In the book Seeing Different Worlds Together, Chen Zhihua wrote: "Where is home? As a citizen of the world in the 2 1 century, it seems that you can feel at home everywhere, but for any growing child, the companionship of parents is definitely the most precious and sweet family imprint in the growing years. This is also the theme we are going to discuss this time: What are the core values of family and education? Undeniably, many people yearn for "education immigration" and follow Meng Mu's three measures, perhaps to let their children go abroad independently, or to let one parent accompany their children abroad.
However, Chen Zhihua told us that they never travel around the world because of educational factors, but their family's life footprint is affected by the change of their husbands' career. The key point is that when children grow up, they will be accompanied by their parents, which will have the greatest impact. Many parents who rush about for their children's education must understand that any choice is a kind of "sacrifice", which may sacrifice their parents' career planning, their emotional connection with their parents, or their children may not adapt at all. However, no matter which education method you choose, you have to go back and consider the current family situation and whether family members (whether adults or children) can accept such an arrangement.
Parents should do what they can.
Strengthen your parenting attitude. The thinking experience on the education website may also be due to Chen Zhihua's long-term participation in education in different countries. In addition, in the process of raising two children, he learned a unique parenting method. For education, it is both experience and experience. Although the child is old, he still remembers the dribs and drabs of parenting.
Most readers of this magazine focus on novice parents. Chen Zhihua sincerely reminds: "Every choice made by parents is very important in the process of children's growth. 」
Seeing that the fertility rate in Taiwan Province Province is decreasing year by year (although the Chinese people's fertility rate is slightly reduced due to the influence of the Year of the Loong in the Republic of China10/2000), Chinese people tend to have only children, so they seldom have two children, and more than three families are born. Because of this, Chen Zhihua clearly felt that Taiwan Province's parents were infected with a kind of "collective anxiety disorder" in the education of their children.
In the article "Best Choice", the reader once asked her "How to choose a kindergarten for her children". Chen Zhihua said: "As parents, children will inevitably feel confused and scared at the initial stage of learning. Therefore, asking around, asking, thinking, worrying and finally making a choice is almost a necessary process for new parents. However, she went on to tell her parents: "Children in early childhood don't need too much, so parents don't have to worry too much. 」
Chen Zhihua told us that not only in kindergarten, but also in every stage of children's growth, parents will encounter troubles of different sizes. For novice parents facing educational problems for the first time, in addition to carefully choosing a safe environment; After understanding the teaching philosophy of each kindergarten, the next step is to choose a kindergarten with the concept of "comparability". After the decision, it is no longer necessary to see whose children seem to have gone to a good kindergarten and began to shake the original choice. In this way, children will also be affected by the uncertainty of adults. Unless the baby has adjustment problems or the teacher is impatient, parents need to change the existing situation immediately. Otherwise, the environment of early childhood is usually based on safety, health, happiness and enlightenment, which is a good educational environment.
Chen Zhihua believes that parents should do their best. Although many parents don't want their children to lose at the starting point, sometimes parents think that good things are not suitable for their children. Life is long, so is education. You won't completely decide your child's future because of a certain stage. The focus is on the support of parents accompanying their children. Chen Zhihua wrote in the book: "As a parent, watching a child's ups and downs and gritting his teeth in the transition process of life, all he can do after distress is to accompany, encourage, understand, communicate and assist, and sincerely pray that he can spend it safely. In the future, when children grow up, they will have the ability to explore themselves, take the initiative to learn and take responsibility for themselves.
Strengthening their parenting attitude education is always a step-by-step process. After six years in Finland and three years in Taiwan Province Province, facing the educational environment in Taiwan Province Province, Chen Zhihua said frankly that the educational environment in Taiwan Province Province still followed the model of exam-oriented study in the past, but it is gratifying to see that more and more parents began to participate in parent growth classes and get in touch with different educational concepts, so that the seeds of diversified education slowly took root in the hearts of parents in Taiwan Province Province.
People always say that it takes ten years to plant trees and a hundred years to cultivate people. Children are observing the world from birth, so education is always progressive, not just in school. We asked Chen Zhihua, what is the most important thing in the process of children's growth? Chen Zhihua shared with us that besides physical health as a basic priority, character education is the next step. She observed that even children have high imitation ability, which is always beyond the imagination of adults, especially "what parents are like, children will definitely see it." The more traditional saying is to teach by example, which will also be an educational wealth that affects children's lives. " 」
Chen Zhihua believes that as long as adults have children around them, their words and deeds are role models for children. She often sees parents accusing their children, and then she will see the children turn to scold other children. For example, when she gave a speech in Kuala Lumpur, it happened that the organizer brought her four-year-old daughter to the scene. Before the speech, Chen Zhihua's action of mending lipstick happened to be seen by the little girl. She followed suit and pursed her lips, which surprised her mother. She had never put on makeup and had no cosmetics at home, but the little girl immediately saw Chen Zhihua's action and imitated it vividly. An unintentional behavior of adults, like magic, affects children, but many times adults don't know that they have such great influence.
Chen Zhihua also clearly pointed out in his book that character and civic education, if only used for rote examinations, will not be of much help to the long-term quality of life and civic literacy of society. The so-called character education actually comes from the whole society. Adults who can recognize from the heart and set an example are the best education and demonstration.
Parenting attitude should be firm. Parenting attitude should be firm. As parents, there will inevitably be anxiety in the process of children's growth. Facing the dazzling array of parenting books on the market, it seems as if I approached a shoe store and saw piles of shoes, and I was at a loss for a while. However, as long as you accompany your children with your heart and discover their characteristics, you will find shoes suitable for you and your children in the process. Chen Zhihua believes that novice parents can learn from parent-child books, explore, learn, revise and grow from them, find their own ideas, urge themselves to refine and mature on the road of parenting, and finally return to their parents to judge and choose their own and their children's parenting ideas.
For example, Winnicott, a famous British pediatrician, once gave a speech to mothers all over the country through the British National Radio. He said, "I talk about the importance of holding a child all day, but in fact, I don't know how to hold a child at all. He also hopes that mothers will be cautious about experts' advice. Experts may not really know how to take care of children better than you, but the most important thing is your intuition. As an expert who has seen thousands of mothers and babies, Winnicott knows that the most important thing is to let caregivers know what they are doing and how far-reaching it is.
One thing, Chen Zhihua also wants to remind parents that there are many ways to love their children. In addition to companionship, there is an eternal truth, and that is the word "respect". It is common to see children clamoring for candy, but parents finally give them candy, but many parents will find that after a long time, children will become lawless. The essence of respect lies in establishing a rule and norm between parents and children. The two sides recognize each other in a parallel and equal way. Adults know children's needs and vice versa. This is respect so that parents and children can really share and communicate in the future.
Take a dazzling array of parenting books as a mirror. In the book "Looking at a Different World Together", there is not too much theory of hanging schoolbags in every article, and all of them are observed and written from children's education in daily life. Chen Zhihua said that there are many ways to raise children, and she also understands the anxiety and anxiety of many novice parents. Through reading, she was lucky to learn how to be a parent and how to take care of her newborn daughter, making herself a short-term "medical and parenting expert". After reading the words shared by different experts, teachers and parents, she can get a little support on the lonely parenting road, absorb parenting methods from all over the world, and pick up what information is useful to her before choosing.
Chen Zhihua: Master of Visual Communication, Manchester City University, UK. At present, he is a freelance writer, columnist, lecturer of Intel's innovative thinking education program in Taiwan Province Province, and honorary head of the "Love Your Life" guardian group of the National Parents' Federation. In recent years, he has devoted himself to writing and sharing his works: there are no gifted classes, and he attaches importance to the Finnish education of every child; Every child is the first: 45 compulsory courses in Finnish education for parents in Taiwan Province Province; Achieving every child: from Helsinki to Taibei, a survey report on education in Chen Zhihua; Beautiful Finland: building a great aesthetic country through education; See different worlds together: Finland, Taiwan Province Province and Australia.