Ways to treat boys' adolescence
Generally speaking, adolescence is from the age of eleven or twelve to seventeen or eighteen, and later adolescence is from seventeen or eighteen to twenty-four or five.
Broadly speaking, adolescence and late adolescence can be called adolescence. In adolescence, male adolescents not only develop rapidly, but also gradually mature their reproductive system, showing a male posture with secondary sexual characteristics such as deep voice, prominent throat, long beard and pubic hair. Moreover, many psychological diseases related to sexual development also occurred during this period, so parents should pay special attention to the following issues during boys' adolescence:
First, sexual obscurity, nocturnal emission and masturbation
Men usually start nocturnal emission at the age of 15. This is because after puberty, the testicles gradually mature and produce sperm, and the seminal plasma secreted by the seminal vesicle, prostate and other accessory glands is discharged from the urethra, and then nocturnal emission occurs.
According to statistics, about 80% unmarried young people have nocturnal emission, and it is normal to have nocturnal emission once a week. However, if 1 week has multiple spermatorrhea or semen flows out as soon as sexual impulse occurs, it is a pathological state. As for folklore, a drop of sperm and a drop of blood will greatly weaken the vitality of nocturnal emission, which has no scientific reason.
Some teenagers stimulate their organs with their hands or other appliances to make them erect and ejaculate, so as to achieve sexual satisfaction. This behavior is called masturbation. Modern physiological psychologists do not hold a completely negative attitude towards masturbation, but believe that masturbation is a manifestation of the normal development of sex and physiology. But frequent masturbation can also make people feel trance, tired and listless.
The cause of frequent nocturnal emission or masturbation is that the penis is stimulated by external factors, such as excessive foreskin, which causes scaling and inflammation of the penis. But the most important factor is that obscene books and pornographic videos abound in today's society, teenagers are in a state of excitement for a long time, and the frequency of spinal nerve receiving signals is too high, resulting in frequent nocturnal emission or nocturnal emission. Spermatorrhea and masturbation are twin brothers, because ejaculation can produce pleasure and cause masturbation, while excessive masturbation can cause frequent spermatorrhea.
To avoid frequent nocturnal emission, controlling masturbation habits is the key. As far as teenagers are concerned, they should make up their minds to get rid of the bad habit of masturbating often. At ordinary times, they should concentrate on their studies, take part in more cultural and sports activities, don't sleep late, don't have too thick quilts and tight underwear, and keep their sexual centers in a proper state of inhibition, especially don't watch pornographic books and videos to avoid being addicted to them.
Also pay attention to vulva hygiene, and those with too long foreskin can be circumcised. As parents, we should educate our children about sexual knowledge in time and properly, enhance their understanding of sexual knowledge, break the "mystery" of sex, and let them get out of the sexual obscurity safely.
Second, children should be allowed to reject nude paintings.
Nowadays, many boys' rooms and dormitories are hung with large sexy portraits of people with bare breasts and bare arms. A survey on juvenile sex crimes shows that 42% of teenagers who commit sex crimes start from collecting and watching paintings or pictures.
Experts pointed out that boys and girls are in the second stage of sexual development, quietly giving out hazy sexual consciousness and generating sexual imagination and desire. Enter the sexual desire stage, at this time, some of them will collect "sexual information" hungrily. As one of the carriers of sexual information, nude painting undoubtedly urges them to step into the "forbidden zone" prematurely and become sexual experiencers.
From a physiological point of view, sexual desire is an instinctive requirement of human beings. Sexy portraits can make teenagers feel a certain degree of psychological satisfaction, arouse sexual thoughts and impulses, and also induce excessive masturbation and psychosexuality. However, due to the immature psychology of teenagers, the balance between excitement and inhibition of nervous system is still quite fragile, which arouses a strong sense of superiority prematurely, leading to insomnia, dreaminess, listlessness, neurasthenia and other diseases, which are harmful to physical and mental health and have a negative impact on study, work and life.
Third, prevent the gender error of inversion of yin and yang.
Determine the sex of a baby after birth, mainly by examining its reproductive organs. However, there is a male perineal hypospadias. The urethra opens in the perineum in front of the anus, and the scrotum divides to both sides, especially the labia majora of women. The penis is smaller and contracts between the scrotum. If examined carefully, two testicles can be palpated in the scrotum.
However, some parents often mistake the baby's sex for female because of negligence. For example, a student who is about to graduate from junior high school went to the hospital for treatment because she found a gender mistake, and after shaping hypospadias, the original "female" was changed to a male.
It should be noted that most children nowadays are only children, some parents like boys and some like girls; The boy gave birth to a girl's name, dressed as a girl, and let him play with the girl. Over time, children unconsciously regard themselves as women and lose the masculinity of adulthood. This kind of physiological misunderstanding and psychological misleading must be corrected in time at the early stage of development, otherwise it will directly hinder the healthy development of children's body and mind.
Fourth, the psychological pressure brought by cryptorchidism.
Under normal circumstances, a child's testicles have fallen into the scrotum in the neonatal period. If they fail to fall into the scrotum and stay in the groin or abdominal cavity, they are called cryptorchidism. This disease accounts for about 0 in adults. 2%。 Suffering from cryptorchidism, due to the influence of high temperature in the body, the spermatogenic epithelium of cryptorchidism shrinks after puberty and cannot produce sperm; Most patients with bilateral cryptorchidism are infertile due to azoospermia.
In addition, cryptorchidism is located in the groin, which is easy to cause crush injury. Cryptorchidism can also lead to malignant transformation if it is affected by warmth for a long time. According to statistics, the testicular tumor and incidence rate of cryptorchidism patients are 20-48 times higher than that of ordinary people.
When children with cryptorchidism play with their children, they find that they lack balls, which will leave regrets in their hearts. If they are laughed at by their peers again, it will aggravate their psychological harm. I don't want to talk to my parents. If parents are careless again, children will be seriously hurt physically and mentally when they grow up.
If cryptorchidism is found in time and fixed in the scrotum when the child is 9- 1 1 year old, about 80% of the patients can gain fertility. However, only 10% of patients without surgical treatment can have children. Therefore, when entering adolescence, if you find that your testicles have not fallen into the scrotum, you should seek medical treatment as soon as possible.
Some suggestions on adolescent sex education for boys
Father is the best sex education teacher for boys.
Many middle-aged men will recall that they often faced sexual problems when they were young, and as a result, they had a heavy mental burden and could not breathe for a long time. This is a very common phenomenon in the historical background of sexual imprisonment at that time. In order to make their son become a man smoothly and not repeat the historical tragedy, they are willing to start with family sex education so that children can obtain scientific, timely, moderate and appropriate sexual knowledge at all stages of development. This starting point is undoubtedly good, but it is not as easy to practice as imagined. Therefore, following some basic principles will help Weibo as a father.
First of all, the most important premise is to handle the relationship between father and son. Good sex education needs to establish a relationship of love and respect between father and son.
If a "father" always leaves a rude, indifferent, stern and impatient impression on his children, and they are not pleasing to the eye, and the children try to stay away from their father like mice see cats, how can they talk openly and equally between father and son?
Secondly, fathers must play games and talk with their children, listen to their voices, acknowledge their hobbies and feelings, share their interests and happiness, even their hobbies, and support their hobbies with respect.
Some men mistakenly believe that since we want to cultivate boys' courage and determination, we can't get too close to them. In fact, boys, like girls, also need physical intimacy, especially from their fathers. This warm touch will help them form a sense of security, let them understand that people should establish emotional ties and learn how to love others. Physical intimacy is the basic means to show and convey love and support.
Third, don't think that sex education is about sexual skills. Children don't usually wake up one morning and suddenly ask a lot of sexual questions.
They will always ask all kinds of sex-related questions when they grow up. Their problems gradually emerged. Sex education for children should follow the camera. Of course, the sooner the better, the more real the better.
Finally, it is worth pointing out that it takes time to educate love and cultivate the affection between father and son. No matter how busy you are, you should take time to spend with your son. Education without fatherly love is not a comprehensive education.
Sex education is easier said than done. Only by communicating with children on an equal footing and putting forward their own views, rather than imposing them on them, can we convince people by reasoning, that is, handle the relationship between father and son and do a good job in family sex education.
When some boys reach puberty, they are often reluctant to take a bath with their father. The child refused to take a bath with his father, indicating that he had entered the late adolescence and his body began to mature. Some normal phenomena, such as nocturnal emission, he doesn't know what it is. On the contrary, he thinks he has done "bad things" and is afraid that his parents will know. At this time, fathers should pay attention to: first of all, don't scold, don't lose your temper because you refuse to take a shower together, or blame your children. You should congratulate your son on his maturity. If you don't choose the right attitude, children will have fear and guilt about sex. Second, you naturally and generously teach your son some sexual knowledge and tell him how to face the upcoming physiological changes correctly. We believe that in sex education, the father should be the best teacher for his son.
How should mothers educate boys about sex?
Suggestion 1: Help boys to establish a correct view of gender.
Although a person's gender is determined at the moment of fertilization, on the psychological level, the psychological development of gender is from 3 years old to adulthood and reaches its peak in adolescence.
Children around the age of 3 will clearly know whether they are boys or girls, but they will also ask curiously why girls wear long hair and skirts to play house wine, while boys wear pants and short hair to play horse riding games. This is the beginning of children's gender psychological development. At this stage, mothers should pay attention to two principles, one is to let boys know how to protect their bodies, and the other is to let boys have a positive image of all parts of their bodies.
Research shows that as an only-child boy, he is loved by his parents and elders since childhood, seldom takes outdoor sports, likes watching cartoons and playing computer at home, is used to jumping and illogical thinking, and doesn't know how to feel the people and things around him, so he is easy to become selfish and indifferent. Some boys are old enough to get married and still think like children. They have no sense of "shoulders" at all and can't bear the heavy burden. So mothers should cultivate boys' gender awareness as soon as possible.
Suggestion 2: Tell boys about sex naturally.
The mother let the boy know his body. They don't have to be as serious and orthodox as teachers teach students. There are many natural ways in life. For example, to bathe a boy, you can tell him the names and functions of various parts of your body and turn bathing into an interesting game. When changing clothes in public, tell him not to change clothes in public, but to find a sheltered place because some parts of his body are private. In this way, boys naturally know their gender and realize the difference between men and women.
For children's sexual problems, mothers should try to tell him in simple language that these are natural things, so that children can have a correct and scientific understanding of the body. Mother will generously mention the words "breasts" and "dry in the shade", just as naturally as telling him that this is an apple and that is a banana. Of course, at the same time, we must tell our children that some parts of the human body are private and privacy cannot be exposed, otherwise it will be embarrassing.
Mother must first correct her own thoughts, so as to give the boy the correct guidance. In fact, boys' questions about sex are as simple as "What to eat tonight". Mom only needs a very intuitive answer, and too many in-depth answers will confuse the boy's thinking.
Recommendation 3: Conduct sex moral education for boys.
Early sex education is related to the healthy growth of boys' body and mind, and also to the stability of family and society. Sex education includes many aspects such as sex physiology, sex psychology, sex morality and sex ethics, among which sex morality is a very important part.
Sexual morality is the sum total of social norms for human beings to adjust sexual behavior of both sexes. It can maintain the stability of social order and ensure the normal progress of social life. Generally speaking, the content of sexual morality can be summarized as: sexual ethics; Correct views on love, chastity and fertility. Its core is love and respect.
Mothers should educate boys to respect the privacy of themselves and others. Boys should be instilled with the concept of privacy from the beginning of sex education. The mother should tell the boy that the genitals are private parts of people, and others have no right to see or touch this part without permission.
Mothers should send positive messages to boys through nonverbal behaviors, such as the principles of mutual respect, loyalty, sharing housework, respecting the old and loving the young, helping others, being polite, being serious and responsible for their work, being honest and trustworthy, which is the best education for children.
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