Recently, there is a new bottom line.
After widowhood and parenting
There has been another fraudulent parenting.
It is said that it has pierced the hearts of many middle-aged old mothers!
First, let's take a look.
What is widowed parenting?
Widowed parenting is a phenomenon, which means that some fathers are busy with work and social activities, but just absent from educating their children.
It is in the process of educating children that dad's sense of participation is weak.
So what is fraudulent parenting?
Specifically, the father is often absent from family education, but occasionally blames the child and mother for things that the child doesn't like.
But without knowing the cause and effect, this arbitrary accusation will bring more harm to both the child and the mother.
For your convenience.
take for example
Many mothers probably feel the same way.
Therefore, many mothers say
Compared with widowed parenting
More "hate" fraudulent parenting
The characteristics of "cheating corpse to raise children"
Widowed parenting mostly happens when children are 0~2 years old. At this time, the father is generally "dead". Although a person is very tired, at least no one tells them what to do.
With the growth of children, through communication, "fake corpse" parenting parents appeared. Most fathers think that they have mastered some advanced parenting concepts, interfered with their children's education, and had conceptual conflicts with their mothers, forming a scene where one mountain can't accommodate two tigers and water can't match each other, making the road to bringing a baby more difficult.
Some netizens summed up several characteristics of "fraudulent corpse parenting":
(1) All kinds of blind orders to do nothing, waiting to accept the results of parenting.
Usually when you are busy, you just eat and drink Lazar. Without saying a word, he became a shopkeeper of cutting, drinking tea and lying on his mobile phone.
But suddenly I don't know when I suddenly remembered that I had a child, just like the inspection work, regardless of the overall situation:
You see, the child's teeth are broken, so he is usually told to eat less sugar ... How is the child studying recently? This stage is very important. At this time, why let him watch TV? How to grow up without sleeping?
It doesn't hurt, but there is always a word that will kill you. Taking care of the baby is very tiring. When the blood is half floating, I have to be stabbed by my pig teammates.
(2) speak sarcastically, standing and talking is easy.
The child's grades have dropped. How do you guide children?
If the child goes to cram school every day, you force him to death.
The children are in the interest class, so I don't think it's necessary to learn so much. Are you happy?
The child was criticized for doing something wrong. Why are you yelling? Can't you be reasonable?
I'm busy every day. You can't see when I have to go to the bathroom. Is it to fulfill the "right" of being a father to talk about psychological development and character cultivation in a few words now?
A child can do anything at birth. Swimming, painting, dancing, calligraphy and fencing are all brought out of the womb, so you don't have to learn them?
How many times have you used the education method of understanding with emotion and convincing people with reason, but it doesn't work. Just poke your spine in a few words?
Who can't preach! You can do it, you can do it!
(3) Drag your legs, you have to drag your legs.
Children don't like to eat green vegetables. In order to make him eat a reasonable and balanced diet, you spent a lot of time collecting practices online, and you changed your tricks to make it easier for children to accept.
But after several hours of hard work, you gave it to the child with great expectation, but he still didn't speak. It's easy to drive the duck to the shelf and force him to eat a little.
At this time, the so-called dad started online again:
The child doesn't want to eat, why do you force him? Don't be so tough, okay? You should learn to let him accept it slowly. I don't even want to eat green vegetables, let alone such a small child, balabala…… ... ...
Then he said to the child with a distressed face, "don't cry, baby, don't eat if you don't want to eat." Mom must have done badly, didn't she? Dad will buy you meat for a while ... "
4 forced implantation, nothing to brush the sense of existence.
Usually, when the child is out of breath, he hides far away and can't see or hear, but once the child is happy and lovely, this "father" will come and brush a wave of existence.
Squeeze a little face, kiss a little hand, tease a little person, and then stage a drama in which father and son are affectionate and moved by mountains and rivers. The picture is peaceful, the years are quiet, warm and loving!
But what happened? The heat often does not exceed 10 minutes!
Either make the child cry, or lose patience and turn around and continue to devote himself to his "great revolutionary cause" ...
He is the father and you are the stepmother.
The neighbor's children's toys were borrowed for a while. When they were tired of playing, Xiong Haizi threw them on the ground and broke them.
This kind of course needs education: "How did this happen? This is something that others love to lend you, but you don't cherish it so much! What will happen to you if I break your toy? "
And is playing games on the sofa's father, like a god beast, blunt come over, screamed.
If the toy is broken, just pay him another one. Is it that important? As for fighting like this? ! Go ahead, son! We ignore her!
Say that finish, they picked up the child and went to the sofa, and they got bored, leaving the old mother standing there with a blank face, completely like a stepmother!
"Deceiving corpses to raise children" will lead to the lack of fatherly love.
It is worth noting that this terrible "fraudulent corpse parenting" will not only produce the same effect as "widowed parenting", but also cause "lack of fatherly love" for children. Moreover, it is easy to cause quarrels between husband and wife and affect family harmony.
If the differences between parents' educational concepts are not resolved privately, but presented to children in the form of quarrels, children are more likely to become unruly and rebellious.
Sun Yunxiao, chief expert of family education in China Youth Research Center, believes that parents should have a natural division of labor because of their different physiological characteristics: mothers are better at intimacy with their children, and fathers are better at cultivating their children's independence.
In infancy, the mother's care and upbringing should be given priority to; However, from the beginning of children's schooling, the proportion of father's upbringing and teaching should gradually increase; In middle school, fathers should educate their children more than mothers.
However, the survey shows that many fathers are absent in areas where mothers are not dominant, such as holding parent-teacher conferences, cultivating children's behavior habits and appeasing children.
Experts say that the father's "absence" in education is not conducive to the long-term development of children, but also increases the burden on mothers.
A study in the United States shows that in the United States, more than 70% of criminals come from families without fathers. This shows the importance of fatherhood.
Sun Yunxiao pointed out that the lack of paternalism may lead to two extreme results: one is that children become weak, and the other is that children become grumpy and aggressive.
The relationship between husband and wife is the foundation of all family relationships. During his wife's pregnancy, the father should begin to have the consciousness of being a father.
"Give care and support to his wife and take care of his wife's life personally; After the child is born, he actively learns parenting knowledge and undertakes some things within his power. The change of consciousness is very important.
Being busy with work is not an excuse not to be with your children. Sun Yunxiao pointed out that the quality of companionship is more important than time.
"Some dads watch TV and play mobile phones when they go home. Sitting with children on the surface, but lacking communication. This companionship is low-level. "
Have you ever encountered fraudulent corpse parenting?
How did you handle it?
We can discuss it together! ?