-Reading Carnegie's Emotional Management.
Xunzi said: "People can't live without groups." Yan fu also pointed out in his theory of evolution: "those who can live in groups will perish without groups;" Those who are good at groups survive, and those who are not good at groups die. "Visible, born in the world, we must learn to integrate into social groups. In this way, we can learn, gain and enjoy.
In real life, whether men, women, children, rich or poor, whether you like it or not, whether you are conscious or not, your emotions are not only the result of other people's behaviors and emotions, but also affect other people's emotions and behaviors. Therefore, learn how to manage your emotions in interpersonal communication, and "treat yourself as others and treat others as yourself" in communication; Treat others as others, treat yourself as yourself ",in order to truly get happiness and happiness, and move towards success and glory.
/kloc-In the 3rd century, the prince of North Wales, Levellon, had a loyal and fierce dog, Gellert. One day, the prince went hunting and left the dog at home to look after the baby. When the prince came back, he saw the bloody carpet, but didn't see the baby. The dog licked the blood in his mouth and looked at him happily. The prince was furious and pulled out a knife and stabbed the dog in the abdomen. The dog screamed and woke up the baby sleeping under the bloody blanket. At this moment, the prince found a dead wolf lying in the corner. It turns out that Gellert killed the wolf to protect his young master.
This is a sad story. If the prince had been rational and carefully analyzed the whole story, he would not have killed his beloved dog by mistake, which would make him regret for life. As the story says, we often encounter various unexpected situations in real life. At this time, emotional management began to play a role. If we can't control the anger or sadness at that time, things will often get worse; But if we can calm down and wait for the gas to subside before dealing with it, we will also find that the so-called problems or contradictions are actually nothing more than that. Therefore, learn to control your irritable mood, don't be trapped by selfishness, and work hard. Welcome things calmly with ... No matter what you expect or can't do, you should face it calmly, don't worry, don't panic. Only in this way can we create a new future.
In fact, in the process of controlling your emotions, empathy is a more effective method. Many times, different people have different views on the same thing. As "a thousand readers have a thousand Hamlets". For the same glass of water, optimists will feel "Ha, there is still half a glass of water", while pessimists will feel "Oh, there is only half a glass of water". The results are quite different. Optimists drink water with relish, while pessimists drink water without taste. The same is true of interpersonal relationships. It is inevitable that there will be contradictions between friends, and even serious disputes will arise, because everyone feels that their own is the most reasonable. In this case, if one side can be a little more tolerant and objectively evaluate this matter from the other side's point of view, it will also be found that the other side is also very reasonable. This can avoid a lot of unnecessary troubles and will not destroy the feelings between friends.
I believe everyone must have heard the story of a blind man, a deaf man and two able-bodied people crossing the bridge. Why did the blind and deaf finally cross the bridge, but a healthy person fell into the abyss? Isn't a person with normal hearing and vision worse than the blind and deaf? This involves the problem of mentality. Blind eyes can't see, Fuguishan Gao Qiao risks, so he calmly climbed the rope; The deaf can't hear, so he can't smell the roar under his feet, and his fear is relatively reduced; A healthy person who has crossed the bridge thinks that he has crossed the bridge. What does Wei Feng have to do with him? What does the rapids have to do with him? So he just pays attention to stand firm and cross the bridge smoothly. Many times, success is like catching an iron rope. The reason for failure is not because of low IQ or weak strength, but because of fear of the environment and the surrounding momentum. William james, the most outstanding professor of psychology at Harvard University, once wrote six sentences: "If you care enough about a certain result, you will certainly accomplish it;" If you want to do it well, do it well; You expect to get rich, and you will get rich; If you want to learn, you must be knowledgeable. Only in this way can you really look forward to these things and do them wholeheartedly, instead of wasting a lot of time thinking about other trivial things. "This is the power to build a good attitude. If you can do this, why worry about unhappy life?
Master Carnegie said that "85% of a person's success comes from his interpersonal relationship". In interpersonal relationships, the management and control of emotions undoubtedly account for a considerable proportion. So learn to control your emotions and keep your mind at peace. And high emotional intelligence is a catalyst for a better life. In this way, we can grasp life and enjoy it.
Appreciating others is respect for others. In life, some people are passionate, some people are as deep as the sea, some people are simple and simple, and some people are superficial and flashy. Life is so colorful, why should we resist the reasonable existence of others in order to seek our own value? You know, life has its own logic, ugliness will eventually give way to beauty, illusion will eventually be replaced by truth, brevity will eventually be short, and eternity will be absolutely eternal. Therefore, to appreciate others is to respect others.
Appreciating others is an encouragement to others. As william james said: "The deepest psychological motivation in human nature is the desire to be appreciated." We are all eager to be appreciated by others. Similarly, everyone should learn to appreciate others. In fact, appreciation and being appreciated is a source of interactive power. Appreciators must have a happy heart, a loving heart and a good idea of adult beauty. People who are appreciated will also have the heart of self-esteem, the power to forge ahead and the ambition to make progress.
Appreciating others is the cornerstone of your own progress. A Spanish scholar said: "A wise man respects everyone because he knows that everyone has his own strengths and that it is not easy to achieve something. Learning to appreciate everyone will benefit you a lot. " Because appreciating others is based on recognition, which is also a learning process. Cheers, other people's achievements, advantages, and even successful methods are in my heart. No one doesn't want to be excellent. When you say "you are really good" to others, you have actually found a new round of goals for yourself invisibly.
Appreciating others is a virtue of being a man. On the road of life, no one can be smooth sailing. Appreciation and encouragement from others is sometimes a good medicine. As the saying goes, "a good word warms three winters." Appreciating others can not only comfort and warm people, but also spur them to fully stimulate their potential, so that they can strive for greater success. Appreciate others, and others may appreciate you. Over time, the advantages of others have become your advantages, and the beauty of others has also become your beauty, and you will become a beautiful scenery.
Appreciating others is tolerance, discovery, understanding, wisdom and realm. Smart people are silently improving themselves while appreciating others; Stupid people can only see the shortcomings of others, but can't see the advantages and advantages of others. Some people like to be self-centered and ignore the achievements of others. They feel uncomfortable when they hear that others have won the prize, and they are not happy when they see others' progress. This selfish and narrow-minded psychology will not only make you form character defects, but also affect communication with colleagues and friends, thus affecting your progress and ability improvement. We appreciate the gains of others, and we should also appreciate the footprints of others' struggles. We can't find perfection in this world. Everything is flawed. Everyone has his shining side and his dark side, but to varying degrees. Therefore, we should accept a complete person with a broad mind, strive to improve ourselves and actively work and create. Therefore, the appreciation of the wise is to devote yourself to creating a brilliant melting pot while appreciating others, to cultivate inferiority into self-confidence, to forge dissatisfaction into struggle, to spread detachment into humility, to sublimate grievances into excitement, to squeeze setbacks into motivation, and to temper setbacks into sophistication ... Although there is no red carpet under your feet and no rosy clouds on your head, the appreciation of life may become your own unique and eternal scenery.
Cut the mountain horizontally at the side of the mountain.
When the heart is clear, rain is also an eye; When the heart is raining, sunny is also rain.
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The universe is infinite and life is short.
Compared with the long river of history, how small is life? Is it suffering, sadness, frustration, decline, enrichment or loneliness? It is not easy to be lucky enough to come to this world once, so why pursue the perfection of everything in life? It's hard to let go. It's not necessary.
The eagle strikes the sky, the fish is shallow, the camel walks in the desert, and the tiger roars in the forest. Every life has its advantages and disadvantages. As for how to evaluate, the key lies in the curtains in our eyes and hearts. As the saying goes, when we look over the mountains, the mountains become mountains.
Learn to appreciate, appreciate with a happy heart, and you will find that the world is beautiful. Isn't it? Zhang Ailing is not beautiful, but how many people will marvel and admire her talent and unique temperament, and San Mao is not beautiful, but how many people are fascinated by the olive tree and the Sahara desert in her dream; Einstein was even ugly, but this did not hinder his enthusiasm for science. Van Gogh can even be described as frightening, but this does not prevent him from being crazy about art ... Just from another perspective, these people with imperfect appearance have left us memories that span the long river of history.
Learn to appreciate, appreciate with a calm heart, and you will find, you will find, and regret is also beautiful. Isn't it? Disease has bound Hawking's body, but the universe is full of the wise thoughts of this great scientist. When Zhou Zhou, born with mental retardation, is immersed in the world of music, he seems to be the master of all life; Zhang Ji has the pain of falling out of the list, so there is the Hanshan Bell that has been passed down through the ages ... Everything in the world belongs to it, learn to appreciate it, and don't demand perfection.
Learn to appreciate, appreciate with a grateful heart, and you will find that life is beautiful everywhere, right? If you can't be a road, make a path. If you can't be the sun, be a star. Life belongs to you. Success lies not in size, but in being a good person. Learn to appreciate yourself, and you will have an angel's smile.
Looking at the mountain on the side of the mountain, you just need to learn to appreciate it.
Learn to appreciate
The calm sea is beautiful, it gives people the beauty of tranquility and details, and the rough sea is also beautiful, which makes people feel the heroic waves. The same thing, the same thing, but because of your different eyes, gives people a completely different feeling. Look at people or things with appreciation, and you will see advantages; But when you look at the problem critically, you see countless shortcomings.
Zhuge Liang is a talented person. It stands to reason that a talented person should match a beautiful woman, but it is said that his wife is ugly, but she is very talented. She taught Zhuge Liang how to be flexible. Zhuge Liang didn't criticize her appearance, he appreciated her talent.
Han Hong is a famous Tibetan singer. Her appearance is not outstanding. No one will say that she is a beauty, but she is famous for her singing skills. We won't criticize her figure, because we appreciate her beautiful voice and her musical talent.
Quasimodo in Notre Dame is ugly, but he has penetrated into the hearts of many readers. Nobody cares about his appearance. What we appreciate is his integrity and kindness, and his great spirit of dedication to love.
Maybe it is not easy to really look at people or things with appreciation. It is inevitable that we will be influenced by our feelings and blind our eyes. We may forget to appreciate his merits because of quarreling with friends, and at this time, your friends are so selfish and heartless; We may forget their concern and care for ourselves because of the contradiction with our relatives. At this moment, our loved ones are so far away in your heart. If we change our mentality and look at it from another angle, we may find that those words of friends are actually advice to you, and the views of relatives are different from yours because they care about you. Therefore, if you want to learn to appreciate, you can't let the emotional clouds cover your eyes.
Roses are prickly, but they symbolize beautiful love.
Rainy weather is annoying, but the rain moistens the growth of plants.
Winter is cold and dry, but winter snow protects the seeds waiting to germinate under the snow.
Learn to appreciate, and you will find how beautiful and pleasant things around you are.