This is a common education for many families in China, and it is also a common problem. Parents are too self-centered and ignore the dominant position of their children in the process of growing up.
The daughter's purple hair made her parents board a hot search. On May 22nd, Sun Li exposed some beautiful photos about her daughter on social media. Many smiles in the camera look particularly sweet and confident. A lot of newly dyed purple short hair is also so beautiful and fashionable. Because of this short purple hair, Sun Li and Huang Lei also boarded the hot search.
As we all know, Huang Duoduo is 13 years old this year. In the eyes of most parents in China, it is inappropriate for a 65,438+03-year-old girl to dress so mature, dye her hair, get her ears pierced and dress up too much.
In the eyes of some traditional parents? A heinous crime? That's right, so many people think that Huang Lei and Sun Li spoil their daughters too much to tolerate their rebellious behavior.
This may be the idea of netizens who only know one thing and don't know another. Of course, there is another voice in response to this incident, and that is to praise the education in Huang Lei and Sun Li.
Parents who have accomplished nothing will impose their ideas on their children. ?
Huang Lei and Sun Li's education for their daughters is actually? Tight inside and loose outside? Judging from the daily piano practice and other studies shared by Sun Li, the husband and wife attach great importance to interest cultivation, study and education.
In life, Duoduo and Sun Li are more like sisters, accompanying each other and growing together, which many families can't do, and it is also the success of education in Sun Li and Huang Lei.
In the face of children's adolescent rebellion, Chinese-style family education either uses beating or scolding to restrain children's behavior, which often makes children feel depressed and depressed from childhood and always lives in the shadow of their parents' childhood education.
There are many educational entertainment circles in Tianhou, which are similar to those in Huang Lei, Sun Li. For example, Faye Wong, Tianhou, educated her two daughters, Leah Dou and Li Yan. Stocking policy? . Faye Wong pays more attention to getting along with children than restraining them.
We all know that Faye Wong's youngest daughter, Li Yan, was born with congenital diseases. She is also 13 years old this year. Because of her mother, she has gradually begun to participate in various activities and get in touch with the public's vision. Li Yan is not timid in the face of the camera, full of confidence and very motherly.
If it is another family, the daughter is like this. Presumably, most parents want to protect their daughters from criticism. However, Faye Wong developed with the children themselves, and Li Yan once broadcasted makeup through a live broadcast platform. In the video, Li Yan is not inferior at all.
This is inseparable from Faye Wong's careful education and companionship, including the education of his eldest daughter, Leah Dou. Faye Wong never exercised restraint. In dress, Leah Dou also appeared in front of the audience in a completely different way, which is his own personality.
Perhaps for Faye Wong, the best education for two children is to let them follow their own ideas and not be bound by secular rules and regulations. High lived a wonderful life.
What educational methods are worth learning in Huang Lei and Sun Li? Huang Lei once took her daughter to many variety shows, and also expressed her parenting ideas in the shows. There are many educational methods, which are worth learning and using for reference by most parents.
1. When educating children, don't simply deny them, but explain the truth to them.
Most families in China can't get rid of the traditional concept, and there is always a concept that parents are above their children.
When a child makes a wrong behavior, parents do not tell the truth to the child, but directly criticize and demand it. This mode of getting along will only lead to a worse parent-child relationship, which will eventually alienate them completely.
On the contrary, when educating her daughter, Huang Lei paid more attention to explaining the truth to her children, rather than simply denying their wrong behavior.
In a variety show, Duoduo doesn't want to wear a microphone. Huang Lei's first reaction was not to reprimand the children, but to tell Toto what would happen if he didn't wear a microphone: after the later program, no one knew what you were talking about. Then, Huang Lei playfully imitated the final effect. After listening to his father, Dodo went into the room and put on a microphone.
Because of the age of the children, I like to do many things too casually, and I can't imagine the final result. However, the purpose of parental education is to let children understand the consequences of not doing so and bear it independently. In this process, children can really grow up.
2. The importance of friendship
The importance of parents accompanying their children cannot be ignored. In previous families, parents always paid too much attention to money and neglected their children's own dependence on themselves.
When a child lets his parents play with him for a day, doesn't it? I don't go to work to make money. What do you eat? , is it? Mom is very busy. Will she buy you toys after making money? On the grounds of neglecting children's needs for parental love.
Huang Lei has participated in many variety shows and acted in many TV plays. As can be seen from the photos and videos released by Huang Lei on the public platform, as long as he has time, Huang Lei is cooking for his daughter and growing up with his children in his spare time.
Huang Lei, a former university teacher, can better understand how important it is for children's growth and education to be accompanied by their parents. For example, Duoduo learned to ride a bike for the first time, and Huang Lei also took part. Although it is not successful, it will leave a place in the growth of a lot.
In addition, Huang Lei pays more attention to high-quality companionship. For example, while riding a bike with her daughter, Huang Lei proposed a competition to see who would get home first. In this process, he not only had spiritual communication with his daughter, but also gave her confidence.
In various swings and sports in the later period, Huang Lei also actively communicated with her daughter in the form of friends, opened her heart and accompanied her daughter to grow up healthily.
3. Find a common hobby with your children.
Children are not static in the process of growing up. If parents want to have a common topic with their children, they must have common interests and hobbies. In this regard, Huang Lei's practice is worth learning from many parents.
For example, both Huang Lei and her daughter like baking bread. In the process of making bread, the daughter can enjoy the fun and feel the company of her father. Many children like watching cartoons, and many are no exception. My Neighbor Totoro and The Witch's Home Delivery are both very popular, and Huang Lei will accompany him in this process.
It can be seen that the best education for children is not mandatory, but to get along and communicate like friends.
4. Respect children's aesthetics.
Children are in an important period of adolescent development and have different aesthetics from their parents.
Some traditional parents can't accept their children's dressing styles that don't match their age characteristics, so they have conflicts with their children, and finally the parent-child relationship deteriorates.
Duoduo, like every girl, has the psychology of loving beauty, and her parents respect her ideas. Huang Lei once said in public that as long as it is not too much, she can wear it. This may be an important reason why father and daughter can get along so well.
5. Views on puppy love
There is a video about Huang Lei's views on puppy love. Huang Lei himself thinks the word puppy love is wrong. It is normal for a daughter to fall in love at the age of fifteen. The seed of love, this is not puppy love, but a process of growth.
When asked if her daughter Duoduo would look through her diary and mobile phone, Huang Lei said no.
He said: this is a sign of a girl's self-growth. She should have a little secret. What parents can do is to guide their children correctly, tell them what is right and wrong, and how to treat this emotion between men and women correctly.
In fact, the best education is to make children feel comfortable.
In the traditional education in China, it is generally that parents will beat and scold their children after encountering things that do not meet their age characteristics, which is the most unwise education for children. Children can't really grow up, but hate their parents, causing psychological shadows.
What really makes children feel comfortable is that they have a relative freedom in physiology. When they want to do something, they can get help and affirmation from their parents.
2. mentally
Let the children feel comfortable mentally. Parents should not restrain their children with their own thoughts. Don't overemphasize their authority and let the children dominate their own lives.
What parents need to do is to let their children understand right and wrong, distinguish right from wrong, guide them a little when they make mistakes, and arouse their own thinking.
3. Relationship
Parents and children can depend on each other, but not too much. They have a common language and private space. Only by grasping the degree of getting along well can children really grow up and feel the joy of growing up.
It is not so difficult for parents to treat their children's education. They should know their own roles, grasp the sense of proportion, handle the relationship between them and do a good job in guiding their children's lives. Parents will find that it is not so difficult to be an enviable family.