L Introduction: Introduction of this issue of Bear Psychology: Psychological analysis of "masculinity": We need children not only to be obedient, but also to be brave.

What is "masculinity"? Personally, it is fearless courage. How to make children masculine, we need to let children face their own growth bravely. How to make children bravely face their own growth is not to let us grow instead of children.

This issue of Bear Psychology will introduce naturalistic educational thoughts by combining life scenes and historical figures. I hope that the flowers of the motherland can be illuminated by the sun, and that the saplings of the motherland can grow into towering trees. Thanks for reading and sharing. My writing inspiration is not from narcissism, but from the wisdom collision and soul dialogue with everyone.

L McDonald's father-son dialogue

I heard the best father-son conversation I have ever heard in McDonald's this morning.

"We won't eat hamburgers today. Can we have a bigger whole meal?"

"yes."

"Do you want bacon or something?"

"I eat this."

"What do you drink? Soymilk or red soy milk. "

"I want to drink chocolate."

"Then you have nothing to drink?"

"I want to order another cup of coffee."

"What do you want to do recently?"

"…"

"Will you take your mother with you next time?"

I'm glad to hear the most equal and loving breakfast chat I've ever heard at breakfast. Of course, they are still eating breakfast slowly next to me, and for them, a beautiful day has begun again. For me as a writer, a beautiful day has also begun.

What do you want to eat? Is this ok?

What is a "traffic light" with three eyes and one leg?

Ha ha ha, you are so funny.

After listening to the whole father-son conversation, I really want to tell this young father that your son will be excellent in the future, because you are such an excellent father. Excellence doesn't mean how good you are in the exam or how much talent you have.

It is excellent that you can communicate so equally and lovingly.

Dialogue with thoughts and attitudes is also the success of education.

backtonature

Educator Rousseau mentioned the naturalistic educational thought in Emile, and thought that people are kind and free.

He believes that education has three sources, from nature, environment and education. Children's education needs to meet the needs of natural development, and from the perspective of children's age characteristics, children can't be forced to keep learning like hard labor.

Education needs to respect everyone's nature and innate ability, and Rousseau also opposes taking utilitarianism as the core of education and developing curiosity and rational thinking ability.

What is utilitarian education? You think a child's innovative ability will contribute to his future work. This is called utilitarianism.

What is naturalistic education? The children are curious about everything around them. You are willing to listen to his thoughts and ask him about his preference for relevant training. We let children play the piano not because we think it is good, but because children really like playing the piano.

British educator Russell realized the intrinsic value of children before adulthood. Russell advocates that adults listen to their children's opinions, rather than imposing their own ideas on them. Children are not immature adults, and childhood has its intrinsic value.

Russell even criticized the idea of educational preparation, thinking that if adults only regard children as future adults, this is in itself a denial of children. Children are also a part of human growth, and it is a very important part.

So we can see that children are often copies of their parents in real life. Why is there such a fate coupling, in a word-you have cultivated another yourself.

Children's psychological problems in the process of growing up are mostly caused by the inconsistency between their own ideas and those of their parents. This kind of inner conflict can easily become the shadow of childhood and affect their lives. Therefore, for the sake of children, listen more, discuss more, ignore less and give orders less.

Here I want to talk mainly about the education of school-age children aged six to twelve.

This stage mainly affects children's sense of inferiority. As a result of starting education at school, whether children can finish their studies determines the generation of children's self-confidence and inferiority complex. Therefore, we need to give our children more understanding and support.

The competitive pressure of the school is very great. If parents continue to put pressure on their children, they are likely to be overloaded.

In this way, children may have a strong sense of frustration, which will affect their future life courage and acceptance of setbacks.

Why is childhood important? Because your character began in childhood. If parents don't know how to let their children take responsibility, then children may be able to take on more responsibilities when they grow up. There are two well-known stories here, one is "Sima Guang smashed a jar" and the other is "Kong Rong Li Rang". What happened to two children with good personalities?

L Sima Guang smashed the jar-brave children became politicians in the Northern Song Dynasty.

One day, Sima Guang and his friends were playing in the backyard. At this time, a child climbed into the vat and fell into the water.

When other children saw this scene, they all ran away, but Sima Guang used his quick wits to quickly pick up a big stone from his side and hit it hard at the water tank. The water gushed out and the child was saved.

Besides smashing cans, Sima Guang also caught a snake. /kloc-When he was 0/2 years old, Sima Guang went to Sichuan with his father and met a python on the plank road. Sima Guang took his time and stabbed the python's tail with his sword. The python fell off the plank road in pain.

Sima Guang was honest and modest all his life, and he worked hard and wrote many books. He assisted Renzong, Yingzong, Zongshen and Zhezong successively, opposed Wang Anshi's political reform, presided over the compilation of Zi Tongzhi Jian, the largest chronicle in China, and also had certain attainments in literature and calligraphy, and was praised as a model of Confucianism.

L Kong Rong made Li, a loving child, a writer in the Eastern Han Dynasty.

It is said that when Kong Rong was four years old, he ate pears with his brother, but he always ate the smallest pear. His father asked him strangely, and he replied, "I am a child, so I should take the small one."

Except when Kong Rong made friends with Hengli, Mi Heng was under twenty years old, and Kong Rong was fifty years old. It is precisely because Kong Rong values the talents in Mihengli that he is willing to forget his friends. Later, "Forgetting the turn of the year" became an idiom, referring to making friends regardless of age.

Kong Rong was a famous Confucian in the late Eastern Han Dynasty, and was listed as the "Seven Scholars of Jian 'an". Kong Rong, on the other hand, is brilliant, although he is conscious and thoughtful. However, because of his straightforward personality, there was not much discussion about politics in his works. At the age of 56, he was executed by Cao Cao. However, Kong Rong's personality and thoughts had an impact on later generations. Even during the Sui and Tang Dynasties, his works against corporal punishment were still used as arguments to discuss imperial policies.

Can children still smash cans in today's society? No, but children will call other adults for help, which can avoid being a responsible person or a good person to a greater extent.

Will children still let pears in today's society? No, but the child recalled that I might need to find more pears so that I wouldn't go hungry. I don't want to discuss who is right and who is wrong here.

Different times, different cultures. But what I want to emphasize is that if you don't give up your courage, you won't be able to maintain your independence from others and keep your faith in life when you grow up.

Don't say that children may not be confident. Parents' training methods also create children's self-confidence. What kind of training methods make children confident? It is the environment.

If children don't grow up in an absolutely free, equal and kind environment, it's hard to believe that they can succeed. Usually, in children's education, we have two wrong behaviors that lead to children's inferiority, inequality and lack of love.

First, parents should not treat their children as "people" in the parent-child relationship.

Parents often make the mistake of calling themselves elders in front of their children, belittling a child at will, or encouraging or criticizing according to whether the child's performance meets their expectations.

They think that the child is a piece of meat falling from themselves and they have the right to intervene. It's all for the good of the children. Whether it is beating or scolding, children are like their own vassals, and they have no right to refute and sayno. In fact, it is also the narcissism of parents, because parents subconsciously feel that they are right and good.

Second, in the parent-child relationship, parents have no "love" for their children.

People are emotional animals. We can see that people have a sense of trust and distrust from birth, and inferiority arises from school age, that is, primary school.

Parents need to regulate their own behavior, because from the beginning of the formation of children's independent consciousness, adults' words and deeds will leave an impression on their children's psychology. However, if the child's exploration in the formative period is blocked, some emotions will stop at that stage. For example, people who lack love when they are young will still be nervous or insecure when they grow up.

The reason why we spend all our money and energy on our children is because children are our future, our hope and the hope of our motherland.

Children themselves are a kind of hope, and we should not impose our thoughts or our ideals on them. We should let children develop freely, so that there will be children who are more willing to grow up, because only children who can make their own decisions in the future will really be willing to work hard for a better life.

Otherwise, who wants to try a life that they can't control? This sentence itself requires teenagers to be strong. What is strong is that they are not weak, afraid, self-deprecating and coy. The closest word is "masculinity".

Recently, the Ministry of Education submitted the Proposal on Preventing Feminization of Boys and Teenagers to CPPCC members, and made a special reply. We will strengthen the allocation of physical education teachers, strengthen the top-level design of school physical education system, carry out health education in depth, and strengthen the mental health of teenagers, thus achieving the goal of increasing boys' "masculinity".

I personally appreciate the improvement of the Ministry of Education, because we need to pay attention to children's development from any angle, physically or psychologically. Personally, masculinity does not mean that women's status is low, but highlights the importance of being a man, that is, responsibility and responsibility, courage and courage.

This is the real rigidity, and this rigidity is needed by both men and women. Teenagers, especially boys and teenagers, should pay more attention to it, because many boys and teenagers actually have no problem with their intelligence when they grow up, but they just lack a spirit and character.

We don't lack talents, what we lack is how to make talents play a role, which requires the "masculinity" of talents themselves.

We let teenagers have "masculinity", in fact, it is to make teenagers brave, and the premise of bravery is not inferiority and dependence. So we need to really let the children find themselves.

In fact, the formation of self is more in childhood, but due to the interference and obstruction of parents, children may never get out of the shadow, which is what we call the pain of being born in a family in psychology.

We still don't want to come from a family, but when we are really cultivating the next generation, we will unconsciously step into the strange circle of our parents.

The most terrible idea is that if I have a child in the future, I will not let him do anything, because I was treated like this by my parents before.

Think about it, this sentence is also quite scary. A child can't be valued in childhood, can't have equal opportunities for communication, and certainly won't have a more sound personality. We need children not only to be obedient, but also to be brave. Otherwise, how can they face this complicated world and revitalize our country when they grow up?