There are a pair of clear and innocent eyes in that memory, and there is a pure and innocent heart in that memory. 15, 16 years old, like grass just blooming in spring, like Xiao He's sharp horns, inadvertently reveal a kind of self-reflective beauty of life, which is unintentional and unguarded. At that age, I really didn't know how to hurt anyone, and I couldn't bear to hurt anyone.
My memory of being fifteen or sixteen years old has always been inextricably linked with our orchard. We lived in an orchard at that time. Once out of the house, there are all green fruit trees, and there are many kinds of fruit trees. Apple, plum, hawthorn, apricot, peach, pomegranate, cherry, grape, persimmon, pear and so on. I can proudly say that there were fruit trees in our town at that time, all in our garden, and even we didn't have anything else. That orchard has always been the source of my memory. It is also a treasure house of my heart.
Twenty years later, I can still clearly tell the growth position of each tree in my mind. Although I am a careless person. Sometimes even stupid enough to forget his age.
At that time, I hoped that the cold winter would pass quickly, and I earnestly hoped that spring would come soon. I like to watch the fruit trees sprout in the spring breeze. When the leaves grow slowly, I am eager to see them blossom. Of all the trees, apricot blossoms bloom the earliest. When apricot trees bloom. I should be the busiest. A white flower is all my troubles. Every morning, after school at noon and at night, the first thing to do is to see apricot flowers. Greedy little eyes looked at this flower greedily and then at that flower. Every one of them is my baby. When the petals blown off by the wind flow away with the river under the tree, I will frown with love. At that time, I was particularly eager to have ten magic fingers, and I wanted to use them to freeze the apricot flowers when they were always in bloom. When I told my father this idea, he smiled at me and said, silly. Silly me, at that time, my coat pocket often contained falling apricot flowers.
When I have nothing to do, I will take a mat and spread it under the apricot tree, then lie leisurely under the tree and watch the white clouds float into the blue sky through the leaves. Tired of watching it, one by one, I had to count the Xinger trees turning yellow.
It was then that I realized that I especially liked this undisturbed peace. But it was also at that time that I felt a little lonely from the heart. There is a deep sense of inferiority in my heart, which makes me very depressed and makes me ashamed to contact others and confide my inner feelings to others. But I don't want others to see through my shyness, so I try my best to hide my loneliness with a sense of meaninglessness and detachment.
The formation of a person's personality is inseparable from the family environment. I always thought I didn't like my mother. I am not a beautiful girl, and I don't have the delicate feeling of a girl. I can only grow up silently in my own heart with unknown strength and stubbornness, with unknown gentleness and kindness. In fact, only I know how much I want to be spoiled by my parents. In my memory after I was five years old, my mother never kissed me affectionately, never hugged me intimately, never had a long talk with me, or even held my hand tightly.
I didn't mean to blame my mother. On the contrary, I should thank my mother from my heart. But she taught me very early that not being cared about is not a heavy loss. Therefore, today, in the face of the harm that others have done to me, I will not cry. So on a rainy night tonight, I will have such a wonderful memory.