With neat short hair and a delicate suit, this man looks like a noble duke, walking down the spiral staircase slowly, with a red wine glass in his hand, elegant and spotless. At the moment when the lazy former tune came in, everything seemed so harmonious with him. He walked in the song, stepped on the notes, swayed with the melody, and could not help but exclaim when he opened his mouth. The rare deep voice added some charm to the man.
I heard many different versions of this famous Spanish love song when I was at school in the early years, but his voice was too strong. Closing your eyes is really like being in a field in Spain at night. The lights on the roadside are dim and fuzzy, only the moon is big and round, illuminating the beautiful face of my lover. We listened to the bug singing and dancing in the field, then bowed our heads and kissed her fiery lips, fearing that life was short and things were unpredictable, so we had to pour all our feelings into it.
The same, the same,
Because this is the last time,
The same, the same,
I want to do one thing, do one thing
Kiss me, kiss me deeply,
It's like tonight is the last night,
Kiss me, kiss me deeply,
I'm afraid I'll lose you after tonight.
The tune gradually became impassioned, and finally returned to dullness, like a kiss from tenderness to biting and then to skimming the water. I was so immersed in that kiss that I didn't want to come out until the end.
I blame his voice for being too attractive and his eyes for being too charming. Even after listening to this song dozens of times, I still find it fascinating. But later, my attention gradually shifted from singing to him. Maybe I fell down before he made a sound. That man easily cheated me of my good feelings and all the compliments with his innate temperament.
I looked at his lips and thought, it must be very happy to get such a deep kiss.
Different from the expected meeting, I met Elvis Wang less than a week ago, and I was disgusted with him from the beginning.
First, I said I was too dark and old, and then I dressed inappropriately. In the end, even my slightly fat palm didn't escape his vicious attack. The key is that most of what this person said is still to the point, and I don't know how to refute it. In addition, the use of Chinese is not perfect, and the explanation is always not in place. Northeasters only "hurt" me from time to time like catching pigtails.
But to tell the truth, Elvis Wang's hands are really beautiful, slender, white and well-articulated. Since I started regular exercise three years ago, my body has gradually become stronger and my palms have become thicker and thicker. Making a fist looks quite round, and it doesn't explain anything. Being black and old is even more helpless. I just finished filming a film and television drama, not to mention that image is the need of the plot. Anyone who basks in the sun all day on the Inner Mongolia prairie is not allowed to have two wrinkles. But in terms of clothes, although I don't know where I get my confidence, I still feel that I can defend myself. When my brother Elvis Wang met, he began to greet him in his way. As a "routine", it has a strong northeast flavor.
"God, you are dressed like a bronze statue in the Eighteen Arhats."
"... you know, this color is very young. "
In fact, wearing orange clothes is not entirely to show youth, but simply like this color and look full of vitality at first glance. Men are happy when they hear the word "young". After that, I became more and more anxious and began to teach me how to dress to look young and not rustic.
"How can you say that? Let me see how well you can wear it? "
The man turned around in front of me with open arms, squinted at me and asked me how I was doing with a smile. Look down from the neckline inch by inch. The light-colored lining and dark gray striped coat just reveal the slender neck and attractive collarbone. The legs are black slim pants and Martin boots, which are particularly outstanding and the color matching is just right. Looking back at his smiling face, I couldn't speak, only knowing that I looked at those eyes in a daze and swallowed a mouthful of saliva unconsciously.
"Why are you stupid?"
"No, I think the Elvis Wang brothers are really ... handsome."
Fortunately, I changed my mind in time and didn't say "beautiful" and looked away with a quick laugh. When the man heard the compliment, he really gloated and continued to talk about his collocation essentials. I don't know. I just want to strip all those clothes clean.
"Do you really want to calm down? Are we a good match? "
The vicious northeast people still maintain their own consistent style, expressing their disgust at me all the time. Ironically, after a period of contact, they have gradually become accustomed to this mode of getting along-mutual loss. Although I can't beat him 80% of the time, I don't care who gets the upper hand after every familiarity.
The night I got the song, I went to a nearby pub on the grounds of discussing how to arrange it. I haven't drunk for many years, but it was a sunny night and many stars could be seen in the sky. It was the same night when I was a child in Inner Mongolia. The stars in the sky are beautiful, and I didn't have much chance to see them when I went to Beijing later. We set a table in front of the store, drinking and eating snacks while blowing the wind is not very real.
They are all eloquent people, and they can't stop after a few drinks. At first, they were still discussing how to change songs and how to build harmony. Later, when they talked about some emotional things, they recalled their childhood, and the age difference was not big. Talking about these is particularly resonant. The fun of hours is simple. I found my neighbor's children running and playing on the grassland, and my beautiful sister with long hair was teaching singing. Everyday life is herding sheep, riding horses and counting stars. I was emotional and he showed some envy. He talked about his days as a soldier in the army, his daily training, his relationship with his brothers and comrades, and the blue sky and the sea. He dug up a picture of him in a white military uniform and showed it to me. He is as firm and free as the seagull in the photo.
Simple life makes people live simply, without a lot of hypocrisy and fame. Although the simplicity at that time was far away from now, that kind of beauty has always remained in my heart. It's not easy to find a bosom friend at this age and in this environment. I feel a little sad at the end of the day. Of course, I am more fortunate to have the opportunity to meet, to be able to sit together like this and recall experiences and feelings that children will not have.
It's already one o'clock in the morning after drinking the last cup. When I returned to the hotel, I saw him to the door. Before I turned to leave, he suddenly grabbed me and said that he had a good idea to add a Mongolian sentence to the prelude. I can say anything. I thought it was good, too, so I just said something to him.
"Би чамд хайртай。"
"What do you mean?"
"It means good night." I lied.
That night was happy and warm, the evening breeze was good, the night scene was good and the people were good. As the lyrics say, if I could go back in time, even tonight.
What kind of impression you leave on a person may be influenced by many factors, such as appearance, such as manners, or just a subtle expression, but these are only applicable to the general nature of first meeting. In most cases, this impression will be constantly overturned and subverted in the later communication and replaced by new impressions.
When a person first came, it was really cold. He always smiles politely and gives pertinent advice to the younger generation with his unique deep voice. As a senior at the top of Meixi Lake, no one has seen him respectfully shout "Brother Elvis Wang", and I am no exception. Perhaps because there are too many children around, "old people" like to get together. On the one hand, they really don't have the energy of that young man. On the other hand, people of my own age are easier to communicate with, so I naturally stick to him whenever I have time.
I still clearly remember the first formal meeting. There is hardly anyone backstage who doesn't know him. Everyone shook hands with him in a gesture that might be respect or appreciation. His serious and dignified appearance is completely out of touch with the people around him, and he laughs so hard that he can't even find his eyes. After playing well, I found that this person is no different from a child. Although a man is not young, he still retains a lot of childlike innocence. He often inadvertently shows emotions and behaviors like a child. It's a little funny to see him in a serious way now. I also changed my address to him from elder brother to younger brother. Now I call him elder brother directly.
In the days when there is no shooting task, people often get together to sing and have a good time, and there is no need to choose any restaurants and hotels. They can order some takeout in someone's room and get together. We chose Kawako's room that day. Earlier, when I passed Brother Xi's gate, Chuanzi told me to take him with me. Naturally, I am willing, and I am willing before knocking.
When the man opened the door, he was a little shocked to see me. It seems that he never wanted me to go in and talk, mostly because he saw my doubts. He also explained that he had just taken a bath. He has been practicing songs with his children until late the day before, so his unwashed clothes are still scattered everywhere. After talking for a long time, he wanted to express the mess in the room. After being mentioned, I was more interested and forced to open the door. The room is not only a bit messy as he said, but it is not too much for a single room. I am a little happy to find that a person who is so particular at ordinary times is just an ordinary person who will be too lazy to pick up dirty clothes and throw them everywhere.
He only tied a towel around his waist, hung it loosely, and his hair was dripping with water, so he was in a hurry to put away all the shirts, socks and underwear scattered on the bed and sofa. My eyes couldn't help but sweep the lines of his upper body and calf muscles, and I suddenly regretted coming in.
Although it is in winter, the temperature in the room is extremely high, and now I even feel that the temperature is burning. I explained my purpose to him, and then hurried out to get some fresh air. I don't know if my words and actions are too stiff. I just hope that my burning eyes and uncontrollable feelings have not been seen by him.
Not in three months. On the last day of recording the program, everyone was very sad. The sentimental brothers couldn't help crying before saying goodbye. I can also be regarded as an emotional person. I always say whatever I want, and laugh happily when I want to cry. I was going to hold it no matter what happened, but I didn't hold it in the end. Being together for three months is enough to make many friends and let a relationship take root. Although this relationship has been trying to cover up and suppress, it is still trying to break through the ground and seek a ray of light that does not exist.
The night before I left the hotel, after dinner, I followed him back to my room and said to him, Brother Xi. The first song you sang here, can you sing it for me again?
He just touched the hand of the switch, paused, and finally didn't turn on the light. The man turned to face me until the door closed and there was no light at all. It is common to enter each other's rooms for months, but when they stand in the dark like this, they realize that there is really a difference, but for a while, no one spoke, so they stood in silence.
"Gazi ... brother and you can't ... do that."
Time seemed to stagnate for a year before he finally spoke. His voice is still deep and sexy. I don't know how to answer. I haven't finished a word for several times. The answer is predictable. This man usually likes joking, but when it comes to business, he is unambiguous, forbearing and rational, and he is never influenced by emotions, which is also my favorite part.
"All right, brother, I'll sing it for you."
Pupils gradually adapted to the darkness. I looked at his outline and pulled his wrist to sing alone. He didn't interrupt, but chose to listen to me quietly. After that, we hugged for a long time. I know I was rejected, but my heart is more relieved. I am really not good at cheating. Even if it is generously rejected, it is better than keeping it in your heart.
I pretended to be relaxed and told him not to take it to heart. It was no big deal, which made him feel that it was just a habit of living together. He was too reluctant to part with it, and he accepted my story. I turned on the light, looked at his beautiful cheek carefully, and finally left the room with a smile.
It is impossible to say that I don't feel bad. I owe this song to being so touching, but it's a pity that it only touched myself.
Fortunately, we still have a chance to meet.
I really know that there must be something called "fame" on the stage of the tour. The scene I never dreamed of has now come true. The huge venue was packed, and all the audience shouted and applauded enthusiastically for us. At this moment, there is a sense of pride that the world is at our feet. Of course, fame does not always bring happiness. The increasingly full schedule is one thing, and how to bear the love of fans is another.
For example, while traveling in Changsha, an old man named Elvis Wang asked his own questions while changing clothes backstage. "How can anyone shout' Baby, Mom loves you'? This is too embarrassing. " His brows were all wrinkled together, and his face was full of disgust and rejection.
"Brother Xi, you see that you are old and don't understand young people."
The crane tidied its hair and vomited naturally. He has always been good at it, but the man who was spit out was obviously dissatisfied with this answer and turned to look at me. Every time I talk about this topic, I can't avoid it. I just have a bad feeling that the next second will come true.
"To say old, this is older than me. Gazi, do you understand? "
A few people turned to me with a smile. I am used to being told by him that I have long since stopped arguing about age. I shook my head to show that I didn't understand, but I didn't feel uncomfortable. Maybe times are really different. Like this, no one dared to say it more than a decade ago, and it was so straightforward and even aggressive and powerful. But to be honest, I actually envy them in my heart, and I can shout out my love so loudly without scruple.
The conversation has turned to the next one. I am still chewing these two words repeatedly with the cuff links on my shirt, and the picture in my mind gradually shows the man's face clearly. Just try once. Once the idea is formed, it will get out of hand, and it will soon make my cheeks red and there seems to be something coming out of my throat.
"Hey again, get ready to go."
Before I came to my senses, the man patted me. I followed him on the court, and before I stepped onto the stage, I called a baby to people in a small voice. I'm not sure if he heard it, except that the cheers of the audience were drowned out by my heartbeat.
It's all because of the wine I drank the night before.
When I opened my eyes at 6: 30 in the morning, I only felt a splitting headache, but the reason was not that I had drunk too much the night before, but that I was annoyed because I did something wrong on impulse. The man next to him is still asleep, his upper body is light, and his chest is covered with traces like hickeys. I quietly opened the corner of the quilt with luck, and soon confirmed that the lower body was also light. Clothes and trousers are lying quietly on the ground, from the door to the bed. In the big bed room of the hotel, you can know what happened even if you think with your toes.
Maybe you just took it off and did nothing? Then I pulled out two used condoms under my waist.
The most terrible thing in the world is that you thought it was a dream, but it really happened. You still remember every detail. Perhaps the only thing I can thank is that I am wearing the clothes I should wear.
Maybe I was awakened by my actions. When a man who has always been calm wakes up and sees this scene, it is inevitable to show an embarrassed look. To tell the truth, I thought he would hit me, so I apologized to him without saying anything. The man stared at the floor beside him and remained silent for a while, but comforted me and said that everything was an adult's business. Now that things have happened, I am responsible.
But what he didn't know was that I wasn't completely drunk, and I even remembered the whole process from beginning to end. In order to avoid a physiological reaction in front of him in the early morning, I stopped remembering in time. The man looks pale, but he is surprisingly calm. I was about to say something, but he spoke before me.
"Gazi, let's pretend nothing happened."
After that, he didn't say a word, but stood up and picked up the clothes on the ground, shook off the dust and put them on his body. I just looked at him like a confused child. I don't know what to say or do to hide my guilt. I did what I always wanted to do to him in the name of alcohol, but even if it was just the joy of the night, I stole it. He never belonged to me.
"Xi brothers ..."
Finally, when he was dressed and ready to leave, I hugged him and gave him a tender kiss. The man pushed me away on his shoulder, packed my things and left. I kept repeating his name in my mouth as usual. Brother Xi, brother Xi, Elvis Wang …
When will you fall into my arms?
Life is still like this. I thought there would be no contact outside of work, but it seems that he really intends to pretend that nothing happened, but nothing has changed. After physical contact, the relationship seems to be pulled in. Even if there is no real progress since then, his attitude towards me has changed somewhat.
I sang "Old Times" for a long time in Xi 'an Baoli's performance. I don't know what his mood is. I'm excited anyway. I can see this from holding his hand for a long time. He probably didn't expect that I could hold it for so long, but I forced him to pull it by half. As expected, I received a warning from the cellist as soon as I got off the stage.
"Don't do this outside with me in the future."
I didn't refute that it was his first hand, but I found a breakthrough on the other hand. Although I agreed in silence, I followed him into the empty locker room, then touched his hand dishonestly and stood face to face with others. He can't stand the requirement that people stare at him. It would be better if his tone was softer. This is my experience and usual method.
"Brother Xi means when no one is around, right?"
He didn't say anything, so he took it as a default. I can't help holding people in my arms now. He gave a symbolic push twice and said what to do if someone came in. Whatever. I think I like hugging very much. The people in my arms are not as soft and fragrant as girls, but they are safe, powerful and warm. If I can, I really want to drown in this arms.
Physical contact is tacit, but it is also limited, provided that it is only possible when there are two people, holding hands is ok, kissing is moderate, and then forbidden. Even if sometimes two people react after kissing and touching, the man insists on the principle and can't continue to do it. Even if it's just this, it's already welcome for me. Everything is acceptable except the occasional physical overreaction.
I can't say whether this change is good or bad, but this inch of moonlight finally shines on me. I hold it carefully, afraid to break it in my dream, I hold it gently, I am afraid it will be melted by my passion, so I will hide it, because only in this way can I continue to be his close but unspeakable lover.
Since a year ago, busy work has become the norm. Although we are not in the same place, our contact has not diminished at all. As long as we meet every chance, we call when we have no time, even if we can only say a few words and then hang up in a hurry, we all feel happy.
After the year, the trip was slightly reduced, but it still did not change the busy status quo. After a day's work, it was already dark at night. The reminder day specially set for him on the mobile phone-4.9
Today is his birthday. But without him.
Thinking that it was a bit lonely, I lay in bed with my mobile phone and quickly turned out his WeChat. I pondered the wording for a long time before sending a message. "The elder brother of the normal. Today is your birthday. Happy birthday to you. Come out and get together when you are not busy at work. Don't be too tired. Go to bed early. " Then I added "бичамдхайртай", followed by "good night". The call came soon after it was sent out, and I stood up and cleared my throat in surprise and joy before I got through.
"Brother Xi, are you still awake?"
"Do you really think I don't know what you mean?"
He didn't answer me, but asked me directly, which made me very frustrated. It's time to tell him, but at this moment, I hesitated, recalled the little things we experienced, and took my feelings for him back to the table for examination. I don't know when he became an inch of moonlight, quietly accompanying me in the dark, bright and peaceful, but always warming me without any temperature. If I was attracted by his temperament and voice at first, then by his personality and quality, what am I attracted to now? Knowing that this is a relationship that can't provide any guarantee, it is doomed to have no result, and what do I want from it?
Reality makes me lose courage, perhaps for a little comfort, perhaps for a moment of stimulation, perhaps just for a moment of approval. But no matter how unbearable it is, it is a relationship, a feeling that doesn't care about giving and getting, a reckless feeling, and a feeling that won't regret it. No matter what I am attracted to, I will never know my feelings better than I do now.
"Brother Xi, open the door for me."
Forget the man's stunned expression, just look for the thin lips and kiss hard.
I don't know where the future road leads, but as long as you are by my side, no matter how difficult it is, I can get through it.