Last summer vacation, I was bored looking at the tweets of the official WeChat account that I had saved for a long time, when I received a short message from Wen Jing. I don't remember the specific content, but I think the title and writing are very interesting. That was the first time I heard of "Give you a bullet".

After a lapse of half a year, Dali shared a paragraph in the circle of friends that made me very "calling". Baidu, this is a fragment of Liu Yu's proposal, which is an article in "Send You a Bullet":

Perhaps this little word hit home exactly what I felt at that time, so that I never felt that any expression could be more infectious than it. The desire to learn has never been so strong, so I quickly booked one online.

Later, I learned that Liu Yu was a professor in Tsinghua University, and her book Douban scored as high as 8.6.

I started with "Give You a Bullet" for the sake of "proposal", but I didn't do enough work before buying the book, which led to the second edition in my hand, and the article "Proposal" was deleted. Fortunately, I can still find this article online and read it many times as I wish.

In fact, every article of hers is worth reading. After reading it, I found that some incisive and insightful comments I saw on Zhihu were actually quotes from Liu Yuwen. This unexpected discovery just reflects the subtlety of her language.

02

Liu Yu wrote in the postscript:

Yes, I am the one who can't even get two points in the blank of Chinese ancient poetry in the college entrance examination, the one who can't even recite a complete ancient poetry in the postgraduate entrance examination and re-examination, and the one who is so poor in mathematics that he is naked and sarcastic with 68 points in the college entrance examination.

Imagine that I can't win an ancient poem and solve an arithmetic problem at such a critical node and under such high pressure. What else can I do? It's not that I don't care, but that I really can't remember and really can't learn. This kind of person really exists in the world, and she is not lying.

People keep asking, "Then how did you get into college?" I can only say simply, "It's all luck." In fact, my interest in calligraphy and literature and history has supported my whole liberal arts career. Or, I'm just good at exams.

After all, the scores of subjective knowledge in liberal arts papers are huge, and I am allowed to make up stories in Kan Kan. In addition, my handsome handwriting gave me a lot of points, and I was lucky enough to be admitted.

Perhaps it was that unsatisfactory memory that contributed to her writing and language expression. Our greatest similarity is probably the same insensitivity to memory symbols. Loyalty and love record fleeting inspiration and mixed life through words.

I have kept the habit of keeping a diary for many years. Perhaps it has something to do with my mild autism, and there are very few friends who contact me now. Unwilling to open your heart, unwilling to speak your mind, open it all, and stuff all the password books into a thick diary.

Or writing, to some extent, is a substitute for diary. I am glad that there are not many acquaintances here, and I am glad that those friends who are familiar with me have not left me after finding emotional clues in my words.

Facing the life in the sea of Wang Yang, writing is like a shell on the beach. After several tides, people still have a chance to pick up the past and find the traces left by life. It is writing that has made Liu Yu such a "small personal history museum", made her a writer other than a professor in colleges and universities, and made her well known to everyone.

Of course, I think becoming a writer is not her original intention, but the additional effect brought by her habit of recording life and expressing emotions in words for many years. Maybe she doesn't like the name "writer". After all, one more identity is one more fetter.

In any case, I believe that those words with personal imprint and full of personality are originally written for themselves and have nothing to do with utility. Moreover, I dare to guess that she has many "diaries" besides that.

Because a woman with a deep soul can't control her expressed desire at all. Those who are inconvenient to make public because of public opinion and privacy may be hidden in her little world.

03

We all have the same "mental illness" as Liu Yu. Life is always unsatisfactory, and most people indulge in their own pessimism, or moan or be unhappy. However, Liu Yu can turn it into great productivity, thus inspiring himself and in turn answering questions for the people around him.

Perhaps this is the reason why her "Send You a Bullet" is highly praised by students who are in trouble and confused.

Since the publication of Bullets, she has never opened the book, Liu Yu said frankly. The reader's enthusiasm is completely inversely proportional to her confidence in her writing: "So far, every book of my own seems to only deepen my shame, as if every publication is a blasphemy against something sacred."

I can really feel her feelings when she says this. Yes, although I have never been close to the word writer, I love writing. As for me, I don't want to read those words any more. I will be disappointed, ashamed, and can't help laughing at my ignorant self.

Liu Yu's frankness lies in her ability to face up to her own growth, as well as the deviations and fallacies in her growth. She bluntly said that she would never write a book about bullets in the future. Maybe, as she said, if she writes again, she won't use the same style of writing, and the things she pays attention to, the content she writes and the theme she writes are different from those at that time.

It's just a momentary feeling.

As an older young woman, I really felt the same way with her. So, sometimes I can even feel the sadness flowing in her cheerful pen. This feeling makes people feel distressed, because when I see her, I also see myself.

It is said to be a collection of essays, but the bullets are mixed with lengthy but never boring comments. Liu Yu's comments are long or short, eloquent or plummeting. This writing is particularly obvious at the end of many articles:

The long ending all reflects her psychological course of self-salvation after contradiction and confusion. A short and sudden stop will make a harsh and terrible sound. This suppression of self-emotion actually makes people feel a little distressed.

It is because of this empathy that I can sort out her emotions well. Liu Yu always has endless topics and new things, and can always explain these phenomena and existence with the most insightful analysis. Her doubts gave birth to her thirst for knowledge, which in turn enriched herself.

After all, Liu Yu is a social science worker. Some of her political discourses are fully combined with life, mixed with some personal thoughts, humorous, philosophical and quite literary. Politics has become vivid and sexy in her works.

My interest and enthusiasm for politics have long since disappeared with different forms of political examinations at all ages. However, reading her Political Papers is unexpectedly interesting, and it is often associated with movies, and the picture is simply wonderful.

04

Many times we lack the courage to face our hearts, and Liu Yu did. She doesn't know, and she can't believe it. It is the words she wrote casually that comfort people and make them face up to their anxiety, mania, depression, delusion and pessimism ... The confidence and encouragement brought by those articles that she thinks are "unwritten" are hard to measure by value.

At the very least, after reading Bullets, you will think: No matter how high your educational background and excellent conditions are, you will feel inferior, lonely and have worldly desires. Therefore, in the vanity fair of youth, you are no longer alone.

The breadth of life and the depth of thought are vividly reflected in this unmarried female postdoctoral fellow who is over 30 years old.

I think, if these inner thoughts and unpredictable emotions can be turned into accurate written descriptions and presented to the reader, then she must have read an amazing number of books, must have been exploring in ignorance and fearlessness at the beginning of human birth, and must be tearing everything apart to find the answer.

Sometimes I wonder if God secretly gave her a portable microscope when she was born.

Her writing is as clean, beautiful, wise and profound as the old photo on the last page. I admire this knowledgeable and talented woman, and at the same time, I can more or less appreciate the loneliness of living in a foreign country all the year round and the loneliness and courage of facing the whole world alone.

The homesickness of studying abroad is materialized into a mouth-watering pig head in the window, which is her most simple and natural emotional expression. The pastime of five older female doctors in nightclubs is not a kind of warmth. "May you grow up slowly" is written for your daughter Xiao Bugu, but it is actually written for yourself. ...

From Liu Yu's article, I saw a colorful ocean-going country, and there was another unknown side, an ordinary and real person who had lost his label and glory.

Perhaps what moved me most was her posture of walking independently in her own way in the vast universe and the cycle of time and space.

A person who never faces the world with excessive qualifications and arrogance;

A person who never stops bringing goodwill, joy and emotion to others;

A person who always maintains a humble attitude and tirelessly seeks up and down;

A person who constantly examines himself and turns his doubts, criticisms and growing pains about himself and social existence into words.

Teach me how to dislike her.