First, the nature of love
Love is as long as human history, and there are various opinions about love, while Socrates, an ancient Greek philosopher, told a meaningful myth to explain the unique love phenomenon of human beings: in ancient times, men and women were one, round as wheels, with four hands, four feet, one head and two sides. When you start, your hands and feet spread out in all directions, rolling on the ground like spokes of a wheel, as fast as a whirlwind. This shift is so powerful that animals have to avoid it. They dominate the earth and want to compete with Zeus, the god of gods. After learning this, Zeus thought hard and finally came up with a good idea: divide them into two parts, men and women, and merge them into one. Men and women whose intelligence and physical strength are greatly reduced want to connect their limbs and relive their old dreams all day. "Each half is eager to pounce on the other half and strongly hopes to be one", which is called "love". The love we are talking about today is not only an instinctive impulse to "strongly hope to be integrated", but more importantly, it refers to the strong, lasting and single-minded feelings between a man and a woman. They admire each other and are eager to be lifelong partners. It has the following characteristics:
(1) Love each other. Su Shi, a writer in the Northern Song Dynasty, wrote in Qin Shi: "If there is a piano sound on the piano, why not put it in a box?" If the sound is on your fingers, why not listen to it on your fingers? "This poem says that only the combination of subject and object can become art, and in the same way, love is also a string plucked by two hearts. In the process of love, the two sides are always in an equal and free position. True love can't be forced, only on the premise of mutual love. Unilateral love, whether it is a faint tear or a persistent beating, is not true love.
(2) purity. In love, there should be no interference from other external factors or some additional conditions. Love is a lover. If money, family background and power are taken as the basis of love, it will defile the purity of love and vulgarize the sacred and noble feelings.
(3) selflessness. American psychologist ehrlich? Fromm pointed out in his book The Art of Love that love is actively given, not passively received. Therefore, loving someone means that you are willing to give everything for his happiness. Only selfless dedication can make love more holy.
(4) specificity. Love is a noble spiritual life, which contains unique feelings and obligations and can only exist between two people. The great educator Tao Xingzhi once vividly said: The wine of love is sweet and bitter. Two people drink nectar, three people drink sour and vinegar, and if they drink it casually, they will be poisoned. So once men and women fall in love, they will ask for loyalty to each other. Love triangle and multi-angle love are blasphemies against love.
(5) insist. Love is not a temporary emotional impulse, but a lasting feeling. The persistence of love is manifested in the deepening, enrichment and perfection of love, just as Shakespeare said: true love will not change because of the environment; True love cannot be erased by time; True love brings us joy and happiness.
Second, from a philosophical point of view of college students' love
It is based on the correct understanding of the true meaning of love that the love of college students is mostly the true love of like-minded two of a kind. But from a philosophical point of view, college students' love will present multiple three-dimensional images.
(1) protracted war and quick decision theory-the gradual and leaping nature of love
In this era of speed, the establishment and end of feelings have also become "flash". Some college students lack enough patience for the traditional and protracted war, and begin to choose "flash love" and "flash love", which means that two people quickly establish a close love relationship after they know each other. This speed is even as fast as a few days. Lightning love, although it meets their immediate needs for feelings, may also bring new confusion. Because they don't know each other and lack a solid emotional foundation, the temperature of feelings rises sharply and drops rapidly, which can be described as "love is also in a hurry, and kicking is also in a hurry", and finally only ends up as "helpless lovers leave, and old Yan silently tears". In fact, it takes a long time from communication to love.
1. Love needs physical and psychological maturity. In love, people will intentionally or unintentionally show their strengths to each other and hide dark things, and the "halo effect" will also let us cover up our shortcomings, beautify ourselves, and even regard shortcomings as strengths. As the saying goes, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", the result is that we can't know each other truly and completely. Therefore, it is not surprising that this fast-food "flash love" died.
2. Love needs a running-in process. It takes a running-in process to establish intimate relationship with lovers, but many people are afraid of this running-in, the long running-in period, and the problem of "grinding without harmony" or even "grinding", so they hope to get it quickly, simply and effortlessly. In fact, this is only a low-level satisfaction of emotional needs, and it is a pragmatic way of love. Therefore, if you want to get a beautiful love, you must be prepared to fight a protracted war.
(2) the theory of "everlasting"-the process and result of love.
Today, it seems to some college students that the pursuit of eternity is a luxury. Some people say that college students' love has entered a brand-new stage-the experience era, that is, after experiencing the planned love era for the purpose of marriage and the procedural love era from love to breakup, it has now entered the experience era of taking the initiative. Taking "once owned" as the goal, taking love as an experience, an accumulation of experience, and even summing up 36 plans in love, love becomes "practical love". What is the love motive of this kind of experiential love?
1. Love is just a need. Since the date of entering the university, Gao
The heavy burden brought by the exam was forgotten. In order to be addicted, to supplement experience for answers, of course, we must fall in love. Some people say: college years, do not love white or love. In order to accumulate experience, the tactic of "shooting a gun and changing places" is often adopted. In their words, "Qian Qian, the son and daughter of the Chinese nation, is absolutely impossible to change this."
2. In order to fill the loneliness of life. "The bright line is at the foot of my bed, and there are a pair of figures, but I am alone, and my heart is in a panic." So they summed up the first law of love, which is "empty+empty = not empty". Someone said, "Love, I don't feel it. We just form a support group to pass the boring time together. " It is not difficult to see that for these students, love is only a temporary emotional fill-in.
3. Follow the crowd. Campus love is very infectious. Some classes will not be taught for the time being, but a group of people will be talking after a while. Some dorms are not courting, while others are in love. If someone doesn't understand, then everyone will go to collect firewood, but in a few days, they will be completely enlightened.
4. In order to prove your strength. If a student has many suitors of the opposite sex, it shows that he or she is very powerful, attractive and popular, so some students join the love army in order to prove that they are not unsalable goods. As everyone knows, when the motivation of love is no longer pure, love will become unrecognizable. (3) On Watermelon and Sesame —— Primary and Secondary Contradictions in Love
The coexistence of love, study and friendship is just an ideal of college students. The fact is that once many people fall in love, it is "I only have eyes for you". Because there is no distinction between primary and secondary, it brings many problems to college students. 1. Affect your studies. Some people say that love is an elective course. As an elective course, I haven't heard of any students losing their credits because they didn't take the exam. On the contrary, many students give up their studies because they are too involved. Just think, close contact all day, learning will only stand by.
2. Affect friendship. College students are eager for both love and friendship. However, if you look around at the lovers on campus, which one is not "haggard for Iraq" during the day, "on the evening after dinner, people make appointments" and "reminisce about the beauty in a few dreams" at night. The relationship between the two people is so close that the needle can't go in and the water can't splash in. Where can I put my friends?
3. Material input. The love of college students, like the love of social youth, needs cost input. The input of these costs, in addition to non-material factors, is material factors. Non-material factors include time, energy, feelings and freedom, and the input of material factors is various expenses. Some students from poor families have to scrimp and save, and their lives are naturally stretched. Some students even took the road of breaking the law and committing crimes. It should be said that college students are in a stage of evolution and variability, and there are too many undecided factors. If you rashly embark on the road of love at this time, I'm afraid you will only be left with the song "A little haggard face, tears in your eyes and tired lips". In view of this, college students may wish to wait until their psychological development is relatively mature, their social experience is relatively rich and their economy is relatively independent, and then open their other half's heart and enjoy the sweetness of love.