Nowadays, there are more and more China students studying at Yale University.
However, the president of Yale University once expressed his personal opinion that "although China students are smart, I prefer Indian students because they can integrate well into the group".
This view is full of individualism, but it also points out a major drawback of our students: EQ education.
Comparison of EQ Education between China and India
There is a key point in President Yale's words, and that is "integration into the group".
Although Peter Salovey, president of Yale University, affirmed the excellent achievements of China students, they lost in the lack of "soft power"-EQ. Compared with Indian students, they are more "partial".
China students are introverted, thin-skinned and taciturn, giving people a feeling of being withdrawn. On the other hand, Indian students show extensive enthusiasm. They are not afraid of losing face, but also dare to express their ideas and opinions, which enables them to integrate into the group quickly.
For this phenomenon, Chen Zhiwu, a famous professor of lifelong finance at Yale University and Peking University School of Economics, bluntly criticized:
The way of thinking is so rigid and paranoid, and the social skills are so poor. Apart from my narrow major, I don't know how to deal with people and express myself, which makes me very sad. "
In the process of cultivating children in China, parents pay attention to their children's achievements, but ignore their interpersonal communication and emotional intelligence education. This also leads to excellent academic performance of children, but other aspects are not satisfactory. When parents regret it, it is difficult for children's emotional intelligence to improve.
What should the neglected EQ education do?
First, improve self-awareness.
I save myself three times a day. -"Learning the Analects of Confucius"
Self-knowledge is our basic ability as human beings, which allows us to look at ourselves calmly, objectively and rationally. This part is influenced by self-awareness and external factors. Parents' evaluation, reprimand, praise and encouragement will all impact children's self-awareness.
Ma Yun once expressed the view that "always believe that people around you are smarter than you", that is, to maintain a self-deprecating mentality, neither too arrogant nor too inferior. This is also the most basic self-awareness ability.
Second, learn to manage emotions.
The key period of emotional intelligence training is 3-6 years old, but this is also the period when children's emotions are most easily out of control.
Parents should teach their children to recognize emotions as soon as possible. For example, when a child loses his temper, let him describe his feelings at this time and tell him what kind of emotion it is.
It is more important to teach children how to deal with emotions, rather than children losing their temper and parents losing their temper.
Third, the emotional ability of * * *
* * * Emotional ability, that is, let children learn to put themselves in other's shoes.
This ability can be cultivated when parents accompany their children to watch cartoons and movies. After watching it, they can ask their children, "Why do you think the character * * did that?" "What would you think if you were a villain?" Guiding children to think about roles through similar questions is actually an exercise of empathy.