Mencius had already discussed this problem more than two thousand years ago. The original text is like this: "Sun Chou said:' If a gentleman doesn't teach his son, why not?' Mencius said:' Impossible. The teacher must be right and wrong, and then get angry. If you continue to be angry, you will be defeated. The master taught me to be right, but what the master did was not right. Also a father and son. If father and son are estranged, it is evil.
The ancients changed their children and taught them, but father and son did not blame goodness. If you complain about goodness, you will leave, and if you leave, it will be ominous. Education must be carried out in the right way, but once it has no effect, it will inevitably get angry. When it gets angry, it will have a negative impact, damage the feelings between father and son, and fail to achieve the expected results. This sentence is right, but think about it carefully; If a father insists on educating his children in the right way from beginning to end, what's the point of saying that "a father doesn't teach his children"? I'm afraid ordinary people can't do it, perhaps to get rid of themselves and make excuses.
Fathers teach their children only about family education, and there are countless successful examples of family education from ancient times to the present. Such as Meng Mu Godson, Kong Rong Qinli and Huang Xiang Warm Pad. , too numerous to mention; Zhuge Liang's Xun Shu was also famous during the Three Kingdoms period. Yan Zhitui, who made the greatest contribution to family education in ancient times, said in his book "Family Instructions of Yan Family": "When you are young, you should know people's colors and feelings, and you should teach them, but you should stop. Compared with a few years older, you can save punishment. If parents are dignified and kind, their children will be filial. " "mortals can't teach their children and don't want to be caught in their sins; But anger is heavier than anger, anger hurts its color, and it can't bear to hurt its skin and ears. Taking the disease as a metaphor, how can Andrew be saved without a decocting needle? Can those who should also be diligent and thrifty treat their own flesh and blood cruelly? If necessary. " "The strictness of father and son cannot be abolished; Love with flesh and blood, not Jane. Jane is lazy if she doesn't accept filial piety. " Although Yan said that family education should be strict, it can also prove that family education will be successful as long as it is treated correctly.
Zeng Guofan in modern times can also be described as a great man. Although posthumous title was a writer after his death, his martial arts are obvious to all. He is not only self-disciplined, but also successful in educating children. Letters from Zeng Guofan is another family education model. He said to his son Ceng Jize, "The methods of reading and writing are indispensable every day." "People's temperament is hard to change because they are born with it, but reading can change their temperament." Under his education, Ceng Jize finally became a famous diplomat in the modern history of China.
There are many successful examples not only in ancient times, but also today.
The successful example of Godson is Fu Lei, a famous translator in China. His "Letter from Fu Lei" is really painstaking and devoted to the love of a father for his son. In more than ten years, he wrote more than one hundred letters to his eldest son, Fu Cong, totaling more than one million words. When he was a child, he was very strict with Fu Cong, almost to the point of being harsh and abusive. It is this kind of strictness that created Fu Cong in the future and laid a solid foundation for him to become a world-class pianist.
In today's information society, there are also many successful examples of family education, such as Liu Yiting, a Harvard girl, and Zhang Xinyang, who was admitted to university at the age of ten. Isabella Chow, who created appreciation education, trained her daughter Zhou Tingting, who was deaf due to illness. Zhou Tingting is also known as the contemporary Helen Keller. All these can prove that fathers can educate their children well as long as they follow the right methods!
Some people say that "fathers don't teach their children", but they are actually excusing themselves and making excuses. The real purpose is not to pay, not to spend too much energy on educating children, and to be irresponsible to children. What's more, such people don't pay attention to their own image at home. I met such a father: he crossed his legs at home, smoked a cigarette, walked in the clouds and fog, but said to his son,' Son! Smoking is not good, you can't smoke in the future!' Imagine, will such a father educate his children well?
From this point of view, as long as we really attach importance to children and use the right methods, the sentence "Father does not teach children" is untenable.