Lu Yun

Literature is my emotional outlet and my way of communicating with the world. Everyone has a different cure. Some people like playing chess and fishing, others like sports. I like to immerse myself in books and words and share joys and sorrows with the characters inside. As soon as I have time, I type on the computer, my hands are beating fast, and my emotions are pouring out between my fingers, just like spring water flowing naturally. Speaking of literary dream, it runs through every pass of my life, witnessed every growth of me, and guided me forward like an immortal lighthouse.

I was born in an ordinary town in northern Jiangsu. I don't like to buy snacks and other expenses since I was a child. I just have a special preference for books, and all my pocket money is spent on books. When I was a child, I grew up watching all kinds of books collected by my father and bought by myself from Xinhua Bookstore and post office newsstand. I read classic works to feel the broadness of traditional culture, read Soviet novels to experience the beauty of foreign literature, and follow the writer's wonderful pen across ancient and modern China and foreign countries, colliding with colorful ideological sparks.

After school, my composition is often used by teachers to read and show model essays, and slowly the seeds of literature begin to sprout in my little heart. I still remember one day when I just came home from school, my mother pulled me to tell me a good news. My composition won an award and my father came back with a big smile on his face. It turned out that my father met my Chinese teacher on the way. She said that one of my compositions won the second prize in the town composition competition, and the first prize was won by a senior in senior three, which fully showed that my composition level was excellent, and our compositions were all displayed in the county. I can't remember which article I wrote at that time. Although my father is still serious and doesn't mention anything in front of me, he always has a unique sense of majesty and distance in front of his children at that time, but I can imagine the pride and joy in the corner of his eyes when he talks to the teacher. Since then, I have studied and written more diligently. I not only love literature, but also expect to get my father's affirmative eyes and rare smiles again, even if these are indirectly obtained from my mother.

I looked at the sky excitedly and stood in the small yard and told my mother that I would be a writer in the future. I would buy a house with a yard and write while reading. There are flowers and vegetables in the yard all the year round, and you can also raise cats to paint and listen to singing. It would be better if there is still room to open a bookstore and share some good books and ideas. Mom smiled and nodded my forehead and said, your daydream is beautiful. It's not so easy to sit at home and wait for the payment to come. Your father can write and draw, but he didn't become a writer. I am very satisfied that you can support yourself in the future! I was not intimidated by my mother's cold water, and continued to record my little inspiration in my diary and notes.

Time to senior three, I failed the list, extremely depressed, confused. On a winter night's evening self-study road, I walked alone on the deserted county road. It was dark all around, and a long way away, several warm street lamps suddenly appeared, which made me feel very warm. At that moment, I thought about my life and encouraged my relatives and friends along the way. This street lamp is as warm as their eyes, and I seem to have gone through a difficult road in their concerned eyes.

Back to the dormitory, I wrote a song "Heart Wing". "It's a long night, I'm walking alone on the road, I can't find my goal and I'm lost. At the corner, a street lamp suddenly blinked and stared at me. It's too warm. Is this what friends expect? Are those parents' eyes? They are far away and let me trudge on this road alone, because they believe in me-believe that I can find the other side of freedom in out of the dark alone. They are far away and let me trudge on this road alone, because they believe in me-I believe I will stand up again from where I failed. "

So, after countless lonely nights, while reading, I picked up the newspaper to review my lessons and kept writing down my self-motivation. At that time, poems and essays were gradually published in notebooks. The poem "Two Clouds" won the second prize in the Huaxia Cup Poetry Competition, and the prose "Sunshine Four Seasons" was selected into the magazine "Hundred Essays" and published in the book "Selected Essays of Contemporary Poetry" published by China Drama Publishing House. The editorial department of Prose Hundred Schools also specially issued me an editing certificate. Watching my own words turn into type, my literary dream changed from a seed to a small tree, which took root and sprouted. At that time, it was no less than a beam of light to brighten my gloomy re-reading career.

In the second year, I took the college entrance examination, but I didn't get into my favorite undergraduate college because of my math scores. Only admitted to a little-known ordinary university in northern Jiangsu. I didn't lose heart. During this period, I remained optimistic and continued to write. Another article, Broken Butterfly, was selected by Girl magazine in Jilin Province. 40 yuan sent the manuscript fee to the school. There was no mobile phone and seal at that time, and the remittance notice was signed by the director of the guidance office. This is a groundbreaking event in our school, and the director of the guidance office feels very proud. He asked the class teacher to inform me that the school would reward me with 40 yuan. This adds up to 80 yuan's contribution fee, which makes me feel that the power of literature has once again inspired my body and mind. In this way, by reading and writing more and not giving up my personality, I seized the opportunity in my second year of college and transferred to another undergraduate college in Nanjing.

When I was a college student in Nanjing, my mom's photos, walking with my dad, and breaking into a butterfly were also published in the school newspaper. I remember that the payment is once a quarter, and the school guidance office will post a pink poster in the corridor to inform the list of people who receive the payment to be written in a black place with a brush. When I saw my name on the list, I was as happy as winning the grand prize.

After graduating from college, I was busy with the workplace and my literary creation stagnated. What I wrote became the work report of the unit, the year-end summary and the summary of various trade unions, which also won me the praise of the pen in the unit. Fortunately, there is no shortage of reading, and the unit is in Hongwu North Road, which is very close to Xinhua Bookstore in Xinjiekou. I often walk over to read books. I walked south along Hongwu North Road and passed the huge iron pedestrian bridge. The thick black iron sheet is polished very brightly, and the drumming sound of stepping on it is very rhythmic and chronological. I have spent the night rain on the phoenix tree and the light and shadow on the overpass. Xinhua Bookstore, No.56, Zhongshan East Road, accompanied me through the ravines of the workplace. Here, there is no noise, only tranquility, no luxury, only massiness; Here, there is no rich and poor, beautiful and ugly, and everyone can have it; Here, only the silent communication between readers and books is another beautiful spiritual home.

After marriage, I became a wife and mother, and I had two children one after another. I can't go to work normally anymore. I often feel out of touch with society, lost and confused in trivial busyness, and my lover's incomprehension makes me feel lost and almost depressed. At this time, I attended a book club and came across Mr. Mai, a Malaysian Chinese. He recommended me to read Seven Habits of Efficient People by Stephen Covey. When I saw the habit of "beginning to end", a plot touched me. It makes us imagine how we want people to evaluate our lives when we leave this world. Is it a virtuous wife, an excellent doctor, a public-spirited person or something else? It suggests that everyone start to create a personal mission statement, set their own life goals and stick to them.

At that moment, my literary dream was lit and illuminated again. I hope my mission in life is to wake myself up and illuminate others with words like a lighthouse. I calmed down and deeply analyzed my situation. Although I am out of touch with my work, I am not out of touch with my life. Life is just a part of society. In the corners of those ordinary lives and ordinary people, there are many glittering treasures worth discovering and writing. So, I picked up my own literary dream in time, carefully observed the people, things and things around me, and slowly transformed my feelings in life into words and passed them on. The mail that was thrown out gradually had an echo, and the tofu blocks also came out.

After Jinling Evening News was published, the first article How to Be Home was out of control, followed by haircut, tailoring, cats in my life, letters and stamps, learning to ride an electric car, my father and Mr. Zhong Shujun, and red in the cold wind. Later, when chestnuts were fragrant again, the tall water tower in my hometown, the interesting story of garbage sorting in the yard and the story of fried noodles were published in Modern Express one after another. Later, My Heart was published in Youth, and articles such as My Faithful Wife at Home, Xiao Lu the Vegetable Delivery Man, and A Timely Rain by Master Xiao Yang were also published in People's Weekly in Beijing, and I stepped onto a bigger stage step by step. Money orders have gradually increased, although the amount is not large, but it is a great encouragement for me to regain my old dreams. All my self-confidence is back, a smile slowly blooms on my face, and my heart comes alive.

This long journey of taking care of children full-time and alone is like those gloomy days when the college entrance examination failed to repeat. This time, the dream of reading and literature saved me. It has become my spiritual pillar and the most indispensable part of my life.

There is no road in vain, every step counts. In those days of repetition, those difficult years, every step I took counted, and every step was precipitated in my words and thoughts. Now, my article publishing level has been continuously improved, and my membership level has also been improved to varying degrees. I joined the Nanjing Writers Association from Qixia District, and then joined the Jiangsu Writers Association. I have made more literati and poets, and under the guidance and encouragement of teachers, my mood is becoming more and more cheerful.

Now, this girl who started from her hometown and pursued her literary dream has spent more than 20 years in Nanjing, the provincial capital. People often say that the stage is as big as the heart. No matter how difficult the road is, I am still supported by my literary dream. It makes me not confused when I am sleepy, not flustered when I am in a hurry, not impetuous when I am noisy, and not numb when I am quiet. See the essence of life clearly, but still love life deeply and never give up.

In spring, I stood by the Yangtze River, staring at the red and white shipping lighthouse and the ships crossing the river, stupefied. Aren't we just ships sailing in the river of life? Whenever we are caught in the fog and illuminated by the beacon of literature from a distance, our hearts will never lose their way and continue to move in the right direction.