Hello, leaders, teachers and classmates!
It is a great honor and a great fate to stand here and communicate with you today. In order to give my classmates a preliminary impression of me, I'll introduce myself first. My name is Yang, and Yang is human. Forever and ever, faith is a letter of trust.
Students here, I don't know what grade you are in, and I don't know what you are thinking. But in order to create a two-way communication atmosphere for us, and to know what I will focus on next, I want to do a small survey. Please raise your hand if you like the opposite sex, raise your hand if you pass a note or show your love to the opposite sex directly, and raise your hand if you are in love.
As the saying goes, "Which girl is not in love? Which boy doesn't love it? "
"Love" is a charming word and an eternal topic for human beings. For many of us, love is infinitely attractive. People in love have had the experience of "missing Iraq" and the happiness of two of a kind. Various flavors are complex and worrying.
Similarly, "love" is more attractive to teenagers who are in their prime, have the richest feelings and are the most sensitive.
In the third year after the college entrance examination system was restored, I was admitted to the university with 1979. At that time, there were 50 students in our class, but only 5 were girls, accounting for110. They are not beautiful. When I was a sophomore, I saw that some female students had had that kind of relationship with some male students in our class. Like it or not, as long as I can take a female college student home and show it off to people around me, I will be satisfied. I have never thought about what it will be like to get along without a solid emotional foundation for a long time to come. At that time, I was dominated by my childish ideas. In order to improve my chances of winning, I wrote a note to the most photogenic female classmate in my class and asked her where to meet. Fortunately, this female classmate kept the appointment as scheduled. Disappointed, all I expected in my nervousness was a note she personally gave me, which read "We are still young". I was ashamed for many days and didn't dare to look up at others. I never had the courage to date the opposite sex again. After graduation, with the help of others, I met a woman who made me very satisfied and moved. She is very gentle, very virtuous, very romantic and very feminine. We work in the same unit and live together every day. Life is full of sweetness and warmth. Later, whenever I recall the scene of handing over the note, I wonder, if she really promised me, would the emotional foundation and time and space distance allow me to get along with her for life?
There are scenes of love tragicomedy on campus every day. The scenery here remains the same, the characters are always new, and the stories are similar. After experiencing colorful campus life and complicated emotional experience, with the passage of time, the students have grown up and matured. When you enter the society after graduation, you will wake up from the fantasy of love, become realistic and live an ordinary life. Deep down, they still miss their college days, because they left the best youth and love at that time, but they know that after graduation, life will turn from gorgeous to dull, and then plain is true.
First, the root of adolescent love
A female classmate named Liu Mei once called me on the hotline and said that she had recently paid special attention to a male classmate in her class somehow. At the sight of him, her face turned red and her heart kept beating, but she was very eager to see him. This female classmate feels ashamed and distressed. Ask me if this is a bad idea and if I am a bad girl. In fact, this is a normal emotional reaction of girls after puberty, and it is also a natural expression of feelings after human maturity. Boys also have this reaction, but girls are earlier.
Boys and girls who don't avoid holding hands with everyone can be seen everywhere in the corner of the campus.
The budding of Chun Qing often makes boys and girls pay attention to the opposite sex partners around them and have feelings of closeness, yearning and attachment to them. Some of them secretly like a classmate or teacher of the opposite sex. This is the seed of their deep love that begins to sprout, and it is the inevitable performance of a person's physical and mental development to a stage. No one can avoid it or hinder it. In other words, the development of sexual psychology, like the maturity of sexual physiology, is independent of human will. But the development process of sexual psychology can be regulated by reason.
The driving force of puberty development is the change of sex hormones in human body. The massive secretion of sex hormones promotes the maturity of sexual organs and lays the foundation for sexual psychological changes. The so-called "seeds of love" are the sexual psychological feelings of boys and girls. It is necessary and beneficial to divide love into sex and love. This distinction makes it easy for us to see some characteristics of love. The sexual desire basis of sex makes love exclusive, impulsive and intuitive. Sexual activity is generally a hidden event between two people, so that both parties in love will exclude a third person from entering the secret world of two people and interfere with the closest love relationship. Being single-minded helps to maintain the stability of love, and being single-minded and not distracted by others is the basic requirement between lovers. However, the extreme tendency of xenophobia has become a morbid state. Some people, out of jealousy, do not allow their lovers to have normal contacts with other members of the opposite sex, which will bring high psychological tension to both parties in love.
Impulse is the fundamental feature of sex. Love comes from the basic needs of physiological impulses, so lovers are always excited about love and need more intimate relationships with each other. The impulse of love makes love full of vigor and vitality. Men and women in love are often highly excited about small things and have higher creative enthusiasm than usual. But irresistible impulse can also lead to the enhancement of sexual desire, which will lead to sexual behavior if it is not restrained. Because sex pays attention to sensory factors such as physical attraction and congenial temperament, intuition is also an important feature of love. Youth love pays attention to the feeling and impression of meeting once. The so-called love at first sight is to feel the external beauty of the other party and have feelings. However, love involves future marriage and long-term relationship, and relying too much on intuition will often bring endless troubles.
Sex and love are the basic structures of love. Love is the result of the development of human society, emphasizing the importance of spirit. Therefore, public opinion and most literary works are praising love, intentionally or unintentionally belittling sex. One of the most representative is the spiritual love advocated by the philosopher Plato. But this method is one-sided. Sex is as important as love. A fundamental purpose of love is to release sexual energy and develop sexual consciousness. There is no love without sex. Sexual desire is an instinctive impulse that has existed since the birth of mankind, and love must be produced on the basis of self-awareness. It is morbid to suppress sex with love. Talking about sex completely is not love. Only by paying equal attention to both can we meet the psychological structure requirements of love.
Satisfying sexual impulse is an important inducement to encourage young people to engage in love activities. In the stage when sexual consciousness develops into passionate love, the demand for sexual desire is increasingly strong, and the sexual impulse spread in the previous stage is concentrated on the selected special object. Driven by sexual impulses, young people begin to date alone and do not engage in group activities. This is love. Sexual impulse is a physiological phenomenon, which will not be eliminated with depression, but will only accumulate strength in depression to launch the next charge. Long-term depression can cause serious psychological tension and anxiety.
Some people divide love into six categories: erotic love, game love, friendship love, crazy love, realistic love and altruistic love. "Erotic love" refers to the need for beautiful appearance as the center, trying to possess each other's love. "Game love" refers to the pursuit of the opposite sex as an interesting game. Lovers don't really invest in their feelings, and they like to change lovers. "Friendship love" is a natural love relationship formed by long-term coexistence, and the so-called "childhood friends" is an example of this kind of love. "Crazy love" means that lovers need to be crazy about their feelings, which is a morbid feeling. "Realistic love" is more rational, and people choose objects that can satisfy them according to their own needs (such as self-esteem, money and status). "Altruistic love" is also slightly morbid. This kind of lovers think that love is an emotional dedication, and when the third party has feelings for the lover, they often take the method of quitting, thinking that this can make the lover happier. We say that only friendship love and realistic love can be truly firm and lasting, and too much romance or games will make love short-lived.
The development of adolescent sexual psychology has gone through three different periods. The first is the opposite sex alienation period (about from senior grade to the first grade of primary school). The two little conjectures of "When you, my love, ride a bamboo horse, run in circles and throw your childhood" are gone. Boys hate girls being timid, coquetry and crying; Girls don't like boys being naughty, sloppy and bullying. Students in the fourth and fifth grades of primary school, have you ever drawn the 38th parallel on your desks and often started an elbow "war"? At this time, the boy was afraid that others would see that he had signs of development; Girls hide their body curves with small breasts. But at this time, no one can deny their curiosity about the opposite sex.
Opposite sex approaching period (second grade to first grade). Girls generally enter puberty one year earlier than boys. In the second day, girls take the lead in having a good impression on boys; Boys' affection for girls begins from the second and third day of junior high school. Boys and girls pay attention to themselves rather than the opposite sex, and there is emotional attraction between boys and girls. Love fantasy, love reading love novels, love to be a fearless love warrior in books, love to show themselves in front of the opposite sex, love to confide in their imaginary lovers ... boys and girls have a new understanding of the opposite sex: girls think boys are resolute, boys think girls are gentle and delicate; Girls will admire boys for trivial things, while boys will show off their talents for no reason because girls are present. The worship and praise of the opposite sex is a great encouragement and will glow with great strength. This mutual attraction is an inevitable experience in the process of psychological development of men and women, which can not be ignored in promoting mutual unity and friendship. Of course, the contact between the opposite sex has a scale, and if it exceeds the scale, it will bring trouble to itself.
Sexual first love (sophomore to freshman). Boys and girls are about to mature. They are approaching the end of adolescence and are making a transition to young people. They gradually turn their undirected admiration for the whole opposite sex group into admiration for someone in real life. Although this kind of emotion is easy to stimulate and fluctuate, it has become more specific than the opposite sex. Although it has entered the first love period of both sexes, the experience, emotion, cultural attainments, living standards and moral standards of both men and women are still not perfect, and it is still impossible to confirm what kind of person they like, let alone whether the other party has their favorite personality. Teenagers in this period are likely to be trapped by themselves if they don't grasp the gate of rationality and deliberately pursue stormy love.
Second, the influence of love on the psychological development of teenagers
1, the positive role of love
First of all, love is an important way for young people to release their increasingly strong sexual impulses. Contact the opposite sex through love, so that young people are no longer depressed and nervous about sexy. Secondly, the development of sexual consciousness can only be perfected through the stage of love. In this process, young people's self-concept is developed under the influence of each other. They really know how to adjust their own defects to adapt to each other while maintaining their independence. Moreover, the deep communication between the two people in love has laid the foundation for improving young people's communicative ability and adapting to the future society. Love is the most important event in late adolescence and early adulthood. Only when you have been in love can you really mature.
2. The negative effects of love
Although the meaning of love has a positive side, it sometimes damages the mental health of young people. Young people in love will be happy or sad because of something, and excessive excitement and sadness will aggravate psychological tension. The further development of love will also bring social problems, which is also an important factor of psychological obstacles. For example, premarital sex, non-economic independent material expression and falling in love will cause excessive psychological burden to both men and women. Young people who are lovelorn will lose their souls and feel that the meaning of life no longer exists, and life will only be pain and torture, and some people even go to a dead end. Without proper psychological guidance or strong self-control, lovelorn will have a great psychological impact on young people. It can be seen that love is a double-edged sword for young people. If you want to get a sweet return, you must stand the test.
Third, the unrequited love and love illusion of teenagers in love.
1, Unrequited love: It means that one party in a heterosexual relationship falls in love with the other party, while the other party has no expression, even the other party doesn't know it, but is persistently in love with and pursuing the other party.
2. Love illusion: refers to that in the contact relationship of the opposite sex, one party mistakenly thinks that the other party is "interesting" to himself, or mistakenly thinks that the normal communication and friendship between the two sides is the coming of love. Often let the parties daydreaming, romantic. For example, some male and female students regard the goodwill and friendship generated by the same personality, interests and hobbies as love; Some boys think that the words, deeds and smiles of cheerful, caring and amiable girls are all manifestations of their love, which makes them lovesick.
A male college student met a female classmate in his class after studying at night. The woman smiled at him, and the young man was fascinated and thought she was "interesting" to himself. "Maybe you have something else to say to me!" So he followed her. The female students didn't pay attention, so they went into the female dormitory, while the male students were still waiting outside. Later, I found out and made a big joke.
Teenagers' psychology is not yet fully mature, unrequited love is more common, and more often it appears in introverted, sensitive, imaginative and inferior people. First of all, I fell in love with each other, so I also hope to get their love. Under the control of this diffusion psychology, I will take each other's kindness, enthusiasm and generosity as a sign of love and firmly believe it, thus falling into the abyss of unrequited love and being unable to extricate myself.
Fourthly, teenagers' love motives in love are incorrect.
1, wrong motive. A considerable number of teenagers have incorrect love motives. For example, some students think that school life is empty and lonely, looking for spiritual stimulation and sustenance; Some people join in the fun out of vanity, thinking that not talking about it means that they are not attractive, and falling in love is an affirmation of self-worth; Some of them, out of curiosity, are "apprenticeships" in order to gain "experience" in the future; Some are looking for backers, so-called people who have the right to have money and good family conditions; Others are afraid of missing good opportunities and marriage, and it is difficult to find a bosom friend in society; There are also very few people who advocate western ideas. A few young men and women who have gone into the misunderstanding of love motives regard very noble and pure life topics as children's play and deal with love issues rashly. For example, a boy, in less than two years, pursued a number of girls, and the longest conversation was only three months. When his classmates joked that he had chased "a dozen", he proudly said, "If you can catch up, you can catch up, but if you can't catch up, you can't help chasing." Another example is a college student who is about to graduate. In order to find a good job in the provincial capital, he talked about "love" with people far away from him. Once he achieved his goal by relying on the influence of his parents, he immediately "blew the lamp". For another example, there is a female classmate in the freshman dormitory. Most of them fell in love in the first semester after entering school, but most of them fell through after half a year. Countless romances are not only childish and ridiculous, but also treat serious love as a child's play, killing precious youth in casual talk and blowing. After all, I don't know the true meaning of love.
2, love dislocation. The so-called "dislocation" means putting it in the wrong position. Among young friends are such people. Once in love, they put their good time and main energy into lingering and lovemaking, and put their main task-learning out of the clouds until the final exam showed several "yellow cards", and some even failed in many courses. When they received the notice to repeat their studies or drop out of school, they woke up in a big dream, panicked, cried, begged and regretted it. Their mistake is to put love in the wrong place and pursue the concept of "love is supreme"
In fact, their understanding of love is completely selfish. In pursuit of "love", they drugged themselves with love as wine, wrote love letters in class, ran away after class, and paraded proudly in the city to show their "value". Once "love" encounters setbacks, misfortunes and failures, they feel that everything in the world has lost its luster, even the fun and meaning of life, and it goes to extremes and self-destruction. Such people are really weak without ambition and lofty goals in life.
3. Standard deviation. In other words, the standard of mate selection is unrealistic, the object of choice is idealized and vanity is strong. Some students pursue a higher level of romance, they pursue the tacit understanding and subtlety of emotions, put family conditions and family status in a secondary position, emphasize comprehensive consideration of mate selection conditions, pay attention to spiritual life, and pay attention to ideological conduct. However, due to lack of experience and different personal ideological levels, some students choose the object or judge people by their appearance, or take people by money, or take people by power, or talent, appearance, power, money and house are the best. I'm afraid the most prominent thing is to judge a book by its cover. Some people's criteria for finding a partner are: first, beautiful; Second, beautiful; Third, it is still beautiful. The man is handsome and the woman is graceful and charming. Of course, beautiful appearance can give people a sense of pleasure and bring psychological satisfaction. However, the beauty of appearance is not all the beauty of human beings. True beauty is the unity of external beauty and internal beauty. Judge a person by his appearance, and love at first sight will suffer. "Love at first sight" is mostly an understanding of each other's appearance, manners, oral language and other appearances, which is intuitive and superficial, and even has one-sided false elements. Therefore, we must not "love at first sight" immediately push love to a climax, act rashly, and abuse each other. On the contrary, we should push our understanding to the rational stage, strive to observe calmly in contact, and fully understand each other's internal character. Is the other person consistent with his own ideal? Are moral feelings consistent? Is personality compatible? Those who judge a book by its cover rashly and mistake love at first sight for the end of love and establish the beginning of marriage will, in all likelihood, drink bitter wine and hate it for life.
A foreign philosopher compared the process of falling in love to collecting ears of wheat. He said that a man walked into a wheat field, saw the first ear of wheat and couldn't wait to pick it. When he walked on, every ear of wheat he saw was bigger and better than that in his hand, and he could only leave endless regrets. Another man walked into the wheat field and saw all the ears of wheat were big and full. He looked around and missed going back and forth. Unconsciously, he quickly walked out of the wheat field and quickly picked a wheat ear. On the way to the wheat field, the third man chose a bigger ear of wheat to pick, and there may be bigger ears of wheat in the future. Maybe not. For him, the ears of wheat in his hand are the best In the process of selecting objects, students all hope to pick the best ears of wheat.
A girl in the journalism department of a university, who just entered the university, felt very stimulated when she saw many students around her in pairs. She took the initiative to attack a boy in her class in the next semester of senior one, and they soon fell in love. They formed a small family soon after they graduated from college. The woman soon discovered that boys never do housework and are very inconsiderate of their own efforts and busy work. Whenever she comes back from a long-distance interview, exhausted and busy cooking, men only know how to sit on the sofa and watch the ball game. Repeated nagging is ineffective, because men are self-centered, accustomed to being cared for and cared for, and lack consideration for others. As a result, this female classmate has been ill many times. Later, at the reunion of old classmates, she said with regret that if she could start over, she must find an older, especially tolerant and considerate man as her husband. The student said that she was just in a hurry and only picked the smallest "ear of wheat".
Some people, after contacting all kinds of classmates, "suddenly look back, but that person is in the dim light", and find that it is better to know the first person, so they turn around and rediscover the ears of wheat. In order to find true love, students often think, "The road is long, and Xiu Yuan is awkward, so I will go up and down." .
5. Misconduct and emotional entanglements of teenagers in love.
Young friends pursue personal freedom, pay attention to respecting personal privacy and not interfere in others' love and sex life. A few boys and girls take advantage of this convenience and constantly play love games. Some boys look for girls just for a moment's emotional catharsis, and then they change to a new one after the novelty. Some girls are hurt and hurt again. On the other hand, students' lives are still in turmoil, and their further education, postgraduate entrance examination, distribution and employment are still unknown. Even if you are in love, you are likely to live far apart after graduation. Therefore, students "do not seek eternity, but only care about what they once had." Many people think that having a vigorous love affair and several emotional experiences can make them understand life better, which is the biggest gain besides their studies. As for the result, it depends on fate. It is under the control of this concept that there are many love behaviors among students.
The common misconduct of students in love is mainly manifested in: rashly determining the relationship of love; Too early and too intimate; Step on two boats and engage in a love triangle; Premarital sex. These misconducts not only defile the sacred love and pollute the campus atmosphere, but also cause the pain of life, and even have more serious consequences.
The motivation of some young friends is not love itself, but to make up for their inner emptiness, loneliness or conformity. This kind of students seldom combine love behavior with marriage when choosing a spouse, and lack a sense of responsibility. There are also a few students who, in order to show their charm, associate with several opposite-sex students at the same time, engage in multi-angle love, and are not even sure about their relationship.
Immoral polyandry can easily lead to disputes, misfortunes and disasters, as well as contradictions and tragedies, which will eventually have adverse consequences for all parties.
A female student of English department fell in love with a tall and handsome male classmate in her class. But the male classmate has a lover of a middle school classmate, and the female classmate watches the boy and his lover walk painfully on campus every day, and one is sad. Soon the boys and lovers broke up, and the girls were very excited and immediately revealed their secrets to the boys. They soon fell in love, read books and walked together, which made everyone envy them and recognized them as an ideal couple. Unexpectedly, an American international student fell in love with this southern girl in senior three and came to see her in the dormitory every day. Boys' love finally can't compare with the "American green card". The girl who once worshipped him so much, after graduation, fell into the arms of foreign devils and moved to the United States with American students. A boy who leaves his heart will not get married after ten years. For them, love is just a springboard to the other side; For spoony people, love is an eternal pain in their hearts.
Sixth, the tragedy of teenage lovelorn.
Lovelorn refers to the interruption of the love process. The sadness, pain, despair, melancholy, anxiety, nothingness and other emotions brought by lovelorn make the parties very hurt. It is one of the most serious psychological setbacks in life. If the negative emotions caused by lovelorn are not resolved in time, it will lead to lifelong regret. Jiangnan Times reported that a boy in a college in Changzhou was handsome and his grades were good. He fell in love with a beautiful girl in the next class at first sight, so he confessed to her. He always thinks highly of himself. After being unexpectedly rejected, he was depressed and wanted to die. At 6 o'clock in the evening of May 10, 2004, he climbed to the fifth floor of the dormitory building and jumped off while no one was around. Maybe he is doomed to fail. The lush trees and soft soil behind the dormitory took him back from death.
At 7: 30 am on September 8, 2003, a 24-year-old female graduate student climbed to the top of the 23rd floor of a building in Shanghai. She is a third-year student in the School of Journalism of Fudan University. On the afternoon of March 30th, a girl from a university in Beijing jumped from the upstairs and died on the spot. In a photo next to me, the girl is wearing a red coat and leaning against a boy wearing a gray plaid coat.
The girl finally sent a text message to her boyfriend: "I went ... dear girl floated down from the roof like leaves."
But it doesn't matter. Someone answered ~ ~ ~ ~ below. Although you saved my life, can you help me find my lost feelings?
Xiao Bo and Xiao Dan, a female classmate in the same class, have a very close relationship since the first year of high school.
The head teacher criticized and informed Xiao Dan and Xiao Bo about their puppy love. Xiao Dan couldn't bear the pressure from her side, so she cried her eyes red and offered to break up with Xiao Bo. Xiao Bo suddenly took out a sharp piece of glass from his desk and plunged it into his left chest. Blood immediately soaked Xiao Bo's clothes. When he was taken to the hospital, the boy had lost more than 2000 ml of blood. The picture shows Xiao Bo in the emergency room.
A male college student who lost his mind after falling in love and streaked in the street with a kitchen knife in an attempt to commit suicide.
A boy in a middle school, who was excellent in character and study, fell in love with a girl at school. When the girl's father learned about it, he went to school and scolded the boy in public. The boy was angry and slammed the girl's father's head with a hammer, causing intracranial hemorrhage, while the boy committed suicide by jumping off a building.
After a couple ended their last date, the girl jumped from the moat outside the east gate of Longtan Park because she could not face the pain caused by the breakup. The girl who was finally rescued ashore had to accept another cruel ending-her boyfriend who jumped into the river to save her was unfortunately drowned.
Seven, cultivate healthy love psychology and behavior.
1, correctly distinguish between love signals and non-love signals, sexual signals and non-sexual signals, and keep your sexual psychology normal.
(1) Don't treat intercourse between men and women as sexual intercourse. In real life, there is a lot of non-sexual communication between the two sexes. To draw a clear line between friendship and love, love can only be produced for one person, but friendship can be established with many people.
(2) If you think that a certain opposite sex seems to have a good impression on yourself and may send a love signal, it is necessary to strengthen the analysis. It depends on whether the other person's attitude towards himself is accidental or consistent, and it also needs comparative observation. For example, if the other person is enthusiastic about me, will he be equally enthusiastic about others?
(3) Distinguish the nature of love signals and measure the actual situation of both parties. People's love is not only the love of both sexes, but also the love of blood, love, caress and friendship. These feelings can be expressed in an approximate way, so we should analyze them from the actual situation of both sides. For example, if a woman in her forties smiles at a young man, it is hard to imagine that this is a "love signal", perhaps because the woman thinks that the young man looks like her son.
Unrequited lovers will certainly experience a profound happiness, but more will experience emotional pain, because they can't pour out their tenderness to their beloved opposite sex normally, and they can't feel the warmth of their love.
Overcoming the pain of unrequited love lies in nip in the bud. First of all, we should be able to avoid the "illusion of love", learn to accurately observe and analyze each other's expressions, and distinguish them with heart; Depending on its repetition, the frequent occurrence of some information may be significant, but it is not enough to rely on it once or twice; Learn to analyze problems from the perspective of connection and consider some information together with other factors. If a young man often helps a girl, if this young man is enthusiastic and willing to help everyone, then this girl doesn't have to think about it; If the young man is lenient with the girl, he must pay attention.
Once unrequited love happens to you, you need to show full courage, overcome the torture of shyness and self-comfort, and bravely hit it with your heart. If the other person is interested, the soul flashes a spark of collision, and unrequited love turns into "double love", and the joy of love replaces the pain of love. If it is "intentional and heartless", it is necessary to face reality, bravely abandon fantasy, use reason to dominate feelings, and achieve psychological balance through the transformation and sublimation of thoughts and feelings.
Secret love and illusion of love are both cognitive and emotional errors in love psychology. Unrequited love makes some students fall into a painful situation, in emptiness, trouble and even despair. Improper handling will have a negative impact on future love and marriage life. Therefore, college students who fall into unrequited love should stop as soon as possible and choose again. In order to overcome the secret love and illusion of love, it is important to correctly understand the profound meaning of love, and at the same time control emotions with reason, respect each other's choices, and not be emotional.
2. Promote like-minded love.
The most important conditions in lovers' choice should be like-minded, and their ideological and moral qualities, professional ideals and interests in life are basically the same. It should be an organic combination of ideal, morality, obligation, career and sex.
In general, the development of heterosexual feelings is along the clue of acquaintance-friend-good friend-confidant-lover. When men become irreplaceable roles in women's hearts, love may come. In the process of sharing weal and woe and growing together, love will come into being and develop.
3. Correct the relationship between love and career.
Teenagers should put their career first, handle the relationship between love and career well, and not spend all their precious time on love and relax their studies. Because school is the main pillar of teenagers' values. When love is regarded as the only thing in life, love is a flower in a greenhouse, but delicate and beautiful can't stand any blow.
4. Know that love is a kind of mutual understanding, mutual trust, responsibility and dedication.
Mutual understanding is to create a relaxed and happy atmosphere for individuals and each other, and no one pursues love just to be bound; Mutual trust is a sign of self-confidence. If you don't want to believe that you are worthy of others' love, will others love him wholeheartedly? Responsibility and dedication mean personal moral cultivation, which is the basis of obtaining lofty love.
5. Develop healthy love behavior.
(1) Love words should be elegant and beautiful. Talk sincerely, frankly and naturally, and don't put on airs and show yourself affectedly; Don't be rude, abusive or rude; Get to know each other and don't ask each other endlessly, which will damage each other's self-esteem. Otherwise, it will only disgust them and hurt their feelings.
(2) Love behavior should be generous. Generally speaking, when men and women fall in love for the first time, they often feel shy and nervous at first, and with the increase of communication, they will gradually become natural and generous. Pay attention to the behavior in this period. Some people are impulsive and make intimate moves too early, which makes the other party disgusted and affects the normal development of their feelings.
(3) Intimate movements should be elegant and avoid vulgarization. Elegant intimate action exerts the pleasure and psychological effect of love, while vulgar intimate action often causes the negative psychological effect of emotional separation, which is harmful to the purity and dignity of love, to one's own image and to others.
(4) Treat each other as equals and respect each other. Don't compare each other's shortcomings with your own advantages, so as to show off and raise yourself and tease and belittle each other. It is also inappropriate to try to test each other or put on airs.