1

I remember the year when I graduated from college and just entered the company. One day, Brother Hu and I went to work in other units. When we finished, we drove to the exit of the parking lot, and an old man wearing a red armband came to charge us.

It is clear that our car has been parked for less than half an hour, but the old man insists on charging us 30 yuan.

I can't help muttering that your charge is really unreasonable.

The old man gave me a sideways look and closed the door of the parking lot without saying anything. A man walked into the reception room and drank tea leisurely.

It means that in Lao Tzu's territory, you all have to listen to me. If you don't pay today, you can't leave.

I was just about to get off the bus and argue with him when Brother Hu stopped me in time and paid the parking fee without saying anything.

After leaving smoothly, I complained to Hugh that the truth is clearly on our side, so why should we compromise with him? Who's afraid of who! If it's a big deal, even if you want to pay, just spend it with him. It's not too late to pay later when he shows the relevant certificate of the price bureau.

Hugh smiled, Wen Yi, you are still too young. If you find a reason, you will not hesitate to die. A discerning person can tell at a glance that he collects fees indiscriminately. However, it is not cost-effective to waste time here for this little money and delay the next work arrangement.

Many years later, I still remember what Hugh said to me at that time: Never argue with people at different levels, it is a loss that is not beneficial to yourself.

2

Xiao Yi, an editor friend of mine, told me about an experience he had.

When I came home for the Spring Festival this year, a relative at home asked him how much money he could earn a month.

Xiaoyi told the truth, but after listening to it, my relatives actually sarcastically said, you are a student of a famous university, so why are you not as good as the son of the Li family at the village entrance? My family only has a technical secondary school education, but I have had a good time in Shanghai in recent years. It is said that I will go back to the village to build a house recently.

He kept shaking his head and thought it was really useless to read so many books.

Xiaoyi told me that at the beginning of the year, he always liked to recruit people from the media. He enthusiastically submitted his resume and was finally hired. Although the starting salary of this job is not high, and he often needs to work overtime, he feels that working with a group of like-minded colleagues every day is quite fulfilling and happy.

But after listening to the words of relatives, Xiao Yi was really anxious to defend himself, and finally thought about it and gave up.

In the case, Xiaoyi's relatives judge a person's success by "how much money he earns", while Xiaoyi pays more attention to the value and future that work can bring him. The difference in cognitive level between two people determines that it is difficult to talk to each other.

Trying to figure everything out in front of people who are not on a channel at all is asking for it.

three

Recently, a tragedy happened in Kunming. Liu Jie, a 28-year-old actress, took her fiance to the hospital to visit her sick grandmother. I met a drunk downstairs in the inpatient department. Because he accidentally touched him, the drunk swore, and then the couple argued with the drunk. As a result, the drunk took out his knife and stabbed the girl twice, one in the heart and the other in the spleen. ...

However, the drunk continued to chase Jassamyn Liu's fiance, whose leg was cut off three times while trying to escape.

It is very sad that a happy couple was destroyed by a meaningless dispute.

This reminds me of a very vivid remark made by Lincoln, the first 16 president of the United States and an abolitionist:

Instead of arguing with the dog and being bitten by it, let it go first. Otherwise, even if you kill it, it won't cure your bite marks.

Similarly, what level of people you argue with determines what kind of person you will become.

Not everyone is at the same level. When you are not understood in life, don't rush to win or lose. You know, not everyone deserves your explanation.

The world is big, and people's personality is divided into three grades. We can't change the character and quality of the people around us, but fortunately, we have the right to choose to stay away from them and not argue and entangle with them too much. This is the greatest protection for yourself.

This does not mean weakness or concession, but when you run out of energy, it is difficult to bridge the cognitive gap between people. You will eventually understand that the best way to speak is to talk less and be yourself.

As Haruki Murakami wrote in The End of the World and Cold Wonderland:

There is a kind of sadness in the world that you can't cry. This kind of sorrow cannot be explained to people, and even if it is explained, people will not understand it. It will never change, like snowflakes quietly deposited in my heart on a windless night.

four

I remember a friend told me about a private enterprise where he once worked. Most employees of the company belong to related households, many of whom don't even have junior high school diplomas, and their quality is uneven.

My friend must spend a lot of time and energy wrangling with colleagues, playing Tai Chi and shirking responsibility every day. Over time, he seems to have been assimilated into that kind of person and developed a set of sophistry skills, but his professional level and salary have not improved at all.

He felt depressed working in this atmosphere, and finally he couldn't help but resign from his boss and fled the company.

William McAdoo, the US Treasury Secretary in the early 20th century, has many years of political experience. He once said, "You can't beat an ignorant man with argument."

Many times, we all hope to crush each other through our own views and correct others with our own values. However, people at different levels are bound to have different cognitive styles for the same thing.

The other person will not become the person you want them to be because of what you say. Therefore, when we encounter problems with each other, we just talk about each other more, and contradictions and differences are always inevitable.

For people of different levels, we don't have to blend in or try to change each other. We just need to stay in our own circle and make friends with people with similar tastes and values. This kind of life is completely enough.

After all, some words are meaningful only if they are spoken to people who understand.