Abstract: At present, China has entered an aging society. Data show that by 2020, the elderly population in China will exceed 200 million. And the number of people is increasing every year, and there are more and more social problems related to aging. Especially for economically underdeveloped areas, the lack of companionship among the elderly has become the normal state of society. Although people's living conditions have improved with the economic development, due to the different economic development trends in different regions, young people in economically backward areas, especially after the implementation of the urbanization construction policy in China, have mostly moved from backward areas to cities and towns to seek opportunities for life and career development in more developed places. External factors and personal needs lead to the long-term lack of companionship and care for the elderly in most families. Starting from the current situation of the lack of companionship and care for the elderly, this paper deeply analyzes the reasons for the lack of companionship for the elderly, finds out the main problems of the lack of companionship for the elderly in contemporary society, and gives corresponding solutions to the existing problems.

Keywords: pension; Accompany; relationship

introduce

(A) Research background and significance

1. Research background

By the end of June 5438 +2020 10, the proportion of people over 60 in China will rise to 30%. Driven by the aging problem, social structure, social relations and family relations will form a brand-new situation. The increase of the elderly population will also bring more problems to the society, and will also affect the happiness of the whole family, especially the lack of companionship of the elderly, which is related to family harmony and promotes good family relations. However, since the implementation of family planning in China, the only child has become the norm in every family. Therefore, for young people, marriage may face the problem of providing for the elderly. On the one hand, there are not many job opportunities in the towns where they live, and they need to leave their hometown to seek career development opportunities in other places. On the other hand, social reasons force people to go to developed places in industrialized cities. So the old people are in a state of lack of companionship for a long time. The problem of aging is imminent, but all aspects of human civilization are still stuck in the traditional mindset of young society, and they are almost unprepared for the arrival and challenges of an aging society.

2. Research significance

It is of great reference significance for individuals to understand and care for the elderly by deeply exploring and excavating the present situation of the lack of companionship of the elderly, digging out the main problems behind the present situation, and analyzing the root causes of the corresponding problems, and seeking ways to balance personal development and family harmony in the current society.

(B) Research methods and discussion content

1. Literature review research methods

The research of this paper can not be separated from consulting a large number of documents, and put forward my own views by summarizing and combing the existing documents of domestic scholars on the social problems of the elderly. Browse related websites, learn necessary videos, and consult relevant materials. Through these early efforts, we can better understand the ideas of experts and scholars, lay a solid foundation for future writing, and combine personal growth experience and scientific case analysis to make a reasonable discussion on the research topic.

2. Discussion content

This paper is divided into four chapters: the first chapter discusses the background and significance of the topic, research content and research methods; The second chapter introduces the social status quo of the lack of companionship of the elderly; The third chapter discusses the main problems of the lack of companionship of the elderly; The fourth chapter puts forward the improved methods and strategies for the main problems.

Second, the analysis of the current situation of the lack of companionship of the elderly in society.

With the rapid development of Internet, the rapid development of science and technology not only liberated our productive forces, but also accelerated the development of social economy. At the same time, the development of high technology has also changed our way of life and brought us a lot of convenience, especially in the communication between parents. In the past, the communication mode commonly used by the older generation was wired telephone. At present, you can generally participate in chatting with the elderly through WeChat video chat and QQ video. At the same time, the benefits of high technology are cost reduction, and voice chat and video chat have also broken through the limitations of time and space. But from another angle, it is precisely because of the convenience of science and technology that people meet the elderly at home less often and spend less time with them, while parents know that you are busy and don't want to bother you, or even tell you when you are sick. When I miss you, I should pick up my mobile phone and video chat with you at the right time. Because I am too busy, I have no time to spend with my boss, my clients and my friends, but I have no time to spend with my parents.

Nowadays, the pressure of life in the city is very great, and most families belong to one-child families, which means that children will face the problem of providing for the elderly after marriage. At the same time, due to the promotion of the city, young people need to take care of their work and children while standing in the city. This shows the great pressure of contemporary young people. Even though nursing homes have become a trend of social development, family pension is still the mainstream of society, because in the traditional concept of China people, living with children is the traditional form of our country. Even if parents take the initiative to go to a nursing home, how to find a suitable nursing home is still a problem.

Third, the main reasons for the lack of companionship of the elderly

Due to the increasingly aging population in China, empty nesters have become a major social problem in recent years. The general lack of children's company among the elderly has become a brand-new social phenomenon in the new era. According to the data survey, nearly 50% of the elderly believe that the lack of children's companionship in the process of providing for the elderly is the biggest problem. To sum up, people's material life has been satisfied at present, so the psychological needs of the elderly for family happiness are more inclined to their own psychological needs, especially in good families, the elderly have fixed living habits and are used to working hard. However, due to the work pressure, lifestyle and age differences of contemporary young people, the elderly lack companionship. According to the current situation, it can be seen that the lack of companionship of elderly children mainly exists in the following three aspects:

(A) the empty nest of family structure is serious and the mobility is too large.

Most of the old people in current society were born in 1930s, 40s and 1950s, when the education coverage was generally low and people's material life was generally at a low level. Most old people's thoughts are influenced by traditional ideas. Adhering to the mentality of "working hard and saving money", the old people reduce the burden for their children, and even when they are old, they will try their best to contribute more to their children. On the other hand, children seem to have ". Old people don't enjoy the support of their children very much, and it is normal to lack companionship. Especially due to the economic operation mode of "get rich first and then get rich", the economic development of all parts of the country is in a serious unbalanced state. The Shenzhen Special Economic Zone, Zhuhai Special Economic Zone and Shantou Special Economic Zone, and the Xiamen Special Economic Zone, Hainan Special Economic Zone, Kashgar Special Economic Zone and Khorgos Special Economic Zone in Fujian have become the main places for people to seek career development and survival. According to relevant data, there are10 million migrant workers in Shenzhen alone every year. With the acceleration of urbanization in China, urban and rural development has retained some local migrant workers, but in essence, the floating population in China is still the mainstream trend. The main reason is that in the process of China's transformation from an agricultural country to an industrial country, many people who used to farm at home could not continue to rely on agriculture to survive, so they went to work in the city in this process and sought to develop into the only choice for rural youth. Another point is that young people in relatively backward areas are also concentrated in moving to economically developed cities to seek better development opportunities. This social situation has led to the hollowing out of the family, which is one of the reasons why the elderly lack the companionship of their children all the year round.

(2) There is a generation gap between the elderly and their children.

Judging from the relationship between children and the elderly in the family, the generation gap is the inevitable result of the social process. First of all, from the background of the times, contemporary people were born in the 1930s, 40s and 1950s. They were born in a very chaotic period in China, and their education, environment, background and life experience are completely different from those in the Internet age. On the one hand, in the Internet age, people have faster and more access to information, and people are getting higher and higher education. Moreover, in peacetime, the ways of work and employment are completely different, which brings differences in values, world outlook and outlook on life. Because of these differences, there will often be huge communication barriers between children and the elderly, leading to certain misunderstandings and family conflicts. The tension between children and the elderly leads to their reluctance to spend more time with the elderly, to listen to the elderly patiently and to take care of them.

There are also many times when parents and children have different positions, so the starting point of looking at the problem is completely different. Especially as a child, without enough life experience, he may be more subjective and one-sided, and often be particularly self-righteous and always think that his own is right, which leads to some situations where he does not understand each other. Only when we look at things from each other's standpoint can we better understand each other's feelings. To a certain extent, parents work too hard for their children to live a better life, while children ignore their parents' good intentions in the process of enjoying, and may be more concerned about everything they face. Because I don't have enough life experience, I think more about myself, which leads to what many people call selfishness. In this case, parents need to let their children know more about themselves, and children should share the pressure with their parents in time, so that children can live a better life.

No matter how fast the pace of life is, no matter how stressful life and work are, you should take some time to get along when necessary. For a better life result, it is not easy to eat together. This is not the original intention of the struggle. If a family works together, they will have the same sense of accomplishment and values, and they will be better connected. In fact, in many cases, the generation gap between parents and children does not mean which side is wrong, but their own ideas are different, and their practices may even be different. After all, everyone is an independent individual. At this time, mutual understanding and understanding can deepen each other's feelings, narrow each other's distance, and avoid a big generation gap between them, which is more conducive to family harmony.

(c) The relationship between children and the elderly is indifferent

In the new era, the relationship between the elderly and the younger generation in the family is generally problematic, and the state behind the problem is the indifference of human relations. This indifferent relationship is caused by the following three factors: first, the values of children and the elderly are very different. Young children generally think that their parents are behind the times, dislike their parents being dull, dislike their parents being unable to keep up with the trend of the times, do not know the direction of the times, do not know the hobbies of young people, do not know how to adapt, and often nag. It can be said that this is one of the problems that every family may encounter. Some families can handle these differences of values well, but some families will intensify these contradictions, which will greatly damage the relationship between the old and the young, hurt each other's feelings, and finally make everyone unhappy. Second, the energy left by the elderly to their children is very limited. When they are young, they need to spend more energy to earn money to support their families because of the difficult conditions. As a result, they are in a state of making money continuously most of the time, which directly leads to their lack of contact with their children and the indifference between human feelings. On the other hand, in family education, the older generation is apt to be mean and beat and scold, which leads to the situation that children hold a grudge against them when they grow up.

It is not easy and difficult for the contemporary elderly generation to start a business. All this we have worked so hard for has finally stabilized, but in the end it has become that you have no feelings for your parents. There is no affection between husband and wife, but there is no affection for parents. As children, when we were born, we were doomed to owe something to our parents. Visiting parents is a child's obligation and responsibility, not a mere formality. Although "visit home often" has long been written into the law on the protection of the rights and interests of the elderly, there are still many problems in the relationship between the elderly and their children.

From the above introduction, we can see that the indifference between the elderly and their children is widespread at present, which is caused by social reasons, family reasons and different times and backgrounds. Everyone will get old, so as a young man, it is very meaningful for the elderly to know what they need most in their later years.

Fourth, the elderly lack the solution of companionship.

(A) moral guidance, all virtues and filial piety first.

The key to solving the problem of the lack of companionship of the elderly lies in how to make people spontaneously travel the traditional moral concept of "putting all virtues and filial piety first". Only by fundamentally establishing the moral concept of filial piety with all virtues can people consciously perform filial piety and spend more time with the elderly. Therefore, filial piety is the foundation of people, and people should not forget their roots. Meanwhile, filial piety is the foundation of virtue. We often say that a person's virtue of "being virtuous and respectable" comes from filial piety. In order to make people form the moral concept of putting all virtues and filial piety first, we can start from the following three aspects: first, add the moral concept of putting all virtues and filial piety first to the ideological and moral courses in primary and secondary schools, and establish the basic concept of filial piety from an early age, so that people can have a clearer understanding of filial piety and deepen their understanding of it; The second is family education. Parents in the family need to set a good example for their children. On the one hand, they should educate the next generation how to be filial, on the other hand, they should adopt the way of teaching by example and spend more time with their children around the elderly. The third is to balance the expenditure of family income. Contemporary parents, in particular, are especially willing to spend money to send their children to aristocratic kindergartens, but their concern for the elderly is dwarfed. They don't want to spend money for the elderly, and they don't want to spend more patience with them. Old people also put a lot of energy into helping you grow. Filial piety culture should be passed down and is worth promoting and guiding. Let children start from themselves and practice the culture of filial piety.

Give more patience and solve the generation gap problem.

The generation gap between the family and the elderly is one of the key problems to solve the lack of companionship for the elderly, which can be solved from the following three aspects:

First of all, you should have more patience. For the elderly, because of their long-term single lifestyle, their spiritual life is in a relatively poor state for a long time. When they see their children, they may be too nagging. When expressing their opinions on things, it is often at this time that adults and children at home do not control their emotions well, show impatience and feel that the elderly are nosy. It is easy to cause tension. As a younger generation, we need to give more tolerance and patience to the elderly.

Secondly, change yourself and listen to the old people. In dealing with the elderly, we need to listen patiently, listen to the real needs of the elderly and try to avoid quarreling with them. Because quarreling will only make the relationship between children and the elderly more and more indifferent.

Once again, learn to wait. When the young tree grows up, let yourself wait patiently for the sound of flowers. For the elderly, they have mature values, world outlook and outlook on life, and have their own independent ideas about things. What people need to do is how to learn these methods better and let themselves grow up, instead of blindly turning a blind eye to these opinions or treating them coldly. We should take care of the hearts of the elderly and respect their opinions.

Fourth, give the elderly enough respect. Including respecting the different lifestyles of the elderly, treating things differently and looking at the world differently, we should take these differences as a window to see the world and try our best to discover the beauty of this world. Respect his thoughts and personality, and respect his choice. What we have to do is to give us wise advice like an experienced old friend. When there are differences, convince people calmly and communicate patiently.

(C) improve the social security system of urban-rural integration

Another problem existing in the elderly in the new era is that the elderly have no economic income problem. Perfecting the social security system of urban-rural integration can help the elderly to some extent. At present, most rural families in China are in an empty nest structure, the old-age security for the elderly is weakening, and there is also a lack of children's companionship.

(4) Enhance the happiness of empty nesters and visit them often.

Although the Internet era has brought convenience to people's communication, it has also opened a gap between children and the elderly. Contemporary people believe that even if you accompany the elderly through video chat, this kind of companionship and companionship at home is undoubtedly a cold and emotionless companionship. Therefore, in the new era, it is still an urgent need for the elderly to go home often and spend time with them. Give more care and greetings to the elderly so that they can have a happy old age.

conclusion

In the new era, technology has brought people a convenient life, changed people's way of life, and given contemporary young people a brand-new outlook on life, values and world outlook; Compared with the contemporary elderly, due to the differences in birth background, life experience, family education, school and other aspects, the differences between contemporary young people and the elderly in lifestyle and values are too great. In the process of the times, the rural family structure is empty-nested, and the social elderly lack the companionship of their children. At the same time, due to the differences in national economic structure, the mobility of family members has become a feature of the times. In this context, the lack of companionship of the elderly has become an inevitable trend. Therefore, strengthening the moral guidance of filial piety among all virtues, perfecting the social security system for the elderly, solving the generation gap with the elderly and taking time out to accompany the elderly have become the main solutions to solve the problem of the lack of companionship for the elderly.

refer to

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