What are the problems in college students' interpersonal communication?
First, the characteristics of college students' interpersonal communication
Facing the new era, new interpersonal environment and social conditions, college students' interpersonal communication has become more complicated. The interpersonal communication of college students can be divided into virtual interpersonal communication and real interpersonal communication in form. These two different forms have their own characteristics and show different characteristics.
(1) Virtual interpersonal communication: indirectness, rapidity, equality (equality of subject identity and status), virtuality, anonymity, anomie, pluralism, randomness, autonomy, etc. Internet interpersonal communication is a communication platform based on computer and communication technology. It is not as direct and face-to-face as real interpersonal communication, but transforms living people into symbols and marks their identities with symbols; It is different from real communication, fully respects people's subjective initiative, allows the communication subjects to blur their true identity and realistic status, and launches their own communication actions with equal advantages. Whether it is true or not, everything depends on the subject's autonomy and choice. However, due to its virtuality, anonymity, randomness and autonomy, the anomie of network communication behavior also occurs from time to time, such as malicious posting, network deception, network crime and so on.
(2) Realistic interpersonal communication: the richness of communication content, the diversity of forms, the direct reality of communication effect, the standardization of communication ethics, the complexity of communication process and the utilitarianism of communication psychology. Realistic interpersonal communication is a traditional form of communication, which is rich in content, including not only material communication, but also spiritual communication. This kind of communication is in various forms, which can be between students in the class, between students of different origins or even between schools, not only between the same sex, but also between the opposite sex.
In short, there are many forms of communication. The actual effect of this kind of communication is obvious, because it is directly face to face, and the communication subject is fully involved, not only in words, but also in body language, so whether the communication is harmonious can be completely mastered by the communication subject with his own sensibility and rationality. However, due to the profound changes in local society and people's concepts and interests, college students' communicative psychology and behavior are becoming more and more utilitarian.
Second, the status quo of college students' interpersonal communication
Generally speaking, the present situation of interpersonal communication among contemporary college students mainly includes the following aspects.
(A) to expand the scope of exchanges
It extends from classmates, friends, teachers and others to a wider and farther group.
(b) Diversification of communication methods
In addition to the traditional face-to-face communication and correspondence, telephone, text messages and the Internet have become another important way of communication among college students.
(3) Rationalization of communication purpose
Interpersonal communication is one of the problems in college students' daily life, and interpersonal communication ability is part of college students' comprehensive ability!
With the development and change of society, college students' communicative purpose tends to be rational, and choosing friends is not purely out of emotional considerations, but more and more considering their own social interests, thus showing a trend of paying equal attention to emotional communication and utilitarian communication.
Virtualization of communication forms
The network has changed the social culture and brought about profound changes in the way people communicate with each other. The virtual society formed by the Internet is attracting more and more contemporary college students. E-mail, QQ and BBS have become important ways for college students to communicate with each other, and the virtualization of college students' interpersonal relationship has become an objective and common phenomenon in the network age.
(E) Problems in college students' interpersonal communication
The problems existing in college students' interpersonal communication can be summarized into four aspects: first, psychological problems, such as inferiority, fear, isolation, suspicion and indifference; Secondly, there are cognitive problems, such as social cognitive deviation, wrong value orientation and wrong communication view. Third, the problem of interpersonal skills: such as insufficient interpersonal skills and insufficient adaptability to the environment; Fourth, the differences in interpersonal communication, such as regional differences, gender differences, group differences and so on.
Third, the causes of college students' interpersonal barriers analysis
In the process of interpersonal communication, not every college student can handle this relationship well. Some students are always influenced by various factors around them in the process of interacting with people, which makes them confused and anxious, and all kinds of troubles appear in the process of interacting with people. There are three main reasons.
Social reasons
Today, with the rapid development of social economy, the competitive pressure between people is getting bigger and bigger, which further causes the expansion of college students' utilitarian thoughts when interacting with people. When they communicate with people, their material purpose is higher and higher than their spiritual interests, and they tend to use material interests to measure gains and losses. Especially in recent years, the global economic crisis has increased the employment pressure of college students and promoted the growth of students' utilitarian heart in disguise. In addition, the wide spread of information technology in modern society and the promotion of network platforms make some people easily trust the communication in cyberspace, but are too lazy to communicate with friends in reality, thus relying more on the virtual world and entering a vicious circle.
(2) Family reasons
Nowadays, most college students are only children, and their families are pampered. They live a comfortable and generous life and have never been wronged. Over time, they developed a willful and selfish character. When dealing with people, we are usually self-centered, and do things without considering others' feelings, but ask others to act according to their own wishes. Speak loudly when you are happy, regardless of other people's feelings; When you are unhappy, you lose your temper regardless of the occasion, regardless of the interests of others. Coupled with the utilitarian tendency of modern education, parents' requirements for their children are only academic performance, which induces students to form the idea that only good study is the most important thing, and thus psychologically tends to associate only with well-studied students, putting themselves in a narrow communication space, resulting in difficulties in interpersonal communication.
(C) their own reasons
The deviation of self-cognition leads to the restriction of communication. University is a special period in which college students' psychological thoughts and other aspects mature. During this period, they can't make a comprehensive and rational understanding of the people and things around them, and it is difficult to make a correct evaluation of interpersonal communication, which leads to a psychological cognitive deviation in interpersonal communication. Overestimate others and let yourself fall into a state of inferiority psychologically. Or overestimate yourself, appear arrogant and superior. All these will affect the normal interpersonal relationship of college students. The lack of interpersonal skills and communication ideas among college students is also an important reason.
Fourthly, the mode analysis of realizing the balance between college students' virtual interpersonal communication and real interpersonal communication
Teachers should strengthen the education of college students, so that students can form a correct and reasonable concept of interpersonal communication. College teachers should undertake the ideological education of college students, especially counselors and "two courses" teachers. From the previous analysis, we can see that the present situation of interpersonal communication among contemporary college students is reasonable on the one hand, but it also has unreasonable and wrong psychology and behavior. Therefore, it is necessary to strengthen the education of college students, make them realize the advantages and disadvantages of two different forms of communication, and strive to give full play to their advantages and reduce or avoid negative effects.
Principles of college students' interpersonal communication
1, equal communication. Equality mainly refers to the equality of attitudes of both sides. Each of us has our own independent personality, personal dignity and legal rights and obligations, and the relationship between people is equal. In the process of communication, if one party is condescending, domineering, giving orders and bossing around, then he will soon be isolated. College students often have strong personalities and refuse to admit defeat to each other. This spirit is worth advocating, but it must not be treated differently because of the objective differences between students in origin, family, experience and appearance.
Adhere to the principle of equal communication, we must correctly evaluate ourselves, don't be overbearing just by looking at our own advantages, don't blindly feel inferior just by looking at our own shortcomings, respect the self-esteem and feelings of others, and don't "look at people and make dishes".
2. Respect others. Everyone has his own personal dignity and expects to be respected on various occasions. Respect can arouse people's feelings such as trust and frankness and shorten the psychological distance of communication. Generally speaking, college students have strong self-esteem. Therefore, in interpersonal communication, college students should pay special attention to respecting principles, not damaging the reputation and personality of others, and acknowledging or affirming their own abilities and achievements. Otherwise, it will easily lead to interpersonal tension and conflict.
Adhere to the principle of respect, we must pay attention to respect classmates in attitude and personality, treat others equally, pay attention to language civilization and courtesy, do not play pranks, give classmates nicknames indiscriminately, and respect their living habits.
3. Treat people sincerely. Sincerity is a bridge between people. Only when the two sides treat each other with sincerity can they build trust and forge a profound friendship. To adhere to the principle of sincerity, we must have enthusiasm and love, sincerely help others without expecting anything in return, and sincerely criticize friends' shortcomings and defects. Seeking truth from facts about people and things, being able to express one's opinions on different points of view without duplicity, neither boasting to one's face nor slandering behind his back, and being sincere and frank with others.
4. The principle of mutual assistance and mutual benefit. Interpersonal relationship is based on whether it can meet the needs of both parties. If both sides' psychological needs can be met, their relationship will continue to develop. Therefore, both sides should adhere to the principle of mutual assistance and mutual benefit. Mutual assistance means that when one party needs help, the other party should help the other party as much as possible. This kind of help can be material or spiritual; It can be mental or physical. To adhere to the principle of mutual assistance and mutual benefit, we must get rid of extreme individualism, be kind to others and be ready to help others. At the same time, be good at asking for help. Others help you overcome difficulties, he will feel happy and can further communicate the emotional exchanges between the two sides.
5. Pay attention to credit. Credit is a successful partner, an intangible capital and an ancient tradition of the Chinese nation. The principle of credit requires college students to tell the truth in interpersonal communication, and their words and deeds are consistent. No matter how difficult the promised thing is, we should try our best to do it and spare no effort. If repeated efforts fail, we must explain the reasons sincerely, and we must not have the idea of "making do" or "coping". A trustworthy person can make real friends and good friends; People who break their promises can only make friends for a while or will eventually be abandoned.
Adhere to the principle of credit, be sure to arrive on time for appointments, return things on time, be suspicious, and make promises easily, which makes people happy.
6. Be tolerant and generous. Misunderstandings and contradictions often occur in interpersonal communication. College students have strong personalities and close ties, which will inevitably lead to contradictions. This requires college students not to haggle over every ounce in their communication, but to be modest, generous, restrained and patient. Regardless of the attitude of the other party and the words of the other party, they should be brave enough to assume their own behavioral responsibilities, so that "the prime minister can hold a boat in his stomach." He is noisy, you are not noisy; He is fierce, you are not; He scolds, but you don't. As long as we are broad-minded, angry people will be bored. Tolerance and restraint are not signs of weakness and cowardice. On the contrary, it is a measurable performance, a lubricant for establishing good interpersonal relationships, and can "turn enemies into friends" and win more friends.
Interpersonal communication skills of college students
(1) Learn to sell yourself. The first and most important interpersonal skill is to learn to sell yourself. Self-promotion is actually a person who voluntarily and consciously tells others some accurate details about himself. Most people in China are reserved and willing to hide themselves, which makes others unable to understand us and brings obstacles to interpersonal communication. A sociable person must first learn to sell himself. You have taken the first step in interpersonal communication.
(2) Pay attention to language skills. The most direct way of interpersonal communication is to talk with people, but talking is a learned art. As a college student in 2 1 century, to make full use of language art and show his talents, he must do the following: First, when communicating with people, he should be good at finding topics, stimulating others' enthusiasm for participation, and his language should be accurate, concise, pertinent and orderly; Second, be sincere and enthusiastic when speaking, so as to achieve the purpose of communicating with each other and exchanging ideas; Third, take good care of everyone present in group occasions and don't hurt others; Fourth, we should pay attention to the effect of language expression, master the sense of proportion, and treat it differently according to time and place.
(3) Learn to empathize. Every interpersonal relationship is unique and subtle, but as long as you try to put yourself in others' shoes from different angles, you may have a correct understanding of what will happen. Nowadays, most college students are only children, so they are selfish, impulsive, without considering the consequences and lacking empathy. Healthy interpersonal relationships should be based on mutual benefit, not unilateral efforts of either party. In order to gain the trust of others, you must learn to understand others.
The Significance of College Students' Interpersonal Communication
1. Interpersonal relationships affect college students' group cohesion and learning efficiency. Statistics show that being in a bad mood will reduce the learning efficiency of mental workers by 70%.
2. Interpersonal relationships affect individual personality development. Research shows that harmonious interpersonal relationship has the following benefits for individuals: it gives individuals a sense of stability and belonging, and improves their tolerance and understanding ability; Give individuals the opportunity to learn social skills and gain social experience; Give individuals the opportunity to cultivate social insight and develop loyalty to the collective.
3. Interpersonal relationships affect the physical and mental health of young students. Being in a bad interpersonal environment for a long time will lead to various physical and mental diseases, such as neurasthenia, hypertension, migraine, ulcers and so on.
Interpersonal etiquette of college students
1, cultivate your own core values
If you are excellent, excellent people will naturally move closer to you. Don't be young, your mind is full of contacts. Only a good person can understand whether you are sincere or can pretend.
2. Learn to refuse appropriately.
No one can do everything. You are needed everywhere. Habitually please others, but take it for granted.
Don't take others' kindness to you for granted.
In this world, except your relatives, no one else has the obligation to be kind to you. When you meet kindness, please know how to cherish and be grateful.
4. A deliberately maintained relationship will not last long.
To maintain a long-term and comfortable relationship, people rely on sex and attraction, not oppression, bondage, blind dedication and moral automation.
Don't please others by selling your friends' privacy.
Only when friends trust you can they show that they don't want to be known. As friends, we should cherish this trust, instead of taking it as a talk one day.
6. Don't talk so loudly.
Sometimes we speak loudly, even if the content is harmless, it will give others a fierce, rude and extreme impression. Especially for girlfriends ~
7. Don't say shallow things.
You must control your enthusiasm and mouth for people you don't know well, and keep some reservations appropriately. Be especially careful with people you know. Many of them are just enthusiastic out of habit and have no intention at all.
8. Don't think that others should accept what they really give.
Whether emotionally or materially, if the other party does not accept it, it will be a burden for him. If you have to force yourself, it will be bad for yourself and others.
Cultivation and improvement of college students' interpersonal communication ability
1. Ability to express and understand. The ability to express and understand, first, refers to whether a person can express his inner thoughts, but also let others know his thoughts clearly, and second, to understand others' expressions. A person's expressive ability can also directly prove his degree of social adaptation.
2. Interpersonal integration ability. Explain that whether a person can appreciate a person's trustworthiness and loveliness has a great relationship with his personality (such as extroversion and extroversion). ), but it is not entirely determined by it, but more psychological significance.
3. Ability to solve problems. At present, one weakness of the only child is strong dependence and poor ability to solve problems independently. We should abide by the principles of interpersonal communication: equality, transposition, honesty, courtesy and mutual benefit.
In my opinion, college students should cultivate their ability to deal with classmates, teachers and others during their school study. Talking with classmates, you can explore different learning methods, talk about different understandings of social phenomena, and improve your speculative ability in argumentation; Talking with teachers can exchange reading experience, sort out different ideas and understandings, and get inspiration from them. In short, actively interacting with people, mastering the methods and skills of interpersonal communication and giving full play to the role of interpersonal communication will lay a good foundation for the future development of college students in society!
Interpersonal communication problems of college students
(A) college students themselves
First of all, we must establish a correct world outlook, outlook on life and values. Enhance the sense of collectivism and learn to share with others. Secondly, when getting along with classmates, you should learn to listen and be a qualified listener. At the same time, depression can be properly confided, which is beneficial to physical and mental health. Third, we should establish self-confidence and be modest, generous and natural. Take an active part in various group activities and be a sunny and confident college student in the new era. Finally, constantly enhance their comprehensive quality, actively participate in various activities, arm their minds with knowledge, effectively develop their morality, intelligence and physique, and improve their personality charm.
(2) school.
First of all, according to the age characteristics of college students, we should carry out rich extracurricular activities, build an effective social practice system and build a good interpersonal communication platform. Let students show themselves in rich activities, narrow the distance with their classmates and enhance effective interpersonal communication. Secondly, the establishment of psychological counseling room, and equipped with full-time psychological counselors, to build an early warning mechanism for college students' interpersonal communication. Find out the problems existing in college students' interpersonal communication in time, and give psychological counseling to college students who are confused in the process of interpersonal communication in time to avoid adverse consequences. Third, the school offers related courses. Interpersonal communication will play an extremely important role in college students' life, study and future work, so they need a "life tutor". By offering related courses, such as social etiquette courses, this demand can be met to the maximum extent. Finally, colleges and universities should strengthen humanistic spirit education. Humanistic spirit is a universal human self-care, and it is the spiritual need for people to become "people". Humanism is not only related to human nature, but also to being a man. Higher education is also an education of educating people, and teaching students to be human beings is a problem worthy of attention in colleges and universities at present. Therefore, only by strengthening the education of humanistic spirit and paying attention to the ultimate concern for human nature can we build a harmonious campus interpersonal communication environment. At the same time, we should pay attention to cultivating a good school spirit. The greatness of a university lies not in the size of the campus, but in an atmosphere. School spirit can create a potential, diffuse and spiritual style, which permeates the whole campus.
(3) family.
Families can give good social support. Family is the first educational environment for people. Family background, family economic conditions, family city, family structure and family upbringing will greatly affect college students' interpersonal skills, environmental adaptability and interpersonal circle. A democratic and open family with good economic conditions can provide students with good conditions and a good interpersonal circle. Such college students are more active, confident, positive and active in thinking. On the contrary, college students will feel inferior and closed, and cannot effectively deal with complex interpersonal relationships. Therefore, under certain economic conditions, parents should try their best to give their children a democratic and open atmosphere, encourage their children to create the future by their own efforts, and establish a confident and optimistic attitude.
(A) self-centered, small circle of contacts
The post-90s college students are mainly only children, who grew up under the care of their parents. Growing up, there were many "little princesses" and "little emperors" who had absolute right to speak at home. After entering colleges and universities, unlike family life, students need humility and mutual assistance. However, due to the family growth environment, many students will not adapt, ignore the feelings of others, have obvious self-centeredness and a small circle of friends, and only associate with people who are "like-minded" with themselves.
(b) Lack of motivation for active communication
Among college students, psychological immaturity leads to negative emotions affecting communication. Inferiority is another important problem that affects college students' interpersonal communication at present. Every student was born in a different growth environment, especially in a sensitive adolescence, with strong self-esteem. Inferiority caused by economic problems or looks will directly become an important factor preventing them from taking the initiative in interpersonal communication. In addition, personality factors, as well as the so-called "personality" advocated by the network and society, make them even more reluctant to take the initiative to associate with people and create a so-called mystery. Therefore, the lack of positive communication motivation is a very common situation among college students at present.
(C) the utilitarian tendency is serious
Many bad social values permeate the campus through various media, which in turn affects college students and deeply imprints their interpersonal relationships in society. In China, which is in the transition period from traditional society to modern society, there are some unhealthy phenomena in social life, such as fairness and corruption, which make the interpersonal relationship of college students appear various variations. In daily communication activities, students tend to show utilitarian tendencies, such as paying too much attention to their own interests, ignoring the feelings between people, and "using" each other to impose their will on others, which has largely become an obstacle for college students to communicate effectively.