I saw you ask the same question on goo, and someone answered it for you. I ask you to sort out the context of your paper first. The first paragraph first expounds several consumption concepts, and then the second paragraph summarizes which concepts LZ thinks are reasonable and worth recommending.
As for the correctness of Japanese rhetoric, combination and language, I don't think it's the most important thing, as long as the grammar is correct and you can correctly explain what you want to express. After all, you wrote an economic paper, not a novel. I really want to change it, and there are still many places to change. )