Happiness is not the only goal of education. A person should gain independence in ability and character through education. Only in this way can they control their own destiny. This is also the enlightenment brought by children's development in childhood.
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When adults give up the suppression of children and try to study and understand the external manifestations of children's spiritual world, they can clearly realize that children's inner world is far richer and more mature than adults think.
If children don't have the ability of self-control, the freedom they get is not real freedom; If children do things irregularly, it is because someone forces them to do things regularly at will; If children are lazy, it is because they are forced to work; If children are disobedient, it is because they are forced to obey.
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In a place that truly belongs to children, children will try their best to behave well, pay attention to their manners and control their behavior. In this case, children can constantly improve themselves without external incentives. We can see brand-new joy and pride in children's faces, and occasionally we can see an indescribable appropriateness, which shows that children are born to improve their behavior, and they like it.
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In the old education and some well-known education methods, children are not regarded as real people. In the first few years of their lives, children are often forced to adapt to adult society, thus completely deviating from their nature. In these forms of education, children are only a "future type" rather than a "continuous type".
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Spontaneity, which originates from children's magical inner world, has long been suppressed by the strong and untimely intervention of adults. Adults think that they can do everything better than children, and naturally impose their own behavior patterns on children, forcing them to give up their wishes and actions, obey their own will, and obey their own control.
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Here are some principles for creating an environment for children:
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A child has something that can control his inner life: this is his ability to develop himself. It is this ability that leads him to get in touch with something and get familiar with it. We said to him, "Don't touch it." He ran around to keep himself steady, but we shouted, "Don't run." He asked us questions in order to gain knowledge, and we replied, "Don't bother."
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If we observe children, we will find that they always want to expand their independent scope, always want to act according to their own wishes, always want to take things by themselves, and always want to dress and undress by themselves. None of this is what we ask our children to do. Their wishes are so strong that we often instinctively want to stop them. But you know, what we stop is not the behavior of children, but the laws of nature. Children's behavior is guided by natural laws, and children are following natural laws.
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The person closest to the child-mother or teacher-becomes the person who is most likely to cause harm to the child in the process of forming the child's personality.
It is adults who make children confused and rebellious and do nothing; It is adults who deprive children of their exuberant energy and suppress their unique personality. Adults are eager to correct their children's mistakes, make up for their psychological deficiencies and improve their character defects, but they don't know that these problems of children are caused by adults.
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Mother must return to nature. Motherly love is also a great natural force, so scientists should attach importance to it and devote themselves to this kind of research to help mothers regain their long-lost instinct. We should educate mothers to learn this knowledge, so that they can give their children spiritual protection from birth, instead of giving it to trained nurses. Although that kind of care is very sanitary, it only meets the child's physiological needs on the surface. In fact, under this kind of care, children are likely to die because of mental depression or lack of soul.
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After providing children with all the conditions they need, what we have to do is to control our impulse to help them blindly, keep a certain distance from them, don't always interfere with them, and of course we can't be indifferent. When children focus on what they think is important, they will be quiet and enjoy their own happiness. At this time, we don't need to do anything, just stand by the children and observe silently.
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Children's fears, like lying, are also caused by forced obedience. This kind of emotion is far more harmful to children than other emotional reactions, because it will confuse children's imagination and feelings. This kind of emotional confusion often happens to children who lack internal development opportunities.