Therefore, when choosing the other half, many people pay more attention to each other's three views, but there are not so many requirements for the outside world, only the economic foundation determines the superstructure. If the material basis of two people is too different, it is easy for the low-ranking party to have psychological distortion and deviate from the original values.
People's psychology is actually very fragile, especially when self-esteem is frustrated. Some people will show indifference in order to hide their inner pain, while others will show their inner world without reservation and try to be an ordinary person for themselves. However, in the other person's eyes, you may be the person with low status from beginning to end.
Although it is important to reach an agreement on the three views, we can't ignore the family background gap between them. After all, marriage is not just about two people, but also about two families. Good marriage must respect each other. This respect not only refers to the respect between husband and wife, but also refers to the recognition of both parents.
Why do many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have contradictions? In most cases, it is because the mother-in-law looks down on her daughter-in-law and thinks that her daughter-in-law is not worthy of her son. In fact, if the woman's family background far exceeds the man's, her parents may not be able to respect him. Many times, parents compromise for the sake of their children.
When we choose a partner who is very different from our economic status, we should catch up more, instead of thinking that the other person is cheating, so we are responsive and insatiable people will eventually draw water with nothing.
They all say that "the more a mother-in-law looks at her son-in-law, the more she likes it." Although this is unreasonable, in real life, the treatment of son-in-law at home is indeed much better than that of daughter-in-law at home, because most parents still want son-in-law to be better to their daughters, and being good to son-in-law means being good to their daughters. However, there is always a person who takes others' kindness for granted, so he can ask for more.
Without that incident, Wan Li never thought that her boyfriend Li Jian was such an insatiable person. They met at a friend's party. At that time, Wan Li only felt that Li Jian was humorous and a gentleman, and he had a good impression on him. Coupled with Li Jian's active pursuit, they naturally got together.
Li Jian usually gives Wan Li the impression that he is a good man who is very motivated, filial and kind to his girlfriend. She always feels lucky. In this society, such a good man is a rare breed, what's more, Li Jian has a good job, so Wan Li really falls in love with Li Jian, and she will stay with each other even if her parents object.
But in fact, there are many gaps between two people, just because of different life backgrounds. Wan Li, who pursued freedom and equality since childhood, has just returned from studying abroad. She is an independent woman, and Li Jian, a poor child, grew up in the atmosphere of "the man is the master and the woman is the master", and he was deeply impressed by the way his parents get along. Even though she was attracted by Wan Li's independence, deep down, he still felt like a woman.
As the saying goes, "the authorities are lost, the bystanders are clear", especially in the matter of feelings. Many women are in it, only seeing the advantages of men, but ignoring many obvious shortcomings. However, they always resist other people's suggestions and think it is their prejudice. In fact, sometimes they can look at it rationally and find out the problem.
Marriage is not love, but a down-to-earth life, which needs mutual tolerance, mutual loyalty and never giving up. Pure congeniality cannot stand the test. Wanli's stubbornness made her parents quite dissatisfied and worried, so they had a plan to see how much this man loved their daughter.
Wanli's mother has been in poor health since she gave birth to Wanli. Wan Li's father gave up the idea of having a second child for his wife. Over the years, the couple have always been very loving and have no idea of having children again. Both of them gave their love to Wan Li. For Wan Li's life events, they naturally dare not treat sth lightly, and they don't want their daughter to get married. When they heard about Li Jian's family environment, they didn't dislike Li Jian, but even more.
Wan Li's father inquired about Li Jian. After hearing such a thing, he didn't dare to trust Li Jian easily. Li Jian once talked about many girlfriends, and even one girlfriend went to the company to keep him. It is said that the girl lost a child for him, and then it went away.
Probably good-looking and humorous, Li Jian has never lacked women, but he has never been dead set on any woman, and now he wants to marry his own daughter, which makes Wan Li's parents have to guard against it.
So when Li Jian first met his mother-in-law, they told Li Jian that if Wan Li had to be with him, they only had such a daughter, and there was nothing they could do. But they have a request that Li Jian should be adopted by his wife, and Li Jian quickly responded that Wan Li was moved to recognize him for Wan Li's sake. But in fact, this is not a very embarrassing thing for Li Jian, because he once dumped his poor girlfriend who was pregnant for him in order to get ahead. His younger brother was at home and his parents would not object too much. What he thinks in his mind is how to further enhance his career with the help of the influence of Wan Li's parents, and it still needs some strength to lay a solid foundation in this first-tier city. It is definitely not possible to fight alone, so he thinks it is nothing.
Just when he thought it was natural, Wan Li's parents asked to change his surname, and his heart became more and more dissatisfied. He learned that Wanli's parents had given her property and asked for notarization before marriage. He felt that he had suffered a loss, so he offered a dowry of one million yuan, and suggested that Wan Li's father would use his connections to promote him, saying it was reasonable. After all, his parents have raised themselves so much, which is compensation for their parents. Wanli's parents also think it makes sense, but it can also be seen that this man who keeps saying how much he loves his daughter has chosen more interests before interests. Wanli finally saw her love and understood her parents' good intentions, so she broke up.
Li Jian thought it was unfair to him, and he had to submit to humiliation for Wan Li's sake. Why can't Wan Li even agree to such a small request? Wan Li said she didn't blame him, but he wasn't the kind of person she wanted to marry. In fact, her parents don't really want him to be adopted, they are just testing him. I didn't expect him to show his true colors so soon. If he really loves her, in the face of such excessive demands from her parents, he should flatly refuse, because it is only for the benefit.
Li Jian was speechless and paused for a long time, muttering that he was only doing it for Wan Li, but false promises were often vulnerable in the face of facts, and Li Jian's insatiable nature was exposed in the face of facts.
What Wan Li's parents did was really disrespectful, but in fact, Li Jian had other more decent ways to fight back, but he chose to wronged himself, and the real reason for doing so was not for Wan Li, but for himself. Many women will lose themselves in love and be moved by the sacrifice of men. However, in fact, a man's sacrifice is sometimes just for himself, and moving you is just a move on the chessboard. As long as you are moved, he will be one step closer to his plan. A woman who is confused by love has to surrender when she meets such a man.
When a man compromises to no bottom line, it shows that he has a greater desire in his heart. True love has a bottom line, but whoever crosses the bottom line must be clothed with "true love" and contain ulterior motives.
When two people are together, they must be based on sincere feelings, so as to last for a long time. Otherwise, no matter how good it is, it will be exposed one day, because once people's greed is satisfied, it will expand and want more. When the interests are exposed to each other, this relationship is in jeopardy and will collapse at any time.
A man can be kind to you for a while, but not necessarily for a lifetime. When we choose the other half, we can't judge whether the other side is worthy of relying on this alone. What can keep a man virtuous forever must be his character, so if this man's character is controversial, even if he is good to you, he can't marry.
A man can be kind to you in order to get you, or he can throw you away at will after getting you. Men's promises are cheaper. Maybe the moment he said was sincere, but it doesn't mean forever. Therefore, women must see each other's personality clearly in their feelings, and don't be blinded by each other's good moments. It was a lifetime of happiness.
If the other person doesn't even have the courage to refuse unreasonable demands, how can he bring you happiness? When we encounter this situation, many people will feel wronged for the man, and even think that it is not too much for the man to ask for a dowry of one million, but it also proves how utilitarian the man's sincerity is.
And excessive demands have always been put forward by the woman's parents. The woman doesn't know, and even wants to go against her parents' wishes for the man. However, men always think of benefits. In fact, he doesn't agree with the other parents' request, and he can stay with the woman. He will only lose a good opportunity to get the recognition of the other parents through hard work, so he chose to give in, but at the same time he was not reconciled, so he directly put forward his own requirements and had to be exposed.
Many people told me, "Even if you are right, you will meet love rat." That's right! Therefore, I have always emphasized the correct personality. When a woman chooses the other half, she can look at the other person's economic conditions, but she must look at the other person's personality. what do you think?