Lies changed the naughty boy.
According to Fan Li, a retired teacher from a primary school in Harbin, as an educator, in education, teachers always insist on actively guiding children and try their best to instill some positive thoughts and good behavior habits into students. Don't tell lies, be honest and trustworthy. However, sometimes white lies can achieve unexpected results.
"I once had a class, and there was a boy who was active. In class, he either moves here and there or whispers with his deskmate. I am young and energetic. So, every time after class, I always call him to the office to lecture him, and every time I get tougher. I thought at that time that the child's bad behavior must be severely reprimanded before it will converge. However, who knows that he still obediently admitted his mistake in front of me, and his attitude was sincere. The next day, he did the same thing in class. I see it in my eyes and hate it. After such a period of time, I feel like a failure, and I have been thinking about how to treat this naughty boy whenever I have time. Later, I thought, if the hard one doesn't work, just try the soft one. Maybe this boy is a donkey, so one day after class, I invited him to the office as usual. This time, instead of keeping a straight face, I smiled and warmly invited him to sit in a chair and chat with me. He was puzzled by my intention. I smiled and said to him,' The teacher found that your grades have improved recently, your homework has been written faster, and your discipline has improved a lot. Teachers like you more and more. I knew you were a persistent young man, and you could do whatever you wanted. If you can make continuous progress and listen carefully in class, you will definitely become the best among your classmates. "
Teacher Li said, "Since then, this naughty boy has really changed, and my white lies have played a role in him. He doesn't move in class, his big eyes always follow the teacher, and sometimes his deskmate wants to talk to him, but he stops with his eyes. After class, he spread his happiness. He has an active brain and many skills. He doesn't fool around with others like before, and his classmates like to play with him. Later, the student was admitted to a key middle school in the city, which surprised all teachers and his parents. Now in my thirties, I started my own company and developed very well. Every time he comes back to see me and talks about what happened that year, he is very happy and emotional. "
White lies help students get out of trouble
According to Teacher Li, since white lies have had an effect on Tao Xiaozi, she always weaves some white lies to stimulate students' psychological potential and help them regain their confidence and get out of trouble.
Teacher Li said: "I saw that once naughty child had a little restraint, so I told him: You are more and more obedient, and teachers and classmates like you more and more." Hearing this, he was all smiles at once. In fact, this student often makes trouble and many students don't play with him. When I saw a poor student's handwriting improved a little, I told him: your handwriting is getting better and better, and you will soon surpass someone else. Hearing this, he was immediately elated. In fact, it is not easy for him to surpass that classmate in calligraphy; When I heard the introverted student talking loudly in class, I told him: Your voice is really beautiful and touching. Teachers like to listen. Hearing this, he frowned at once. In fact, his voice is not good at all, let alone moving; When I saw a student who had been on sick leave for more than a month, afraid that she would miss a lot of classes and she was upset, I said to her: You are a serious and down-to-earth child. Don't lose heart. The teacher believes that you will keep up with the big team. After listening to my words, she seemed to be reassured and settled down to study. In fact, she has been absent from class for so long that even I am not confident that she can catch up. When I saw that a student who never recited the text could finally recite a short text, I lost no time in praising her: You can recite the text. With the first time, there will be a second time and a third time. The teacher believes that you will recite more texts! She was very happy and recited more vigorously. Although she is often left behind by the teacher because she can't recite the text in the future. "
According to Teacher Li, many teachers use these lies in the teaching process, which strengthens the self-confidence of many students who encounter problems and difficulties in their studies and helps them overcome them one by one. In fact, behind these white lies are teachers' deep love and sincere encouragement to their children.
"Hawthorne effect" can cultivate talents
This method used by teacher Li is called "Hawthorne effect" in psychology, that is, the performance or effort rises due to extra attention.
It is understood that the discovery of "Hawthorne effect" comes from a failed management research. 1924165438+10 In October, the National Research Council of the United States organized a research group headed by Mayo, a psychologist from Harvard University, and entered the Hawthorne factory of Westinghouse Electric Company. Their original intention is to try to find ways to improve labor productivity by improving external factors such as working conditions and environment. They randomly selected six female workers in the relay workshop as the observation objects. In the seven-stage experiment, the host constantly changed the factors such as lighting, salary, rest time, lunch, environment, etc., hoping to find out the relationship between these factors and productivity-this is the viewpoint insisted by traditional management theory. But unfortunately, no matter how the external factors change, the production efficiency of the experimental group has been rising.
Later, this confusing result triggered a management revolution. After nine years of experiments and research, scholars finally realized that people are not only stimulated by external factors, but also have their own subjective incentives, thus giving birth to the theory of management behavior, and began to regard people as "people" rather than attachments to machines. As far as Hawthorne's experiment is concerned, when these six female workers were taken out as a group, they realized that they were a special group, the object of the experiment and the object that these experts have been paying attention to. This feeling of attention makes them work harder to prove that they are excellent and worthy of attention.
According to reports, the "Hawthorne effect" is extremely common in school education, and most people in the education sector know such a typical case. In foreign schools, every student will take an intelligence test when entering school, and according to the results of the intelligence test, students will be divided into excellent classes and ordinary classes. Results In a routine inspection, it was found that a group of students who entered school a year ago had their test scores reversed because of some mistakes, which means that the excellent classes now are actually children in ordinary classes, while the really smart children are in ordinary classes. However, this year's course performance is the same as in previous years, and the excellent class is obviously higher than the ordinary class, without exception. Originally, ordinary children were regarded as top students and thought they were excellent. Extra attention and psychological hints make the ugly duckling really become a white swan.
"Hawthorne effect" tells people that from the perspective of others, white lies can really make a person. From your own point of view, you can be who you think you are.
The teacher's lies ruined his son's life.
Marx said that there are two kinds of lies, one is evil and the other is beautiful. Mr. Gao, who came to Beijing to do business in Kazakhstan, said that his son's primary school teacher had woven a beautiful lie that year, so that his son had a happy childhood and a healthy mind.
Mr. Gao is from Beijing. More than ten years ago, he divorced his wife and went to Harbin to open a big hotel. At that time, his son was only two years old and came to Harbin with him. Although my son sometimes asks where his mother is, he always asks Mr. Gao to prevaricate on the grounds that "my mother works in other places". The son gradually felt something, but the sensible son never asked. Later, when children go to school, they are always picked up by Miss Gao or the nanny at home.
"One day, I took my son to school. A boy in my son's class pointed to him and told other students that Gao Jiao had no mother. At that time, many students heard it, and everyone smiled and stared at my son. My son stood there looking at me, and I didn't know how to explain it to him at the moment. At this time, the head teacher, Miss Qin, came over. She calmly and kindly said to my son and everyone,' Gao Jue, your mother just called the teacher. She heard the weather forecast that the weather will change today and asked you to put on more clothes. She was afraid that your father would be too busy, so she called me specially. Seeing that everyone was watching her become speechless, Teacher Qin went on to say,' Gao Jue's mother is working abroad, and she is too busy and too far away to come back. Gao Jue, you should study hard and go abroad in the future so that you can accompany your mother every day. "After listening to the teacher, the students believed and dragged each other into the classroom." Mr. Gao said that he saw his son's surprised eyes and felt his eyes moist.
Since the teacher said this, Mr. Gao's son has become much more cheerful and happy, and he has worked hard. When my son was in the second grade, Mr. Gao remarried. So he said to his son, "Your mother has come back from abroad." My son believed it and got along very closely with his stepmother who looks like his mother in the photo. There is no gap between them. He is like his mother and son. Because her son has no prejudice against herself, the stepmother treats her children as her own, takes care of their daily lives, helps them with their homework and plays with them. The child grew up healthily and was admitted to a famous university.
After graduating from college, Mr. Gao's son was admitted to an American university, which realized his little wish when he was a child: his mother would go abroad to work in the future, and he could also go with him and visit his mother often. "Later, I told my son the truth. He was also distressed that he was cheated that year, but he also understood and understood the good intentions of Teacher Qin that year." Many years later, Mr. Gao talked about these things and was still grateful to Mr. Qin.
We should grasp the "degree" of white lies
Zhao Qingfu, director of the Institute of Basic Education of Heilongjiang Academy of Educational Sciences, also has his own views on the application of white lies in family or school education. Director Zhao said that the use of white lies will play a very good role in encouraging education. It can tap children's inherent advantages, affirm their bright spots in time, avoid the intensification of conflicts between teachers and students or between parents and children, protect children's self-esteem and enhance their self-confidence. We don't object to parents and teachers taking encouraging children as the starting point and adopting the strategy of white lies to stimulate children's learning enthusiasm under special circumstances. However, whether malicious or well-intentioned, a lie is a lie after all. Lying is always discouraged by us, and it is also against moral norms. When using these white lies, we must use them according to the situation and people. Because even lies will be exposed one day. If children comfort themselves with lies regardless of their affairs, it will have negative effects, but they will be troubled by deception and fooling because they know the truth many years later.
Director Zhao emphasized that educators and parents should give priority to the correct and positive guidance and education of their children. White lies can be used as a strategy, but we must grasp a "degree".
I hope this information can help you! ! !