What is empathy? Empathy refers to "the ability to feel others' emotions, understand others' thoughts, stand in others' perspective and think for others when you can distinguish yourself from others".
Some people translate empathy into empathy, and even directly understand it as compassion. The two are actually different. Compassion is to understand the feelings and experiences of people in need, so that we have the impulse to help others. But empathy is the understanding of each other's psychological state, including not only their own emotions, but also their own thoughts, desires and action tendencies. Sometimes it also includes worries and expectations about each other, hoping that they will be happier. There are many idioms describing empathy in China, such as empathy, empathy, empathy and empathy. These all refer to our recognition, understanding and feelings about other people's emotions, desires, action tendencies and psychological activities.
Why do we need empathy (the neuroscience basis of empathy)?
From an evolutionary point of view, it is difficult for human beings to defeat those beasts that are much stronger than us by themselves. Only by uniting and helping each other can Qi Xin work together to defeat those natural enemies who are after us and let human beings survive and multiply. This kind of Qi Xin cooperation needs to know the thoughts, intentions and action tendencies of its peers.
? Five ways to cultivate children's empathy
? First, guide children to pay attention to the feelings of others.
? When a child does something wrong, I believe that every parent has his own methods of discipline, such as reprimanding or even corporal punishment, and canceling his original rights and interests, such as not going out to play or watching TV. However, psychological research has found that the most effective method of discipline is to discuss his mistakes with children and point out the influence of his behavior on others in the discussion.
Second, in life, pay attention to stimulate children's sense of sharing and dedication.
? In addition to guiding children to discuss past behaviors, we can also stimulate children's empathy in a reasonable way and exert influence on children's future behaviors.
? Third, direct behavior demonstration.
? Teaching by example is not as good as teaching by example, and empathetic parents will influence their children. Parents provide behavior demonstrations for children to imitate, which can not only have immediate effects, but also maintain the influence of this change on children for a longer period of time.
Fourth, encourage children's curiosity.
? Psychologists have found that encouraging children to participate in some group games, such as interacting with others and playing house, is helpful to cultivate children's empathy ability. Team activities, whether positive or negative, can let children know what kind of behavior people will have in such a scene, and then learn to understand other people's emotions, desires and action tendencies.
? Fifth, enjoy literature and art with children.
? Psychologists have found that reading literary works and appreciating artistic works, such as music, dance and art, are helpful to enhance people's empathy. Because the artistic conception of literary and artistic works needs our hearts to understand. For example, Ma Zhiyuan wrote in "Tianjingsha Qiu Si": "The withered vine and the old tree are faint, the small bridge is flowing, and the old road is thin. When the sun sets, heartbroken people are at the end of the world. " In just five sentences and twenty-eight words, there is not a word of autumn in the whole song, but it vividly depicts an autumn sunset in the suburbs, which makes readers feel the author's miserable mood. This is an empathy for nature, which is called epiphany and Zen in China culture.
In addition, the influence of film and television should not be underestimated, so parents should also pay attention to choosing suitable TV programs for their children, so that children can learn to empathize, understand and help others while relaxing.
These methods are all tips to cultivate children's empathy, but the effect of implementation depends on whether there is a good parent-child relationship between parents and children. If parents have provided warm parenting style and emotional support, whether it is guidance, reasoning, demonstration or artistic appreciation, they will get better results.