouldn't gamble! ? I was stunned, then thought about it and judged what he said. Studying for a PhD? , not? Gambling? .
4. The middle school math teacher's surname is Yuwen. One day, a classmate called him Teacher Yu. I don't think I know there is another thing called compound surname. The teacher said awkwardly, classmate, my name is Yuwen. Call me Mr. Yuwen. This classmate paused for a second and said, but you are a math teacher.
Thinking of today's holiday, I sent a short message to a leader:? Boss, I wish you a happy holiday and be as happy as you are today. After a while, the leader texted me back and said that I was going to the grave. . . ? After a while, the leader sent another one:? Go directly to the finance department to get paid after the holiday! ?
6. After breaking up. I want nothing. I just hope that every woman in your future is not as good as one.
7. It's vulgar for boys to watch Titanic with girls in April. At most, I get a chance to help girls wipe their tears. However, you can take her to see the 3D Zhen Zi in May, and maybe go home with the girl who fainted.
He is the next seat on her plane. She accosted the exotic man in the Middle East in every way: What seat do you like? He turned his face and his eyes were full of happiness: I like Gemini. She said shyly, a Gemini is very close to you! He smiled: This is the purpose of my visit. She was almost dizzy with happiness and watched him walk to the taxi. Write this moment: 20065438+0 September 1 1 new york.
9. Living the life of Bajie, but wanting the figure of Monkey Brother, dreaming!
10. One day, the child who came back from kindergarten came to ask his mother: Mom, where am I from? Mom took a deep breath and blushed and said, dad's sperm and mom's egg are combined ...? When I finally finished, I saw the child with a puzzled face and said, Mom, what's going on? The deskmate said he was from Guangxi! ?
Funny humorous jokes (selected articles)
1. I bought melon seeds, preserved fruits and potato chips for my husband to quit smoking. Seeing fewer and fewer snacks, I asked my husband how the effect was. He said:? Smoking while eating snacks really feels much better than dry smoking. ?
2. A rich man came to a lamp city. He dresses simply! He saw a beautiful lamp hanging on the wall and asked the waiter, How much is this lamp? The waiter gave him a look and made no answer. He continued to entertain other customers. This is a rich man who picked up a crutch, smashed it at the lamp, and then said to the waiter, now I can know how much it is worth! ?
My husband just came home from work and asked his wife: What is delicious to cook today? The wife replied softly: very rich! Braised beef, seafood, prawns, pickled chicken feet, chopped green onion ribs, black pepper steak? My husband's mouth watered and he soon changed his mind. Honey, that's very kind of you! ! ? The wife then said:? So many flavors of instant noodles, which one do you want to eat?
In the middle of the night, Holmes woke up his assistant, pointed to the stars in the sky and asked, What do you think of when you see so many stars? The assistant pondered for a long time and said: every star is equivalent to a sun, and the earth we live in is just an asteroid in the solar system. How small we humans are! ? You idiot, our tent was stolen! ! ! ? Holmes growled.
5. Go to the bar and chat with the boss:? It's time to change the president, and the boss quickly stopped saying, it's boring not to talk about politics! ? Let me change the subject: I heard that Paul II was interrupted again: Don't talk about religion, it's boring! What about football? Recently, the national football team has repeatedly lost and fought. No, I held my breath for this battle and asked, then let's talk about sex. The boss replied happily: Good! ? Me:? Fuck you! ?
6. Friend A bought Crazy 4? But he always borrows his friend B to cut fruit. Friend b asked: you have your own madness 4, isn't it more enjoyable to cut it? Friend A said: Your mobile phone? Not fast enough? Not working hard enough
7.？ The moon stars are rare, and the black magpies fly south; Three times around the tree, there are no branches to follow. What do these four poems express Cao Cao's mood? Can't find a parking space to eat. ?
8. When I get married, we will tattoo a pair of rings. Whoever files for divorce first will chop off his fingers.
9. Man Xiu Youth: Every festival in the university is a confession day, even Tomb-Sweeping Day is spared. Dear, would you like to be buried in my grave after death?
10. When I was in college, I went to an Internet cafe and sat at the end of a row of computers. Soon the whole row of computers was cut off. Players make various sounds, such as dropping the mouse and tapping the keyboard. The stationmaster came to see if I kicked the socket open. He butted in and said nothing. After a while, I kicked it away again. The stationmaster came over and said, go! If the gamer finds out, we can't guarantee your safety!
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