In the process of how to deal with the marriage crisis, the following two stages are very important: 1 There are two stages in crisis management. One is self-public relations, actively seeking help from family and friends. However, it should be noted that the opinions of family and friends have their limitations, and they often stand on their own side and cannot look at the problem objectively. The second stage is to seek the help of professionals. 2. Avoid extreme emotions and face up to the destructive power after the crisis. The handling of emotional crisis is an important stage, and it is also a critical period of public relations between the two sides. These extreme emotions are aimed at themselves and at each other. The public relations focus on extreme emotions is: don't let conflicts intensify and stay calm. 3, after the crisis, make a full assessment of the crisis, not every crisis is fatal. First of all, calm down and rationally look at what is the essential problem reflected by the crisis, whether it is the cause of divorce, and whether it will lead to the death of marriage. Marriage is full of crises, but more than half of couples can survive these crises. Don't reject their marriage quality and happiness easily because of a crisis. 4. Learn to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Why don't you agree to this question? Because the two sides have different growth experiences, values and living habits, you have differences and try to tolerate and understand each other. Avoid: 1, dealing with problems with extreme emotions. 2. As far as the matter is concerned, this is a contradiction between husband and wife, who are biased towards each other and often say "forever", "you forever", "forever" and "consistent". 3, haggle over every ounce, thinking that forgiving each other is cheap. In fact, forgiving each other is also giving yourself a chance. The common crisis of husband and wife-regret for the affair-selfish wife "lost" her husband. Before getting married, Xiao Na was a civil servant and had a house in Chengdu. Shortly after marriage, she followed her husband to the north and became a full-time wife. She sold the house in Chengdu, but only took out 30 thousand yuan to buy a house with her husband in Beijing. Raising a wife, children and a house, the burden of life is on Zhang Ping alone. Zhang Ping is in poor health and often coughs at night. He felt that his wife was inconsiderate. Xiao Na, who is preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination while taking care of her children, is very tired during the day and often wakes up by her husband at night, and she is also very upset. Xiao Na was successfully admitted to the graduate school, took away 30,000 yuan, and the couple began to separate. However, when Xiao Na went home for vacation, the property management of the community told her that Zhang Ping was having an affair ... Comments: Xiao Na felt that she was the victim of this extramarital crisis. But in essence, Zhang Ping had an affair, which highlighted his dissatisfaction with the existing marriage, and Xiao Na was responsible for it. Xiao Na is selfish in her marriage. Economically, after she sold the house in Chengdu, she only took out a small part of it to buy a house with her husband in Beijing, and took away the 30 thousand yuan after being admitted to graduate school. Second, I don't care much about Zhang Ping in my life. A person's love for himself should be limited, too selfish, and marriage will go wrong sooner or later. An affair can be divided into several situations, one is dissatisfaction with marriage, the other is meeting someone who makes you move, and the third is that you can't overcome your desire for a while. If trouble can't solve the problem, both husband and wife should first ask themselves what I have done for this family, what I haven't done and what I can do. The injured party should show its attitude, not just tolerate it. If you choose to forgive, you should adjust your mentality, and don't turn over old scores when there are contradictions, making yourself unhappy and the other party unhappy. The greatest enemy in life is yourself. When you choose to forgive, you must first overcome your inner obstacles. When such problems arise, the injured party is often also responsible. While being economically independent, women should learn to love themselves and keep up with the development of society. Only by keeping pace with her husband can we communicate and share each other's happiness and pain. Successful archives learn to vent, facing Feng Youen's loving husband and lovely children. 10 years of married life is warm, happy and perfect. When she accidentally found out that her husband was cheating, a strong sense of humiliation, frustration and injustice led to a family crisis. Under the influence of extreme emotions, Feng had a strong voyeuristic desire for her husband's behavior. She is eager to know each other's words and deeds, but under the psychological defense strategy of self-protection, she always likes to say, "I don't care what you do." "I don't want to hear it." Maybe she didn't even realize it. She just swallowed her dissatisfaction and hatred. However, concealment does not mean that contradictions disappear. On the contrary, superficial forbearance leads to estrangement between husband and wife. Under the guidance of professional psychological counselors, Feng gradually eased his extreme emotions and made a self-evaluation of this marriage crisis: the husband still loves himself, has a strong sense of responsibility for the family, and is full of feelings for the family. From the perspective of human nature, there are animals in people. In the face of temptation, it is difficult to say "no" to temptation when people's thinking rationality can't restrain the animality of the body. From this perspective, she tolerated her husband's infidelity. She feels that there is no perfect marriage in the world, and this little flaw is not enough to ruin happiness for more than ten years. Moreover, even if the marriage breaks up, she may not be able to find happiness again. After making such a crisis assessment, Feng no longer endured her pain, but learned to vent and face the injury calmly with her husband. Fortunately, their marriage is tolerant enough for this kind of venting ... Sima Zhu Hua commented: Just because a husband has an affair doesn't mean that his wife is worse than that woman. Often in a strong sense of frustration, the wife thinks that she is worthless and useless. Everyone is animalistic, and it is often difficult to control the temptation. If he still has a sense of responsibility to his wife and the family, his wife should be moderately tolerant, but he should vent his pain and let his husband know. Going to the other company stinks and going to the circle of friends ... These extreme emotions will push the relationship between husband and wife further and further. The consequences of crash and burn are often at the expense of happiness for the rest of my life. Learn to deal with the crisis and take care of your marriage. Marriage crisis is generally divided into two parts. One is related to the feelings between husband and wife, such as the exclusiveness of love and the appearance of an affair. Second, it is related to other social factors, such as economy, disease and social relations. Generally speaking, there are these emotional crises: betrayal of one spouse; Family economic disharmony leads to the destruction of husband-wife relationship; Different views on children's education damage the feelings of husband and wife; Because of sudden illness, the other party needs to pay more time and energy to take care of it ... Many couples deal with the crisis with intense emotions in the crisis stage, which is extremely destructive and harmful, laying a hidden danger for the crisis management. Of course, not every crisis is fatal. In the eyes of professionals, many divorces can be avoided. However, small crises can not be effectively handled and channeled, and accumulated to a certain "ignition point", which may lead to a catastrophe of marriage. Every modern person who pursues the quality of marriage life should learn to do a good job in public relations for his marriage with reason and wisdom. Even if the final evaluation shows that the crisis has completely destroyed the marriage, only after dealing with the crisis and finding the crux of the problem can we really get out of the crisis and avoid repeating the same mistakes. Because the biggest enemy in life is not others, but yourself. Many crises in husband-wife relationship have a slow accumulation process. If we can detect and intervene early, we can nip many crises in the bud. Tells such a case. A woman and her husband started a company together, but her husband asked her to study abroad and bring back modern business management experience. After going abroad for 4 years, the lady found that her husband had transferred a lot of assets and she could not get involved in the operation of the company. Soon after, the husband filed for divorce. Experts said that in fact, this marriage crisis was forewarned, but the lady did not receive the signal from the other side. Shortly after she went abroad, her husband dismissed her relatives who worked in the company. If she can notice, she will know that it is unwise to go abroad at this time. In marriage, we must pay attention to receiving each other's information and carefully manage the relationship with the other half. Secondly, women should keep forging ahead. If a woman is compared to a stock, the increase must reach its peak between the ages of 20 and 30, and then it will show a downward trend. At this time, things inside are often attracted to each other. The common crisis of husband and wife is not strong, which determines everyone's character and destiny, including his views on love, marriage and family, including the mode of husband and wife getting along with each other and the mode of dealing with marriage crisis. Sima Zhu Hua believes that the marriage mode of parents has a great influence on their children's marriage. It will lead to alienation or assimilation of children's understanding of marriage. Assimilation can be regarded as an unconscious imitation, while alienation is a child's attempt to express himself in his own way, but its essence can still be traced back to his parents' marriage problems. For example, parents often quarrel, and children may unconsciously imitate this mode of getting along with each other in their marriage, or they may be particularly afraid of quarreling and avoid quarreling. But quarreling is only a communication channel, and closing this communication channel is not conducive to the counseling of bad emotions in marriage. Unfortunately, who will wash the dishes is also a problem. Li Guoqing is a department manager, and his wife Wang Wei is the head of a foreign company. The seemingly happy couple have been arguing about who will do the dishes for half a year. The dishwashing crisis has escalated into a matter of principle between husband and wife, and no one is willing to give in. After the intervention of professionals, it is found that the problem of washing dishes reflects the marital disharmony. Li Guoqing always said that this is a matter of principle, and his control in marriage is the most important thing. Housework should be done by his wife. If he does, he will lose face and control of his family. After in-depth communication with Li Guoqing, psychologists found that Li Guoqing's parents also emphasized the control of the other half in their marriage. Sima Zhu Hua commented: When there is a crisis in marriage, the most important thing is to find the essence of the crisis. In this case, the seemingly trivial dishwashing incident almost led to the disintegration of the marriage. This is not a simple event, but touches the core of marriage: whether to take self-feeling as the core or to be willing to pay and take care of each other's feelings. Li Guoqing deliberately created an atmosphere in which women obeyed him and drowned their personality in marriage. This conceited personality led to an insurmountable marriage crisis. Moreover, even if they divorce, Li Guoqing may still repeat this failure in the next marriage. The common crisis between husband and wife is that three families are involved in love, but marriage is the sum of the social relations of two families. One of the characteristics of oriental marriage is that parents interfere too much in their children's marriage, and family-style intervention has a great influence on marriage. Whether the relationship between two families can be handled well will often affect the quality of marriage. When the other party has a conflict with his family, which affects the relationship between husband and wife, the love of two people can't solve all the problems. In the protracted tug-of-war between affection and love/zyfw/ybsw/2711348.html, both sides hurt the sandwich in the name of love. The ambiguous attitude of sandwich people is hard to choose, which often hurts family and love at the same time. When the doctor solved the confinement/zyfw/ybsw/2711254.html, Xiaomei had a conflict with her mother-in-law. In the later days, she was sensitive to find that her husband was better to his family than to hers and listened to her sister's advice too much. Once, she overheard her husband and mother-in-law/zyfw/ybsw/271178.html and her sister chatting privately in the living room, which hurt her. She feels very uncomfortable. She thinks that in her husband's eyes, blood relationship is closer than husband and wife, and family has a greater influence on her husband. In contrast,/zyfw/ybsw/2711098.html, she is just an outsider in this family. Xiaomei felt hurt and became so sensitive to the contact between her mother-in-law, her sister and her husband that when she saw three people talking, even when her sister called her husband/zyfw/ybsw/2711060.html, she felt extremely disgusted and disgusted in a conditioned way, and her extreme emotions could not be controlled. Because the husband is not good at dealing with the contradiction between his wife and family, the relationship between husband and wife is getting worse and worse. The husband took Xiaomei to see a psychiatrist. The doctor told Xiaomei that some things should be ignored, but some things can be ignored. Xiaomei's anxiety is actually a kind of insecurity/zyfw/ybsw/271kloc-0/034.html, which is not only related to her husband and family, but also related to her financial independence. At the same time, Xiaomei's husband didn't handle the relationship between affection and love, and avoiding it could not solve the problem. With the help of many professionals, Xiaomei gradually put down her doubts and made efforts to achieve economic independence. Sima Zhu Hua comments: Many couples hurt each other deeply and are out of control. It is often a pity that they just want to make up for it, but their misunderstanding and distrust are so deep that we often feel helpless. In this case, Xiaomei's husband is the key. Facing the contradiction between family and wife, what she should do is not to avoid it, but to face the problem calmly with her wife. Fortunately, they handled the crisis as early as possible and eased the contradiction with the help of the outside world, but it was themselves who could really resolve the contradiction.