Before children go to college, parents will pay special attention to their children's learning problems, and parents can easily understand every homework or exam. But the situation is different after the children go to college. They leave home for a short time and have little time to go home. It is difficult for parents to know what will happen to their children who go to college thousands of miles away.
Parents can't worry about their children's learning problems, but how can they pay attention to their children's learning?
After the child went to college, the learning connection between parents and children seemed to be suddenly broken. Unlike before, it is difficult to keep abreast of children's learning, or even know what children are learning recently. In this regard, parents want to know how their children are doing in college. There are only two ways:
The first method: ask directly.
For children who have a good parent-child relationship or are used to reporting their studies to their parents, there is no faster way than for parents to directly ask their children about their studies. Of course, as children grow up, children who have not yet left high school will be more willing to take the initiative to talk to their parents, and as children become more and more independent, they will gradually become reluctant to talk about this issue.
The second method: ask a psychological counselor privately.
This method is adopted by many parents. In universities, children's counselors are like class teachers, and parents can learn about their children through private inquiries. However, many times a counselor is in charge of several classes, and the relationship between teachers and students in universities is relatively loose, so most parents can only learn about the final exam or some outstanding personal performance.
As a parent, Bian Xiao can understand the urgency of the relationship between parents and children's life and growth, but we should also be aware of a very important point: children have grown up after going to college, and they need more space for independent growth and free choice. Parents need to know how to let go properly and let their children have room for self-growth.
Choosing a place far from home to go to college may mean that children want to get rid of their parents' excessive attention and control. They want to make decisions for their own growth and try to feel self-choice and responsibility. As parents, if we continue to persecute our children step by step, it will only make them more and more disgusted and less willing to reveal themselves to their parents.
Going to college is different from the study career before children. Children not only need to take exams at school, but also get basic credits and grades. More importantly, children should gain some useful life experiences in college, such as some community organizations, social practice, campus competitions and so on. These are very important points for children to learn.
Therefore, the role that can be reflected in studying well in universities is actually very limited. It is more important to look at children's ability development and self-life planning. After four years of college, the focus of children's life is no longer learning, but planning and thinking about their own future and accumulating experience in social work.
Therefore, parents should talk to their children about their life direction and career planning. It is more practical than a simple college course. It is an important choice in children's life to see whether they want to continue their graduate studies or come out to work in society, and to see their employment willingness and industry choice.
Important note: Parents want to know about their children's study in college, whether directly or privately, but we also need to understand that children will become adults after they go to college, and they need more free development space. Moreover, the focus of the university is not only learning, but also the development of personal ability. Understanding a child's life plan is much more important than studying hard.