But Jenny thinks there is nothing wrong with letting children entertain themselves. Can cultivate his hands-on ability and thinking ability. Her husband made a mountain out of a molehill. He caught a cold after playing with cold water for a while. So they argue endlessly about whether children should play with water.
Everyone's ideas and methods of educating children are different, and the collision of different educational ideas and methods will produce contradictions. Children's education is an important factor leading to family conflicts. Usually, we think that the older generation will have conflicts with the younger generation's parents because of their different educational concepts. I think it is better to solve the conflict of intergenerational education than to have a disagreement between husband and wife.
What should I do if I often quarrel because of inconsistent educational concepts? Adjusting marriage relationship is the key.
Because we can "deprive" them of the right to educate their children by "we are their parents" and divide the scope of "jurisdiction" of each family member over their children, which can greatly reduce the occurrence of contradictions. However, if the husband and wife have different educational ideas for their children, it will be troublesome, because the father and mother have the same educational rights for their children, and it is difficult to know who will prevail.
Three reasons for the inconsistency between husband and wife's educational concepts
In real life, many couples will quarrel because of their children's education, thus affecting the relationship between husband and wife. So, why do couples have different educational concepts? The main reasons are as follows:
Reason 1: Children's training goals are inconsistent.
My best friend Xiaoyan often quarrels with her husband about educating her children. Xiaoyan is very demanding of her children, and she wants them to be better. Her husband's request is very simple, as long as the children are happy and healthy, as for academic performance, don't care too much, as long as they have the ability in the future.
Obviously, Xiaoyan and her husband have different training goals for their children, which is one of the main reasons why many couples have conflicts in educating their children. Because of their different qualities, upbringing and life experiences, they lack the necessary communication and understanding, which will lead to inconsistent educational goals and make them go their separate ways in educating their children.
Take Xiaoyan and his wife as an example. Xiaoyan's husband is not highly educated. After graduating from technical secondary school, I joined the work and suffered a lot. Fortunately, he learned a skill. Now his job is not bad. He is already a small leader of a department, and a large number of college graduates are working for him. So he thinks learning is not important, as long as he has a skill in his hand.
Xiaoyan's life experience is completely different from her husband's. She graduated from a key university and now works in an accounting firm. Her income is comparable to her husband's. Therefore, she disagreed with her husband's view that "reading is useless and skills are more important" and felt that her husband should not pass this idea on to his children.
Reason 2: Love children in different ways.
Parents love their children, but everyone understands and loves in different ways, so they love their children in different ways, which leads to inconsistent educational attitudes.
Take Jenny's story at the beginning of the article as an example. From different angles, Jenny and her husband are both right and well-intentioned, but their investment in love is different, which leads to inconsistent educational attitudes and contradictions between husband and wife.
Reason 3: Different educational strategies.
Some couples have the same goal of raising children, but they lack scientific methods. They should be strict in management for fear that their children will be wronged. So one husband and wife sang "bad face" and the other sang "bad face".
Parents who want to study want their children to be independent as soon as possible, so they are very strict with her and train her to dress, brush her teeth and wash her face very early. One morning, she woke up for a long time and refused to dress herself in bed. Her father scolded her severely and cried for a long time.
My mother is busy in the kitchen. When she heard the crying, she came running sadly. She was very dissatisfied with her husband and said, "My child, so young, why are you so mean to her?" Can't you say something? "Say that finish, help to look at clothes. My husband left a message and slammed the door. "You have to protect children like this. I won't care about the children in the future. Take care of yourself. "
What if couples have different educational concepts?
No couple has no difference in educating their children. The difference is not terrible. The terrible thing is that they don't know how to solve it. You might as well try the following methods to help build a peaceful and unified education front.
Methods 1: Understand the childhood education of partners.
Everyone's life experience, the different education level from childhood, is one of the important reasons for the different education level of husband and wife. Understanding the lover's childhood education, analyzing the rationality and irrationality of its education methods, and avoiding the repetition of parents' discipline methods are conducive to enhancing the relationship between husband and wife and unifying the education methods.
Method 2: Calm down, stand on the other side's point of view and communicate well.
No matter what kind of education methods parents adopt, the purpose is for the good of their children, but some methods may not be scientific enough.
When you and your partner have differences in education, don't rush to blame each other, listen to each other's explanations, ask yourself why you don't agree with each other's education methods, and tell each other your concerns.
In addition, you should let the other person know how you discipline your children and ask him why he doesn't agree with his point of view and what doubts he has.
In fact, many contradictions are caused by the lack of mutual understanding and communication. With good communication, you will find that many problems are not so difficult to solve.
Method 3: Weigh the pros and cons and formulate a set of educational methods that are satisfactory to both sides.
Sit down, honestly put the educational methods of both husband and wife on the table, discuss them well, find out the educational methods that are beneficial to children, eliminate the educational methods that are unfavorable to children, formulate a set of educational methods that are satisfactory to both husband and wife, and conscientiously implement them.
Method 4: Appropriate compromise
If you and the other party's education methods are inconsistent, but it is not a matter of principle, you can make appropriate concessions. There is no need to follow your own methods, especially in front of children, let alone criticize each other's educational methods. Only when husband and wife stand in the same position can children be educated. Otherwise, children will tend to be partial to themselves.
Method 5: Children participate in making rules appropriately.
If your child has read it, write down the rules and stick them on the wall, so that the child can abide by the rules and let the child know that the parents are United. Because children are the executors of rules, when making rules, we should fully consider children's feelings, let children participate in the formulation of rules appropriately, and adjust the rules as children grow up.
Every family must face the problem of children's education, which is also the lifelong task of parents. Escape is not the way. Only by facing bravely, uniting husband and wife and eliminating contradictions and differences can we educate excellent children in a warm family atmosphere!