The method of my composition is to write a standard argumentative essay or narrative at ordinary times. You must get more than 55 points, so that your future composition can reach 55 to 60 points. If I just tell you the problem of this article and you haven't changed anything, then my guidance will be ruined. Therefore, although I have carefully revised this article, I still want to ask the author to write another article, change examples, set my point of view, and revise it according to my requirements, reaching 55-60 points.
If you write every composition according to the requirement of 55 -60 points, will your college entrance examination score be low?
A good article requires three things: accurate interpretation, rich content and beautiful language.
Requirements: I rewrote a copy for you. Please rewrite the second one according to the structure of the first one. Write the first article again and reuse the new materials.
Note: I put bold words in brackets in the article.
Strengthen your ideals and be brave in taking responsibility (good topic)
Ideals and responsibilities are inseparable. What a nation needs to stand on the top of the world is this spirit of firm ideals and responsibilities. Otherwise, it will be difficult for this nation to stand above other countries and will eventually be ravaged by other countries. I am thinking, is it necessary to have this spirit to strengthen ourselves, develop the country and change the world?
The first paragraph is too long, so it's better to split it in two. The language in this paragraph is not very beautiful. Moreover, the argument is not very clear, and the point of view seems to be "ideal and responsibility." Another problem is that the composition of materials must generally refer to materials, otherwise no points will be deducted. To put ideas in the most prominent position, that is, at the end of a paragraph, important keywords can be presented with dashes. I wrote a passage:
Zhuangzi said, "Peng moved to Nanming, and the water hit three thousand Li, and the climber was nine Wan Li." Kunpeng spreads his wings and seagulls gather in the sky. It is precisely because it has withstood the wind and rain and the encounter that it flies and hangs like wings.
As Dr. Sun Yat-sen, the father of our country, said, "Only our generation takes it as its responsibility to undertake the reform and development of China. Although the rock is rotten and the sea is dry, this body still exists, and this heart will not die. " Don't be discouraged by failure, and don't shrink from difficulties. The land is destroyed and people are killed. Can we not clench our fists? When people draw charcoal, can you despise hesitation and cowardice without shouting or grabbing? Only with your responsibility, your ideal, your ambition to support, the courage to take responsibility, the courage to take responsibility. )
Of course, the answer is yes. This sentence can't be put here. If you want to use it, put it in the previous paragraph. This reminds people of Dr. Sun Yat-sen, the pioneer of China Revolution. He is the founder of China Kuomintang and an advocate of the Three People's Principles. When the people of China were plunged into the endless abyss, he carried the banner of completely opposing feudalism for the first time and slogan "Make peace and end the monarchy". Subsequently, the China League was established and the Republic of China was established, completely overthrowing the feudal monarchy that existed for more than 2,000 years. The banner he set up is also the firm spirit of China, the future revolutionaries, and has dealt a blow to the responsibility of "rejuvenating China" under the control of bureaucracy and imperialism.
(This is the paragraph of point. But literary talent, details and sentence patterns are not enough. I wrote a passage:
Isn't it a sincere awakening and daring to take responsibility? How did Sun Yat-sen take responsibility for the weak country, the poor and the closed country? Although he is small, he is determined to go forward. "I will go forward bravely, and the more frustrated I am, the more persistent I will be." Although his revolution was full of twists and turns, he was sure that "the revolution has not been successful, and comrades still need to work hard." Why does he have to bear the responsibility himself? Why did he struggle all his life and end up like this? That is the responsibility and responsibility that sprouted from his heart. The structure of this paragraph is: viewpoint, example, analysis and deduction.
It is precisely because of Sun Yat-sen and other revolutionaries that the people of China can make enemies in the future, and it is precisely because of this kind of person who combines ideals and responsibilities that China will be so brilliant now!
I wrote a passage: when the dawn of democracy shines on the earth, when the elements of freedom guard the East, and the Chinese stand tall, don't forget the painstaking efforts of Dr. Sun Yat-sen. During the transition period, we should summarize, use sentence patterns, and take responsibility for the topic. )
(There is still a section of "point" or "face" missing, forming the full-text structure of "point face", "point face" or "point face". )
If there is no such spirit, how can there be Du Fu's "epic" of "making fame and fortune like clouds", which is not afraid of powerful people and attacks the darkness of society? Lincoln, known as the "great liberator", faced with repeated failures and objections, how to make the right choice? I can't forget nightingale's willingness to refuse to be a noble and choose to be a nurse. Laughed at by the so-called upper class. I can't forget her holding a kerosene lamp and walking through the dim light to take care of the injured soldiers. If our world does not have this ideal of being unaffected by the environment, the burden of not taking responsibility will become vulnerable. It is precisely because these people with ideals and ambitions no longer shrink from difficulties and do not shirk their burdens that our world will go further and further on the bright track.
This paragraph is an example of a face, which is better. However, the examples are not arranged neatly enough, and sentence patterns should be used, such as "unforgettable, unforgettable, unforgettable" and other combinations. )
Today's world is a pluralistic one, and the links between countries are getting closer and closer, and there will be more and more contradictions. What we have to do is to have clear goals, firm ideals, step by step, and shoulder the heavy burden of rejuvenating the country.
This paragraph aims to solve the problem of why we should take responsibility, rather than preaching a big lesson. You can combine the current reality and contact yourself to write. I wrote a passage:
Facing dyed steamed bread, poison capsules, poisoned milk powder, clenbuterol and so on. In the face of Xiaoyueyue incident, how should our generation take responsibility? When you reach out your hands, you fill a sky; You give someone a smile, the more beautiful you are. Isn't the most beautiful teacher Zhang Lili and the most beautiful driver Wu Bin examples? Take responsibility as a person. )
As Sun Yat-sen said, "Only our generation is committed to the reform and development of China. Although the rocks are rotten and the sea is dry, this body is still there and this heart will not die. We can neither lose heart because of failure, nor shrink back because of difficulties. Concentrate, advance vigorously, and cope with the trend of world progress. It is in line with the principle of natural good and evil, and there will be a final day of success. " Therefore, in order to succeed, we must take the development of the country as our own responsibility and achieve the spirit of being physically and mentally disabled in difficulties. We must have clear goals, so as to conform to the trend of international development and finally achieve success.
The ending is too long. No literary talent, too general. It's best to quote a famous saying here, buckle your point of view, repeat your point of view, end it simply and be literary. I wrote a passage:
Tagore said: "All the great sports in the world are related to some great ideal." A person, a person with beautiful ideals, must be a responsible person. In order to bear this body, this heart will not die. )
Please follow the guidance of the last article, find out the following questions, and revise them again, so as to achieve more than 55 points.
The world needs you.
Love is what the world needs most. Romain rolland said, "Love is the flame of life. Without it, everything will become dark "; Tagore said, "Love is a full life, just like a cup full of wine"; Moliere said, "Love is a great teacher who teaches us to turn over a new leaf".
Love can save people from pain. Love can be seen everywhere in our lives. It is hard for us to imagine what the world would be like without love, just like living in hell.
Because the world is full of love, the day after the Wenchuan earthquake, the search and rescue team saw her in the ruins of Beichuan County: she lay motionless in the ruins. Through the cracks in the pile of reinforced concrete, people can see her falling posture, kneeling on her knees, crawling forward with her whole upper body and supporting her body with her hands. Some people bow down like the ancients, but her body is deformed and looks terrible. Rescuers confirmed that she was dead, but the rescue captain found under her: "There is a child, still alive!" " "The ruins were cleared away, and a small red quilt with yellow flowers appeared below her, wrapped in a baby about three or four months old. Because of his mother's protection, he was unhurt and fell asleep quietly when he was taken out. When the accompanying doctor untied the quilt and prepared to do some tests, he found a mobile phone stuffed in the quilt. The mobile phone screen says: "Dear Baby, if you can live, you must remember that I love you"! The doctor who was used to seeing where you were going shed tears. The mobile phone passed silently in the crowd, and everyone who saw the text message was sobbing in a low voice. Yes, this is a mother who holds up a sky for her children with love, leaving her children with hope of life like an eagle.
It is in this loving world that our life is so beautiful. But what would the world be like without love?
If there is no love, just like Kafka's real life at the bottom of British society, enduring hunger, poverty and humiliation, life will be a tragedy; If there is no love, it is like hell without light. People are enduring the devil's drive but can't resist it. Without love, Helen Keller will not become positive and optimistic, nor will she succeed. . . . . . Please remember, in this world, we can have no money, beautiful clothes and comfortable houses. However, the last thing we need is love.
Yes, what the world needs most is love. Motherly love, father love, friend love, lover love. Without love, we are lonely, and we will run counter to this world. Without love, we will go to extremes, without love. . . . . . We dare not imagine how society would develop without love, and people would kill each other. However, because of love, the world becomes warm. Yes, the world needs you-love.