Don't always deprive men of their sense of responsibility. If you ask me, the answer may be because fairy fairy is so affordable. I advocate that there should be a limit to everything. Too much is not enough. Being too virtuous and not virtuous is "reactionary" and depriving "human rights", and the result is to kill yourself. A virtuous woman is very capable and has the virtue of forbearance. Something happened at home, they lost money shopping, their children chose schools, their in-laws got sick ... they didn't tell their husbands anything. In order to let him work with peace of mind, they really took all the problems on themselves. But the results are not all good. Every family member has his own responsibilities and obligations, and you always take over. In the long run, he becomes less responsible. Haven't you heard that heroes marry lazy wives and Lai Han marries flowers? I think one of the important reasons is that a lazy wife can arouse a man's sense of responsibility and participate in the family. No participation, no love. How can you keep a person who has no love for home for a long time? You must see that his energy can't be fully used in his work. There is always a corner worthy of attention. If you don't leave him a space at home, he will go outside to play the residual heat. To say the least, even if he puts all his energy into his work, he still needs to use family affairs and affection to enliven his feelings and adjust his life, so that he won't have so much time to experience loneliness and avoid overwork, let alone indulge him in extramarital affairs, hehe. Whether watching movies, watching TV or watching the real report of this sister-in-law, I often wonder how those virtuous women get through those trivial, heavy and long nights. My heart is really full of respect and sympathy for them. But that doesn't mean I recognize their way, especially when they don't get a good return. I don't think a wife should bear everything for her husband. There are some responsibilities and obligations that he must face. If you share too much, it will deprive him of a life and family experience, which is immoral. Why didn't you tell the child that he was ill? You are unhappy today. Why can't you talk about it? I think we can talk about everything. Don't be afraid of his concern. Don't you find that many modern couples are getting freer every day, because they care about each other a little bit? My noble friend is very opposed to my point of view. She insisted on quitting her job and going home to be a full-time wife, taking care of her husband and educating her children. She doesn't let her husband worry about anything. Every morning, seeing her child's husband go out in bright red is full of sense of accomplishment. But when her husband saw her becoming mediocre day by day, he was not very happy. I've heard him complain more than once: You see how old-fashioned and thoughtless she has become … Alas! He is getting away from home. Look, the reality is so cruel. Not everything you do for a man will make him grateful. Even if you don't want his gratitude, at least it should be a kind of respect. Now men are different from men in the past, so the way of being virtuous can't be the same. In the past, men had no space except work and family. Criticize anyone who wants to create space, put on a hat with a bad style and set foot on 10 thousand feet, so that you will never be able to lift your head politically. Nowadays, men's world is vast, and their career space and emotional space are great. Moreover, men nowadays love to be leaders, and the worst thing is to be firefighters-what do leaders and firefighters do? The problem solver will only pay attention to you if you keep creating some problems. There's nothing wrong with you. He's so busy at work. How can you expect him to have time to miss you? Even children, you always don't let them disturb him. After a long time, the "intimate and private" relationship between him and his children will be completely lost and become a moral accessory. Then their life will be a great pity. Isn't it unwise to sacrifice yourself for everyone's shortcomings? So I advocate that modern women should be virtuous rather than virtuous. Semantically, virtuous and virtuous mean the same thing, that is, women are kind-hearted, reasonable and kind to people. But literally, it's quite different. Virtue is the same, that is, people have virtue and talent; However, Hui Hui is different. Hui means giving benefits to others, and Hui means being smart. A word difference is a thousand miles away. I think that modern women, as wives and mothers, can no longer blindly think about the virtue in the traditional sense. They must clearly realize that times have changed, and that virtue without wisdom can't keep up with development. They must have virtue and wisdom. For example, you can read men. Can you do it without a little wisdom? How cunning men are nowadays. Do you think he can be satisfied as long as he works hard, is reasonable and caring? Not necessarily! Maybe he thinks you are as virtuous as Xue Baochai, but not angry. He's not you. How did you know? Therefore, you can't treat a man's stomach with a little woman's heart. You should first see his attributes clearly, and then choose when to give him care and let him go, when to give him pressure and obligation, in what way and to what extent, and so on. Only by choosing the right way and scale can we say that we really have the ability to grasp marriage. For other women, too, we must first see the attributes of our husbands and then find out the corresponding countermeasures. If he is a person with a strong sense of responsibility and a heavy heart, you should learn the tradition, don't tell him a lot of things, carry it for him, and let him bear less burden, because such a man has the most conscience and knows how to be grateful; If he is not particularly responsible, but he is good at thinking and acting lazily, you should use your brains to mobilize his sense of responsibility, help him establish a sense of closeness with his children and constantly participate in his family. If he is selfish and has no sense of responsibility, then you can only ask yourself. When no one forced you with a knife, why did you choose to marry him? Still no one forced you to live with him. I don't believe that a person is born irresponsible or a vampire, otherwise you would never marry him. There must be something wrong with the cultural model and operation mode you have established. Didn't you see many men beat and scold their ex-wives, but they were condescending in front of mistresses? Why is there such a huge contrast between the same person and different wives? This is a question that women must think with wisdom. I once wrote an article saying that men need two women, one is a wife and the other is a confidante. One loves him and the other understands him. This is actually said from two emotional levels, because the traditional wife and mother can't meet men's greatest needs for women in many cases. The direct impact of this reality on the family is, how do women have the attributes of wife and confidante? How to combine the two? I am afraid this is something that only virtuous women can do. Among them, paying attention to the details of a man's life is no longer a woman's main task, because the additional work of each wife can actually be diverted through the role of nanny. You don't have to be able to wash dishes, cook and clean up the house. And the understanding and tacit understanding with his soul has become the most important core. Therefore, if you want a good marriage, you'd better not be a virtuous woman. Of course, it is not good to have wisdom without virtue. If you want to be a virtuous and intelligent woman, that is the highest realm of being a wife and your wisest choice.