The only generation is the little emperor at home, and it is loved by thousands. Parents put all their expectations on this generation, so that they can bear heavy burdens and enjoy great care at the same time. However, in some families, such care has evolved into a kind of abnormal care, which is gradually eroding the marriage quality of the only generation. According to the data of divorce cases accepted by the People's Court of nanchang district, Wuxi, since the second half of 2009, single-generation divorce cases have been on the rise, accounting for about 40% of the total divorce cases in recent two years, of which 70% are due to the excessive interference of parents, leading to the collapse of single-generation marriage. The excessive care of parents has become a burden. Xiao Zhang and his wife are both born in the 1980s, and they live and eat with their parents after marriage. Xiao Zhang is a taxi driver. He goes out early and comes back late every day. He works very hard. Parents are afraid of their son's intervention. They not only do all the housework, but also often provide financial support. Last year, the young couple had a child of their own, but the crying of the child made Xiao Zhang, who was driving late, unable to sleep. Mother saw the pain in her eyes and tried to make Xiao Zhang's bed in the empty room. Now Xiao Zhang has a good sleep again. However, a year later, Xiao Zhang's wife filed a divorce lawsuit with the court. "This year, our husband and wife have been under the same roof, but there are few opportunities to meet. When he came back in the evening, my child and I had already slept. When we got up in the morning, he drove away again. " Xiao Zhang's wife said in court: "I admit that his parents are the best parents in the world, but I didn't marry his parents." "My parents always treat me like a child, but they are really nice. They always put me first. I am surprised that she will file for divorce, but there is no way to get caught in the middle. " After signing the divorce agreement, Xiao Zhang shook his head helplessly. Coincidentally. Xiao Yuan was born in 1985, and enjoys the care of a princess at home. It can be said that her life is carefree. After getting married the year before last, Xiao Yuan lived in her husband's house. My mother is not at ease. She goes to see her every three days. After giving birth to a child last year, Xiao Yuan's mother took her daughter home and took good care of her. However, fearing that the child's crying would disturb her daughter at night, she openly moved into the young couple's room. Xiao Yuan's husband was very dissatisfied and asked his mother-in-law to move out of their room, but her husband and mother strongly disagreed. Unbearable, Xiao Yuan's husband sued for divorce and finally mediated the divorce. "How can a mother-in-law sleep in a husband-and-wife room? This is ridiculous! " Xiao Yuan's husband was very angry. "The child wants to drink milk at night, and the daughter can't sleep well all night. He doesn't care about anything. I just moved in because I can't see the past, but also to help with the children. " Xiao Yuan's mother thinks she did the right thing. "Mom is also good for me. I am also very sad to fall into this situation. " Small round eyes with tears. "Parents participate in their children's marriage in the name of love, arrogantly occupying the happy space belonging to the young couple, resulting in indifference between the young couple due to long-term lack of communication." Judge Tang Ran, who has tried many such cases, said that the traditional contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not the main reason for divorce for the only generation, but the excessive care of parents has led many young couples to fly to the southeast. The unreasonable interference of parents led to tragedy. The young couple quarreled many times about playing computer, but Serena thought it was a trivial matter and didn't take it to heart. However, one day at work, the unit leader suddenly called him over and taught him to be responsible for his family and handle the relationship between husband and wife well. Serena felt very abrupt, and only when she got home did she know that it was Xiaoying's father who went to the leader to scold him in the morning. Serena was very angry and told her parents about it. Her hot-tempered father immediately went to talk to her in-laws about it. Now, the contradiction between the young couple has rapidly risen to the contradiction between the two families. Divorce is a foregone conclusion, but no one will succumb to property and have to go to court. "The only generation lacks a sense of responsibility. When encountering problems, the first thing that comes to mind is talking to parents, rather than trying to solve them yourself. This dependence directly involves both parents in the contradiction between husband and wife. In addition, parents are eager to love their children, and the trivial things caused by daily life are infinitely magnified, which eventually leads to the contest between two families or even two families. " The judge in charge of the case made an in-depth analysis. The same is true of another case. The young couple once quarreled over a trivial matter, and the woman ran back to her mother's house and told her father about it. Early the next morning, my father angrily went to talk to my son-in-law, and as a result, they could not communicate. The son-in-law was about to drive to work, when the father-in-law suddenly rushed to the front of the car and blocked the son-in-law's way, yelling, "You can't leave until you make things clear." In this way, the young couple went to court and finally parted ways. Tragic stories like this were staged in court one by one. Judge Tang Ran said that when parents listen to their children's dissatisfaction with marriage, they should comfort their children with convincing opinions, instead of encouraging the other party to solve conflicts in a radical way, and they should not break into their children's marriage and negotiate with each other as spokespersons. The contradiction between husband and wife should be solved by both husband and wife themselves. Xiao Hai and Qian Qian were born in 1985. They are both only children in the family. The two met and fell in love under the arrangement of their parents, and they got married smoothly one year later. However, on the fourth day after the wedding, Qian Qian angrily moved back to her parents' home. A month later, she went to the hospital for an abortion without authorization. After the man knew it, he sued the court for divorce. In the court, the young couple basically didn't talk much, but their parents quarreled about the division of property. "The two children can't be the masters at all, as if their parents are getting divorced." The judge in charge is not without emotion. "In fact, as early as before the wedding, the parents of both sides had a bad feeling about bride price, jewelry, banquet and so on. And this contradiction continues until marriage. " According to local customs, on the night of the wedding, Xiaohai opened the official box that Qian Qian brought from her family, and put a deposit slip of 80,000 yuan in it. However, within two days, the certificate of deposit disappeared, and Qian Qian only took out the money under coercion and inducement, and paid off the debts he owed when looking for a job. The young couple had a quarrel over this certificate of deposit. After the parents of both sides learned about it, the contradiction was out of control and eventually went to court. In addition to the wedding management, parents' upbringing of their children is also prone to conflicts. Xiao Qi and Mix got married through free love, and they had been together for three years before their children went to school. It was originally agreed that the parents would take turns to take care of the children, but both sides suspected that the other side would not take care of the children and competed to take them to their own homes. The friction between the two families gradually increased, but Xiao Qi and Mix were caught in the middle, but there was nothing they could do. They also had many quarrels about it. After a long time, the relationship between husband and wife will be cold. One day, Xiaoxiao forcibly took the child back to his parents' home and refused to let her husband and mother-in-law visit him. In order to get custody of the children, the two families first launched a divorce war. According to Judge Tang Ran, the only generation of divorce cases is often that parents manipulate their children behind their backs. In addition to the verbal dispute between you and me in court, both parents will fight after court. He said that there was a sad scene that impressed him deeply: after signing the divorce agreement or judging the divorce, both parents fought outside the court, while the young couple cried in court. For such a scene, Judge Tang Ran sighed with emotion: "The young couple still have feelings, and they only divorced under the pressure of two families. If parents can care less and give their children a separate marriage space, maybe the children are still enjoying the happiness of marriage at this moment. " (Zhao Hui) Views make children completely independent According to the folk custom in China, children must stand on their own feet and bear the burden of life independently when they reach adulthood or get married. Parents generally no longer interfere with their children's "daily necessities". Today, however, the care of children by single parents runs through the whole growth history of children. Until after marriage, the only generation still enjoys the meticulous care of their parents. Once there is a contradiction in marriage, both parents want to strive for the best interests of their children and avoid the so-called losses. As a result, both sides haggle over every ounce and do not give in to each other. Let the simple quarrel between husband and wife become a complex family struggle, and let the small disputes caused by trivial matters spread like a prairie fire and rise to the interests of the whole family. The small family is no longer a breeding ground for happiness, but a battlefield filled with smoke. This is the living state of the one-child marriage: choosing a spouse independently and getting married passively. Inadvertently, the protagonist of love becomes a puppet of marriage life, and their feelings are covered up by the care of their parents and submerged by family contradictions. In today's only-child era, although many people don't split up immediately after marriage, the independent spirit emphasized in China's traditional concept is the only generation of parents who should learn now: please give their children an independent, independent and complete marriage space for their happiness. (Lu Fangfang)