Emotional ABC theory was founded by American psychologist Ellis. A refers to the main facts, behaviors and events encountered by individuals. B is an individual's belief and view on A; C refers to the emotional result caused by the event. In other words, the same thing, different people, will cause different emotional experiences.
Just like the case of twin brothers above, it can be described as a portrayal of "the difference between one thought and two deaths". According to Ellis' point of view, the belief that my brother has negative emotions has three common irrational belief characteristics.
1, absolutely required
Such people often take their own wishes as the starting point and think that something must happen or not. For example, I must do well and win the recognition of others.
The consequence of this is that when the development of a thing goes against its absolute requirements, such people will find it difficult to accept and adapt, thus easily falling into emotional distress.
2. Overgeneralized assessment
This is an irrational way of thinking, in Ellis' words, just like judging a book by its cover. For example, some people will think that they are "worthless, worthless" after some failures.
This kind of one-sided self-denial often leads to bad feelings such as inferiority, self-abandonment and self-guilt. What is even more frightening is that when pointing at others, they will blindly blame others and produce negative emotions such as resentment and hostility.
3. Extremely bad results
This view holds that if something bad happens, it will be very terrible and bad. For example, "I didn't go to college, and it's over."
This kind of thinking is irrational, and it is easy for people to fall into a bad emotional experience and cannot recover.
It can be seen that it is not the external environment that determines a person's achievements, but the internal beliefs and mentality! Then how can we change our mentality, regard setbacks as bankbooks, stress as motivation and obstacles as our favorite? Let's look at some ways to change our mentality.
Scene 1: Positive psychological suggestion
Twenty years ago, there was a genius experiment in America. They randomly selected 20 students from the whole school 10000 students, and then called everyone to the playground. The headmaster announced that this list was given by the top scientists who specialize in genius in our country. After long-term testing and research, it is found that there are 20 geniuses in our school.
Of course, the 20 students who stood out from the crowd were very excited and excited. "Wow, we are geniuses. We have been tested. " Twenty years later, these 20 people lived up to expectations and showed their achievements beyond the average person.
The fact is that they didn't really pass the professional test, and the reason for their success was positive psychological suggestion. Because we are geniuses, I can overcome the insurmountable service difficulties.
Scene 2: Always think about what you have gained, not what you have lost.
It seems that Xie Kunshan, a disabled painter in Taiwan Province, was born unlucky. Because his family was poor and had no money to go to school, he dropped out of school very early. 12 years old, went to work on the construction site. /kloc-when he was 0/6 years old, he lost his arms and a leg because he accidentally touched high voltage. At the age of 23, an accident made him lose another eye.
He didn't complain or sink. As long as he has one leg and one mouth, he can learn something. He began to learn to draw. Because he has no hands, he paints with his mouth. He first bit the brush with his teeth, then stirred it with his tongue, and blood often oozed from his mouth. Without a leg, he painted the Golden Rooster Independence for hours at a time.
We don't think about what we don't have, but what we have and what we can create.
Scene 3: stay real is in the present every day.
Dr. Kissinger, former US Secretary of State, is a very serious person. Once, his assistant handed him a written plan and asked his opinion. He smiled and asked, "Is this the best plan you can make?" The assistant hesitated and replied that it could be changed again.
Two weeks later, the assistant handed in the revised plan again. Kissinger still asked with a slight smile, "Is this the best plan you can make?" The assistant stepped back and whispered, "Maybe there are one or two details I can improve."
Everyone has equal time. Only by seriously living the present can we ensure the quality of work and live up to our youth.
Two. Summary:
1, emotional ABC theory: a (event) +B (belief) =C The same thing, different people, will cause different emotional experiences.
2. In daily life and work, when encountering various setbacks, pressures and obstacles, check your brain to see if there are some unreasonable ideas such as "absolute requirements", "excessive generalization" and "extremely bad", give yourself positive psychological hints, always want what you want, and live every day carefully.
3. If success = mentality? Ability, ability will not be zero, but when negative mentality is zero, it will lead to negative results. Success or failure is not determined by ability, but by mentality.
We should regard setbacks as bankbooks, stress as motivation, obstacles as our favorite, change our lives with a positive attitude and create a better tomorrow.
When everyone is about to return to work, it is more appropriate to review this emotional ability. For each of us, the epidemic situation is an exam about self-discipline, work significance, value consciousness and adaptability. Only by working hard and in a positive way can we not be eliminated and strive to be our own master!