A few days ago, my daughter's kindergarten organized a parent forum. Different from the past, this symposium is mainly about parents' discussion and speech. Discuss what parents are most concerned about: how to educate their children?
How to educate children? Many of us push education to schools, which is actually unreasonable. "It's your father's fault that you don't teach." Parents have an unshirkable responsibility to educate their children. Although the school is an indisputable place for children to receive education, more than 80% of what children learn at school is about knowledge and culture. But how to be a man, this basic moral principle, is learned from the usual behavior of parents and relatives. Parents are their children's first teachers, and their words and deeds have a far-reaching impact on their children's growth.
Every child is as pure and natural as a blank sheet of paper at the beginning of birth. With the meticulous care and care of parents, children grow up slowly. At every moment of growing up, parents are always passing on their words and deeds, habits and qualities to their children. Children have no freedom of choice, but can only passively accept it. No matter whether the knowledge or standards they accept are correct or not, during this period, children have no basic judgment standards, so they can't judge right or wrong. Everything parents say and do is truth in children's eyes.
Some parents always talk more than they do in the process of educating their children. They know exactly what to teach their children, but they don't know how to teach them. They generally only ask their children to do this, not unilaterally ask them to do that. But in quite a few cases, they can't do it by themselves, that is to say, they can't master what they ask their children to learn or master, or they don't do enough or even do it at all. The so-called "example is more important than words." In the process of educating children, if parents often have such a situation, it is necessary to seriously review it, because such parents can't educate excellent children under normal circumstances. Because the child's first thought is what parents should do on this issue. How to deal with it? For example, you educate your children to care for environmental sanitation, stress social morality and not throw peels, but you don't develop good habits in daily life, and often throw garbage downstairs by pushing the window ... Will children who grow up in this environment care for the environment? I don't think so. If there are exceptions, then the child should have received positive education from school and society. How will children treat their parents with different words and deeds? I don't know if I will have differences, estrangement or even disgust with my parents over time.
God gave every child an equal gift. Growing up is like a marathon with the same starting point. Who is the final winner, the key is the process. The key to this process control lies in parents and family education. "There are never bad employees in the world, only incompetent leaders." Similarly, there are no naughty children, only incompetent parents. Here, please don't confuse it with "inherit the wind" and cause misunderstanding. Of course, if we must discuss it together, I personally think that unfilial children are ultimately the result of parents' education. (statement: I'm not here to make excuses for people who don't honor their parents. Because I never think that unfilial behavior is aboveboard, and there is no reason to pay for unfilial behavior, but the influence of parents is very important. )
Its sages have a saying: [its body is right, it does not make it; Although it is not straight, it is difficult to keep up. Therefore, people who want to blame others will be more tolerant and less controversial if they can ask themselves first. Fatwa can be completed without losing goodwill. As for the immortal Buddha cloud, without this man, he never achieved anything. Special mood and different ears. But I can do my best. Heaven is only in the present.
Parents are children's The "first teacher", parents' words and deeds, conduct, etc. are all objects that children imitate. The ancients still knew that "words and deeds, practice." "After class, Sun teaches himself first, becomes an immortal first, becomes a Buddha first, and becomes an adult first". To educate children, we must first start from ourselves.
Educating children is the duty and responsibility of every parent. However, educating children is a rather complicated problem, which is not our natural talent. After being a parent, it is naturally impossible. It requires us to constantly explore and think in practice, and find more reasonable ways and means that are more conducive to children's growth needs. But children are unique and cannot be copied and replaced. Every child has a different personality and talent. We can't educate every child in the same way, which will stifle children's vitality and creativity. Therefore, we must adjust measures to local conditions and teach students in accordance with their aptitude.
Teaching students in accordance with their aptitude requires parents to clearly understand and master their children's personality characteristics and hobbies. Then carry out targeted guidance. Children's personalities can be roughly divided into two categories: one is a quiet and obedient baby. They are often timid, lack independent opinions and are highly dependent. However, due to introversion, they seldom express their personal views, appear easy-going and obedient, and seldom cry. It is a baby that people usually think is easy to take care of.
Another kind of baby is lively, with distinct personality, very opinionated and strong, and often insists on his own opinions and does not listen to dissuasion. They are lively and curious, and often cry loudly to express their protests against their different views and opinions. Usually people think that such a baby is disobedient and difficult to serve.
But personality can't determine whether you are smart or not. In general, people will think that babies who are active and quick-witted are smarter. In fact, there is no scientific basis for this. Because, quick reaction can only show that his action coordination ability is good, but not that his thinking ability is good. Therefore, no matter what kind of baby, it is smart.
Therefore, we can't judge a child subjectively. We can't analyze children's world according to our point of view. Every child is an independent individual, they have their own thoughts, likes and dislikes, interests ... For these, I don't agree with parents forcibly passing their views on to their children. To be obedient, children should first think from the child's point of view, respect and trust children.
Once the child's outlook on life, values, right and wrong, etc. It's formed, and it's hard to change. We can't do experiments with children. We can't stand this kind of tossing, which will make us and our children physically and mentally exhausted. It is this uniqueness and unrepeatability that makes it impossible for us to educate our children in a constant way. It is precisely because the process of educating children is long and full of variables that people have been exploring and practicing how to educate children since ancient times. Never ending!