What we have experienced always changes our cognition bit by bit. Some time ago, Chen Guo, an associate professor at Fudan University, burst into a circle of friends, which shocked many people's three views on "friends are useless" and thought that friends should be like this.

She said:

A sincere "friend" is not a playmate, a drinker, a comforter in loneliness, a spiritual refuge, a "personal connection" based on interests or practical effects, or a casual rhetoric or social rhetoric in the scene; "friends" are often not a group of people who are coaxed around, nor are they a circle that appears together; A "friend" is not a person who agrees with and caters to all your thoughts or opinions, nor is it a person who compromises everything and blindly follows you; "Friends" are not followers, vassals and foil, but people who are equal in personality and spirit; "Friends" rarely hit it off at first sight, because the closeness of the soul and the harmony of the spirit often need to be "as close as a knife" in time.

We have been making friends with many people under the bright banner of "one more friend, one more road". Indeed, friends can give us real vested interests. No matter what banner you are wearing, you must have no friends.

However, once upon a time, friends drank only 1000 yuan, and if they didn't drink enough, they would drink too much. When I am alone in an empty city at night, I think of my friends and habitually say, "Are you there? I'm so bored. Can you chat with me? " ; After receiving the sufferings of others from other places with great joy, I will come with my friends in every possible way, in the name of bosom friends; And once the disaster is imminent, it is possible to think the opposite. These people make friends on the basis of "usefulness", which is also the principle that most people have followed since ancient times. Yes, it is understandable to talk about the usefulness of friends on a large scale, because the complexity of people and the benefits of social interaction determine that our attitude and values towards friends are more "utilitarian".

However, the large-scale "utilitarian" value of making friends is popular in all walks of life, sometimes accompanied by some tragedies. Let's call it "the theory of harming friends", which is not limited to the scope of careless friends and bad conscience, but the profound friendship between friends and the harm caused in some accidents. I heard from friends that several like-minded brothers started the company with the same original intention and did a good job. However, one of them died after drinking and driving, and all the achievements were wiped out in an instant. From his words, I heard his complaints, his nature and his unwillingness. Yes, I used to be a close friend, but I didn't expect one careless move to bring everyone down.

Such things can be said to be everywhere around us. The so-called "friends are harmful" here is exactly the same as "doing bad things with good intentions" Help is affection, help is righteousness, even though it is distance. This brother's car accident can be defined as this. The original intention is self-evident, and the purpose is only to deepen a friendship. When the accident came, my father was very reluctant, fearing that all the responsibilities would be attributed to the owner. Moreover, both sides are familiar people and it is not easy to investigate. I can only accept this result and comfort myself through a disaster.

I think it is meaningless to draw the line of "friendship theory" after the accident. It is also a merit to have a deep understanding and education of the victims and people around them, which can influence more people. And education lies in learning to refuse while believing, knowing your own strengths and others' weaknesses, so as to be alert to danger at all times.