Dude, tell me how I felt when I entered the house. Don't keep it from me. You just got married now. It's not something I can pinch and calculate. It was the decoration in the house that told me. I'm getting married soon, too. To this end, although I am very busy and nervous at work, I have always been very caring and have not carried out large-scale sabotage activities.
I really like the layout design of your new house, elegant chandeliers, beautiful and warm screens, and charming artistic photos of your wife by the bed. I can see you're lucky, man. In a word, everything seems so enviable. When, my buddy can get mixed up like this and quit this business.
Dude, tell me about my working procedure, which will help you check and tidy up the battlefield.
There is a small safe in the living room. I had a hard time opening it, which made me quite disappointed. There are only ten letters there. I opened one and looked at it several times. It was a love letter you wrote to a little girl many years ago. If it weren't for the tight time and heavy task, I would have to take a closer look. I, besides this line, like literature, for your privacy and for your wife's discovery. Later, I opened it and found that there was no US dollar, only to find that you were really talented. Your love letter is really good, sour and full of hook words between the lines. No wonder your wife is so beautiful. Besides, I drank a bottle of juice from the refrigerator, which was delicious. I really forgot what brand it was.
The south room, which is your bedroom, is my key place to take care of. Because I was in a hurry, the bedspread and sheets were thrown on the ground. But don't worry, I walked back and forth in your new socks, so I didn't get those things dirty. The TV and stereo are good and heavy, and I didn't take them away or destroy them (for this, you should thank me. Some people in our business can't take it with them.
I rummaged through all the drawers in the North House. I only found a diamond ring, which may be your wedding token for your wife. I didn't want to take it with me at first, but my brother really needs to get married. I have no choice but to accept. I didn't touch the rest of the things, such as toothbrush and key chain.
The East Room is your bookcase. I thought you were a book lover, but when I turned it over, it was full of prop books, only leather and boxes, but no real books. I was disappointed, but I still took the DVD "Promise" at the bottom of the bookcase. I have long heard that this film is good, so I have no time to see it. I just took it home to have a look. Secondly, I want to learn new technologies from my peers. In what era, knowledge was updated too quickly.
I could have done my work more carefully, but because people kept walking outside and I didn't want to fight, I ended up in a hurry. This gain (including your loss, of course) is as follows:
Cash: 36,700 yuan
diamond ring
A DVD
a bottle of juice
Ten love letters
The total price cannot be estimated because of the love letter.
Although I really want to write more to you to comfort your helpless heart, I can't sleep at night because I have a new task. See you later (sorry, copy a sentence from your love letter at the end)! !
Stealing company lines
Bull: Ah, Feng Gong.
Feng: Yes, it's me.
Niu: A crosstalk performer.
Feng: It's me.
Niu: I really envy your work.
Feng: Don't say that.
Bull: All talk and no action. After the cross talk, I didn't hurt at all.
Feng: You're going to let us see blood after the cross talk, right?
Niu: My work can't compare with yours.
Feng: Why?
Bull: We were beaten black and blue at both ends in three days.
Feng: Oh, you took part in boxing.
Bull: I am too old.
Feng: Very antagonistic.
Bull: It's too risky.
Feng: That's the spirit!
Bull: Fear and fear.
Feng: Just get used to it.
Bull: I'm afraid someone will catch me.
Feng: You hide quickly.
Bull: If someone catches you, they will fight to the death.
Feng: Then the other team fouled.
Niu: He cares about that. Just a few days ago, six boys hung me up and beat me, swearing while hitting my mouth.
Feng: Why did you curse?
Niu: Let your boy steal your wallet!
Feng: Oh, are you a thief?
Niu: You see, people in this culture speak so badly. What is a thief?
Feng: That should call you. ...
Bull: Bag thief!
Feng: Is it different? This?
Bull: I've had enough. In order to steal this thing, I have been secretly shrinking all day. Trembling, sneaking around, living a life that is not chic at all. I've had enough. I regret how I became a thief.
Feng: It's good to know.
Bull: It's better to grab the road. Really, if you encounter highway robbery, you will be killed, so as to save your miserable life.
Feng: Well, I said, as long as you make up your mind to correct it, I will try my best to help you.
Niu: Good, sir. That's it.
Feng: Isn't it?
Niu: But they won't spare me if I wash my hands of it completely.
Feng: Did you join the underworld?
Niu: Who's in?
Feng: So? ...
Niu: The company I joined is called Thief Company.
Feng: Thief company?
Niu: the full name is thief finance co., ltd.
Feng: How many people are there in your company?
Bull: More than one hundred people.
Feng: More than a hundred thieves?
Bull: Not all thieves, only the two of us really insist on working in the front line.
Feng: What about the others?
Niu: They are all leading cadres.
Feng: Do you have any thief companies and leading cadres?
Niu: Hey, you said, "The train runs fast and people depend on the front. Cadres take the lead, thieves have energy, thieves don't take the lead, they can't steal, they can't steal, or they can't run. "
Feng: What cadres do you have?
Niu: There are many cadres, one general manager and forty-eight deputy managers.
Feng: Forty-eight people?
Niu: Let's share it.
Feng: What's it to you?
Niu: Some are in charge of administration, organization, publicity, logistics and family planning ...
Feng: I'll wait here. Does your thief company still have family planning?
Niu: Well, now that you mention it, the whole country plays a game of chess, and we thieves are no exception. Otherwise, people have family planning, and we thieves are born casually, stealing thieves, thieves are born small, thieves are born more and more, and good people are less and less. Who are we stealing?
Feng: You are also doing this for the sake of ecological balance.
Niu: Of course, these departments are all from the higher level to the lower level, and the division of labor is even more detailed.
Feng: What subjects do you have?
Niu: Take this safety plate for example. ...
Feng; No, wait a minute. What does your thief company want from the security department?
Niu: It is necessary. More than a hundred thieves gathered. If there is no security department, what things in the company will disappear in the blink of an eye? Thieves in our company, 1990, the first document clearly pointed out that the more thieves' nests there are, the more anti-theft work should be strengthened!
Feng: Domestic thieves are hard to prevent.
Niu: Of course, these are permanent institutions. Assuming that there is a central task, many temporary institutions will be added.
Feng: What organizations are there?
Bull: That's a lot. You think it's Spring Festival. You have to set up a spring theft office, right?
Feng: What? Spring thief's office?
Niu: During the Spring Festival, I raided the office, referred to as the Spring Theft Office.
Feng: What about Women's Day on March 8th?
Niu: Set up a female thief office.
Feng: May 4th Youth Day?
Bull: Juvenile thief's office!
Feng: Children's Day?
Bull: Child theft!
Feng: Holidays are not delayed.
Bull: Don't say it's a holiday. Today, we will set up a comprehensive theft office in the super variety show!
Feng: Hey, no!
Niu: Our director came to the scene in person!
Feng: Who is your director?
Niu: Don't tell me, just tell me that our director is.
Feng: Who?
Bull: Hou Yuting!
Feng: Comrades, comrades, don't be intimidated by this.
Niu: If you don't do it, this person will be overstaffed. You have to streamline it for several years at the beginning. The more streamlined you are, the more people there will be. I can't help it It's all through the back door From the superior. The cadres must be sent. In fact, this is a very professional unit ... it doesn't mean that individuals come here to be cadres. The layman leads the expert, and there is no accident at the lower level. You say this person can do it, and the people above say no: say this person can't, and the people above say yes, but you can't be angry. There is a couplet circulating in our place, which is very telling.
Feng: What couplets?
Niu: The first part is that you can say yes, but you can't.
Feng: The bottom line.
Bull: You can't say no, and neither can you.
Feng: Horizontal batch
Niu: I can't refuse to accept it.
Feng: You are still a generation of educated thieves.
Niu: The most important thing is to form a team and set an index of several thousand dollars.
Feng: Then steal it.
Bull: It's not easy. You stopped stealing recently.
Feng: That's right.
Niu: In other words, we are short of manpower when people steal big items, and stealing small items is not worth big items. I stole the passbook and dared not take it. I want to steal, but I'm afraid of cheating. It's always heavy You can't steal tens of thousands of dollars a day if you work hard.
Feng: I missed this.
Niu: No, it's too tight to spend.
Feng: As for it?
Niu: Ah, I'll do the math for you.
Feng: OK, you do the math.
Niu: There are more than one hundred thieves in our company. It costs money to eat, drink, sleep, sit and walk, right?
Feng: It costs money.
Niu: It costs money to study and hold meetings in tourist attractions endlessly, right? Not counting this, our leading cadres have to go abroad for inspection! You said you were a thief company. What did you visit abroad? It is said that it is to learn advanced foreign theft technology!
Feng: This is also rushing out of Asia and stealing the world.
Bull: What is the most intolerable thing? Even if we see other companies advertising on TV, our company will advertise!
Feng: Does your thief company also advertise?
Niu: The advertising words are all written.
Feng: What word?
Niu: "Friend, do you want to get rich quickly?" Please join the thief company, it can make you rich overnight. The contact in our company ...
Feng: Who is it?
Niu: It's not suitable to spread.
Feng: Phone number?
Niu: Keep it a secret for the time being.
Feng: registered by telegram?
Niu: No comment.
Feng: What's the company address?
Bull: Shoot and change places.
Feng: Who can find it?
Niu: The police blocked us several times for this. As soon as I saw this posture, I quickly wrote a report: in view of the tight wind, I suggest that all the staff of the company transfer immediately! Big dog, please indicate!
Feng: Did you hand it in?
Niu: I gave it to the deputy head. The deputy team leader took it and drew a circle first.
Feng: Draw a circle?
Bull: It's called circling. Express basic agreement. Please let the team leader decide.
Feng: This is still the responsibility of the team leader.
Niu: The team leader took it and drew a circle. Please ask the deputy section chief to decide! Draw a circle and let the section chief decide. The section chief drew a circle first, let the assistant manager make a decision, and then drew another circle.
Feng: I drew five circles for this.
Niu: Please ask the general manager to decide. Speaking of efficiency, it's our general manager. Bring it here. Look at it. Five circles. I see. Picked up the brush and wrote a few words.
Feng: How was it approved?
Bull: Agreed! Steal at the Olympics! Before the report was finished, the police shouted and blocked us in the house. When I put on my cold gloves, I thought it was all over. The more desperate, the more regretful, the more regretful, the more annoyed. I am angry from the heart, and evil is born of courage. My stuff, my report, you, comrade police.
Feng: Huh?
Bull: Bureaucracy kills people!
Give it to a thief.
1. Suppose you are the second possibility, then I hate you. Why take revenge on society because you are tired of life? I'm just a poor student. I love life. My parents worked hard for my study, and I worked hard and made progress. Our family is poor but warm and happy, and I really hate you. I hate you for ruining my mood and that of my parents. I hate you for showing me the dark side of society! I am sorry for my parents, and I hate myself for not taking precautions. You are really not human.
I think you are the first possibility. I sympathize with you. You are forced by life. This is also a way of life for you. I can understand you, but can you understand me? I am just a poor student with no income. I only rely on my parents' hard work of facing the loess. Don't you understand how hard they are? I still depend on my parents for nothing, but I will repay them successfully, but why do you want to make my life worse? I don't hate you, I sympathize with you. I cursed you when I first found out I was stolen, but it was really childish. Now I just hope that everyone can put themselves in others' shoes. You also have hard-earned parents, and I still feel sorry for you with your parents' hard-earned money. How can you take such unreasonable money?
My wallet was stolen today, and my bank card, ID card and cash were all lost. I said, thief, why are you so cruel? Now that I have no money, do you think I am happy to drink northwest wind? I have never met anyone who can make a fortune by stealing. Is that your heart? People don't work hard to make money, so you take their hard-earned money for nothing? That's what you did. If my money is used to save people, you will kill a person. Do you know how many people's blood will be on your hands? Don't people have reincarnation? Looks like you don't expect it either. Yes, it's enough for people like you to live once and have to go to hell. If you really need it, you really can't live. No one will watch you die. Everyone will help. Is it necessary to use extreme methods? I am alone in the field. What do you think I should do? I have no money, I can't report the loss of my card, and my ID card doesn't exist. If I have no friends, I will die, right? Some people are dead, he is still alive, and some people are still alive. He should have died long ago, you shameless people should have died long ago. Remember the day when I come to your door for dinner, give me your certificate and say I'm sorry, because you made me like this, and I will return it sooner or later when I come out. ...
These words are for you, oh no, they should be for all thieves in the world. Now that it is not a slave society, you should get rid of your "feudal thought" and stop being a slave to money. It's really not worth losing morality for wealth. Sorry for raising your parents, sorry for teaching your teachers, sorry for the innocent society. Since you are human, you should live up to the word "human", stand up, live for your own ideals and ambitions, and live for the value of life. You shouldn't waste time like this. We must live with personality and backbone. Even if we starve to death in the streets, we will never betray our faith. Since ancient times, life has never died, take the heart of Dan and follow the history!
5. Are you happy? Are you happy when you spend a lot of money you have earned without conscience? When you say happy, it must be false. Because you not only have to face the condemnation of conscience every day, but also face the eyes of people who hate you in nightmares. Will you be happy? No. If blood is still flowing in your body, you will never feel true happiness. There is an old saying: "The pear has no owner, and I am alone?" The pear tree has no owner. Is there no master in your heart?
6. Suppose you are the third possibility. I just want to say that you are scum, scum and mental derangement! I hope you will disappear from this world forever and give us a comfortable life.
7. Maybe at this time, you are smug with your "trophy", or you may be nervously preparing for your next move, but do you know? Your behavior hurt a child's heart. When you crept into the gate, I was dreaming of all the beautiful things in the world, bright sunshine and flowers everywhere … and you may have sneaked a bulging wallet. Did you ever know that your evil figure obscured my dreams and made me more distrustful, disgusted and angry about the world? Every night, dad always locks the door, just in case. I always say, "Do you need it? There are so many thieves, you have to trust others to make your heart more sunny! " However, I was wrong.
8. You will be disappointed after a busy day. Wouldn't it be painful for others to lose a month's labor feedback because of you? Do you think that only your own heart will hurt, and others should take everything for granted?
9. Let's talk about your habits first, not to mention how much your behavior affects your personal morality. Although I haven't seen you, I can be sure that you must be a very lazy person. Are you too lazy to pick up your rummaged bag, clean the dirty floor you stepped on, or even close the door that most easily exposes your whereabouts? This is not the quality that a thief should have.
10, thief, why did you steal it? Do you steal for a living, for revenge or for fun? Today, my new mobile phone was stolen. It's really hard and angry.
1 1. Is money that important in your eyes? If once the money you steal is used by others to cure diseases and save lives, just because you want to satisfy your vanity, you will let a life fall, make his family suffer for life, and finally die with hatred for you and helplessness in this desolate world. .....................................................................................................................
12, if you can see what I said, please take three seconds to silently say "I'm sorry" to all the people you have hurt.
Time is like a thief, stealing tears.
1, when you have no money, eat wild vegetables at home; If you have money, go to the hotel to eat wild vegetables.
God, I will never call you grandpa again. You don't love my granddaughter at all
Do you have such a big face to cover the sun or something?
4. Why do you love one person but not the next?
Actually, I am a charity, and I am with you for social peace.
6. Of course God will forgive me, because that's his job.
7. Your past is stored in my mind and accepted silently.
8. Everyone else is holding hands, but I am holding a dog in my hand. Take a walk and see who is dissatisfied with biting.
9. The road is not deep and the qualifications are not shallow. Come all the way. Sit tight.
10, you have to refuel yourself. Prove it to yourself and some idiots. Even if you used to be fat, you will lose weight and become beautiful one day.
1 1, while drinking water, shed tears to avoid water shortage.
12. Every time I write my resume, I will admire myself more than before.
13, only women and English are sad, only wives and jobs are hard to find.
14, overheard Sodagreen's chase, I don't know what thunder is!
15, time is like a thief, stealing tears/counting/
16, May sings: Can I hug you? Xu Liang said, sir, no!
17, the explanation is cover-up, cover-up is dishonesty, and dishonesty is lack of cleaning!
18, calculus tomorrow 1406 examination room. Is this telling me I'm going to die? !
19, the worst feeling in the world is having to doubt what you used to believe.
For those who don't really care about me but tell me what to do with my life, I can only give you a few words, which is none of your business.
2 1, the head can be broken, and the hairstyle can't be messy; Blood can flow, leather shoes should be oiled.
22. The Six Classics heard that the Five Classics said that the Four Classics and the Three Classics met the second aunt.
23. When China is developed, let foreigners translate classical Chinese.
24, reading in the library, used to take off their shoes, the result! Gee ~ ~ What can I do?
The mood of Valentine's Day is heavier than that of Tomb-Sweeping Day.
It is not that I was careless, but that I did it on purpose.
27. Commitment is like the shelf life on the wrapping paper.
28. Tiny happiness is around, and easy satisfaction is heaven.
29. Learn to bully, not learn.
30. I think it is a kind of hooliganism for girls to say that they are cold when they are lonely!
3 1. In bed, practice is the only criterion to test kung fu.
32. It's good to have sisters. It's so cool to blow them up when you're in a bad mood.
33. I put 10 thousand vows in the machine gun and then shoot you. You're lying in a pool of blood, covered in Cupid bullets!
34, falling in love is a waste of money, it is better to go home and plant a field!
35. God created you because of his creativity, and it is your courage that you can continue to live.
36. Hey, it's a miracle that the dog can still talk!
37. If you can't let go of the past, you will never reach the future.
38. Abroad: Thought and talent are king; At home: relationships and flattery will be rampant.
39. You are a pencil case, which can only be used to hold pens.
40. I turned around and saw that you had left.
4 1, now I know that no matter how hard I try, I can't get into your heart.
I should leave. Is the air fresh? Is it bluer? Is the roadside scenery more beautiful? You must think so.
43. I think I should lose weight. Last time I donated blood, I actually shed 100 ml of lard.