"How to become confident" is a common problem. Parents encourage children who want to go to school or society: "Don't be afraid, you should have the confidence to do it." There are various methods, courses and seminars on how to become confident. People are tirelessly looking for answers to become confident.

A coin has two sides, and the other side of self-confidence is inferiority. People are crazy about pursuing self-confidence, and people are also afraid of refusing to feel inferior.

As a psychological counselor, I often receive such phone calls or text messages, "Teacher, I feel inferior. What should I do? " "Teacher, I want to be confident. Is there any way? "

Every time I hear such a question and see such a message, my first reaction is that I don't know where to start. Because inferiority complex, especially inferiority complex related to personality, is really a complicated topic. Broadly speaking, the whole psychological counseling is to explore inferiority complex, or to help people get rid of inferiority complex.

Today, we will learn the second chapter of Personality and Personality Types: psychoanalytic personality theory, and explain the formation of inferiority complex with psychoanalysis.

Dynamic orientation

This chapter divides the individual's development stages from birth to 5 years old into: oral desire period, anal desire period, sexual bud period and genital period. In each period, what kind of things act on the driving force will have an impact on the individual's personality.

As early as 1908, Freud defined anal desire in his paper. "He believes that we can observe such people regularly. In them, they combine the three personality characteristics of neatness, orderliness, meanness and stubbornness, and these adult personality characteristics all stem from the efforts to overcome special pleasure in anal activities in childhood."

Have a desire for anal sex. Correspondingly, there is also a desire for the mouth.

In the oral desire period, if the baby is satisfied with sucking and swallowing activities, it will grow into a positive oral desire character, such as optimism and cheerfulness. If the baby is excessively restricted, for example, when the baby wants to eat milk, the mother can't satisfy it because of the lack of milk, or the mother is busy with housework and makes the baby cry for a long time, which is likely to cause loss of appetite, and when he grows up, he will have a negative appetite personality, such as dependence. The most typical feature of dependence is that when individuals encounter setbacks, they cannot solve problems independently and tend to seek help from others. However, the age and knowledge of an individual should be solved independently, but they cannot be solved independently, which easily leads to the individual's sense of inferiority.

Feeding activities in infancy are so important that in the early stage of psychological counseling-data collection stage, counselors will try their best to understand the breast milk situation of adult visitors in infancy.

Reich, an Austrian-born American psychoanalyst and sociologist, was a student of Freud. He believes that "the experience of frustration in personal interaction with the outside world has formed a personality structure." "The type of personality structure depends on the Libido period of traumatic setbacks."

For example, children should learn to walk around 1 year old, and some children always fall down as soon as they walk, and then cry. If this kind of experience is too much, it is beyond the child's load capacity. Although the child will be comforted by his mother in time, his frustrated experience has been portrayed in his heart. Even when I grow up, I will still feel timid and afraid in the face of the outside world, afraid to explore and worried about my incompetence. This is inferiority complex.

Structural orientation

Freud divided personality into id, ego and superego. A confident person's ability to face the real world, that is, the ability of the ID, is powerful. When a person's superego, popularly speaking, is a strong sense of morality, it will limit a person's self-development, resulting in a weak self-ability and unable to cope with the real external world well.

If an individual agrees with a strong moral concept, he will pretend to be a virtuous person; If an individual grows up in a family with a strong sense of morality and doesn't agree with it internally, this moral concept is more from external requirements, and the individual will form an inferiority complex.

sven goran eriksson

Eriksson, a famous developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst. He put forward the concept of identity.

We often can't help but wonder how this child's personality is exactly the same as his father's. This "sameness" is the performance that children identify with their fathers. If the father has an inferiority complex, the child will also have an inferiority complex because of his status.

Frome

Have you read or heard the book The Art of Love? This is written by psychologist and philosopher Fromm. Fromm believes that "social and economic systems and conditions shape our personality, which in turn affects our destiny."

This is a very common phenomenon: if a person's family economic situation is poor, or grew up in a remote mountainous area, when he stands in front of a person with good economic situation, or in a metropolis, it is easy to feel inferior, and the inferiority complex takes root and grows rapidly.

Object relation theory

They regard personality as a function of the early relationship between mother and baby.

When the baby encounters postpartum depression from the mother, the mother has a hard time taking care of herself, and can't take good care of the baby at all, and will respond slowly or even unresponsively to the baby's needs. The baby born in the world itself is very fragile, and it is easy to feel abandoned at this time, accompanied by my bad and terrible belief. These beliefs will be deeply hidden in your heart, and when you grow up, you will feel inferior when you encounter setbacks or face relationships.

Self-psychology

They think that personality is a problem of defects. Kohut thinks that personality problem is the failure of individual's healthy narcissistic development due to the failure of maternal love. Corresponding to healthy narcissism is arrogance and inferiority.

This often happens if a mother doesn't have the ability to understand others accurately, doesn't it? There is a saying: "There is a kind of cold, and my mother feels cold." If this happens in infancy, the baby already feels very warm, but the mother looked at the weather and worried that the baby would be cold, so she added another one to the baby who had already worn three clothes. Not only clothes, but any aspect of the baby may be misunderstood by the mother. For example, the baby cried because it was wet, and the mother thought the baby was hungry and cried. Mothers are always unable to properly, accurately and quickly understand and meet their babies' needs, and always lack or excessively impose their wishes on their babies. In the long run, when the baby grows up, he will form arrogance (inner inferiority) or inferiority complex.

We can see the formation of inferiority complex, and a person's inferiority complex is not formed by a single reason. A person is likely to be born in a remote mountainous area, and his mother didn't take good care of him. His parents are self-abased. . . . . . Is this common? This is the result of many factors.

If such a complicated problem is to be adjusted, it is also a complicated process and takes a relatively long time. Half a year, a year or even three or five years is always needed.