Sharing is a good way to output. Just simply share it with my husband. He nodded while listening, probably because books or other people's opinions are more acceptable.
Yin Jianli also has a book, a good mother is better than a good teacher, you should be familiar with it. The educational concept of "heart without trace" in the book has influenced many people, including me.
The most beautiful education = the simplest.
Foreword? The most beautiful gift in life
What is the most reliable gift we can give our children to ensure their happiness and health all their lives? From an educational point of view, these things are the most important.
Reading can not only shape children's intelligence, but also shape their psychological quality.
Freedom gives children "three rights": the right to choose, the right to try and the right to make mistakes. Because a person is a free person first, he can become a conscious person.
A good example is the way you get along with your children, which is the most direct and effective teaching material. Everything you can teach your children is written in it.
Educator Dewey said: "The highest purpose of all education is to form character." In everyone's life growth, there is no more important teacher than parents.
Different stages of reading experience;
The first time I recognized the author's point of view, I admire it.
The second time, I understood the educational principle behind the story and had a good method.
The third time, I found that the principles behind many different stories are actually the same and interlinked, and I have the ability to achieve mastery.
The reading basis is different and varies from person to person.
First, defend the innocent childhood.
Looking at it from another angle, destruction is creation, but imagination is not cultivated, and unlimited itself is cultivated. In cultivating children's imagination, "less is more" is a golden rule. Because only in a free soul can we have real thinking, imagination and creativity.
Rules, in children's education, "there are too many rules to form a square." Education is not a simple norm and supervision. In fact, "indulgence" is also a kind of education, which is negative in form and positive in meaning. Graffiti walls for children, "conniving", children may damage things, may create more housework, and may even be slightly injured, which has embarked on the track of education.
Regarding competition, "if you don't compete when you are young, you will win when you grow up."
Childhood is a very unique age group and has its own unique task, that is, the evolution from "small animals" to "people", that is, the transition from "natural people" to "social people". The task of childhood is not to extend outward, but to accumulate inward. Only when a person has strong internal strength can he control himself well, and it is possible to handle his relationship with the world well in the future and gain the initiative in life. This is the normal order and logic of cultivating competitiveness.
Pushing children into the torrent of competition prematurely will not only weaken their inner strength, but also do the following harm.
Destroy children's ability to cooperate. Neil, a British educator, said, "All prizes, grades and exams will hinder the development of normal personality." Social psychology research also confirms that competition is one of the important sources of frustration, and pain and frustration often cause hostility.
Dewey, an educator, suggested that the primary responsibility of a school should be to provide a simplified environment for children, so as to eliminate the influence of ugly phenomena in the social environment on children. At present, the reality is that schools often carry out various appraisals in a fancy way, regardless of the rationality of these appraisal designs. For example, there is a primary school that evaluates children three times in the morning, middle and evening. The evaluation level is divided into five levels, from "the most lovely person" to "the least lovely person". Think of a child, he is likely to change from the "least lovable person" in the morning to the "most lovable person" in the evening, and often changes back and forth between various grades. The child is still the child, but the evaluation will lift him to the sky for a while and demote him to the ground for a while. With such an evaluation, can the child's heart not be chaotic? Can his morality not be damaged? Some children learn to perform, some children confuse their self-awareness, and some children become indifferent ... If children have no chance to develop honesty, friendliness and tolerance in childhood, how can they be expected to cooperate in adulthood? Without the ability to cooperate, how competitive is it?
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Don't complain about the big environment, solve the problems of the small environment first. The small environment is good, and the big environment is naturally good. To alleviate the pressure of competition, the system is of course on the one hand, and on the other hand, it must be solved by consciousness. Adults themselves should reflect on the scale and significance of competition. Only when adults are weak can children be calm.
"The husband does not argue, so he can't argue with it."
Keep the "three noes" in the relationship between children and their peers: don't be angry, don't get involved, and don't be afraid of losing money.
It seems negative, but its significance is very positive. Its main function is to avoid the destructive participation of adults, and it contains a belief that children have the ability to solve their own problems.
This has been fully verified in my family. The two children often quarrel about something. At this time, the lover is always very angry, not only complaining but also participating in the interruption. As a result, the problem of crying has not been solved. After communicating with my lover, I tried to let them solve the problem in their own way, but it didn't take long. The two children will not only get back together, but also play and do things happily together, and the atmosphere will soon become friendly.
Fromm said, "Freedom is the most important of all love relationships."
Second, the concept of purification.
Strict education is dangerous education, not harmful.
Growth needs no punishment, only encouragement.
Respecting children's natural laws is also the most effective educational law.
Concentration is a false problem. The more you repair, the more distracted you are. The best way is to "not disturb".
It is foolish to reform children.
Parents should accept the imperfections and differences of their children, guard against arrogance and rashness, and impose martial law. The way of connivance is ideal.
Third, return to nature.
Enlightenment education is divided into intellectual enlightenment and emotional enlightenment. The first key to intellectual enlightenment is language input, with emphasis on recitation and reading. Children can recite poems earlier, starting from a few months. The key to emotional enlightenment is to have more contact with children. Parenting from generation to generation actually separates life ties. Love is being together.
For boarding, boarding is not recommended before college. According to the specific situation of children, it is best not to board in high school.
The most important condition for choosing a kindergarten is the teacher.
To cultivate children's awareness of rules, we should pay attention to three points:
First, in the experience, we must use "questions" to inspire children to think for themselves, rather than "talking" to explain and instill.
Second, let children experience the benefits of "obedience" through the game of "role replacement".
Third, avoid intimidation when instilling a sense of rules in children.
Fourth, win in the details.
Paying attention to the subtext education behind language is not simply a matter of informing and being told, because the brain has the ability to process and process information. Children are more sensitive to subtext than adults because their consciousness is not infected by secular society and their processing system is not disturbed too much, so they can keenly capture the subtext in adults' more sensitive words. Therefore, if parents always care about what they say and don't consider what information their children are dealing with, this actually reflects the immaturity of adults in front of their children.
For example, "a good boy eats by himself and doesn't need to be fed by others." Let mom and dad see if you are a good boy! " In fact, you often let your parents feed you, so you are not a good boy.
Fifth, improve parents themselves.
No temper will lead to education.
The essence of temper is hatred, which is inversely proportional to thinking ability. The deeper the hatred, the shallower the thinking power.
The source of bad temper is either someone who loves to lose his temper when he was a child, or he feels wronged inside. Montessori said: "Every character defect is caused by childhood misfortune."
Many parents always like to lose their temper when they get along with their children. They are used to blaming their children for disobedience every time they lose their temper, or their behavior is too outrageous. They think they must lose their temper because they want to educate their children. In fact, temper has no educational function, but is anti-educational. The bigger the temper, the worse the educational effect. Bad temper is not only like a hammer, but also destroys the present and even causes unnecessary life tragedies. It is more like a diffuse toxic gas, causing far-reaching and extensive damage.
What are the consequences of a bad temper? We can roughly describe it as follows: children with minor consequences, rebellious, depressed and suspicious; Moderate consequences, the child has a bad temper as an adult, loves to complain or bicker, and is harsh; Serious consequences, severe depression, sexual perversion, neurotic personality. Parents who lose their temper for three points will cause seven points of harm to their children. It is no exaggeration to say that bad temper is the deadly enemy of education and the trap of life.
"I am a bodhi tree, and my heart is like a mirror. I always wipe it often to avoid dust. " -the realm of self-encouragement
"Bodhi has no trees, and the mirror is not Taiwan. There is nothing in the original, where is the dust? " -Beyond the realm
The promotion of the realm is not easy in one step, it needs a little practice. When we can be open-minded and tolerant of one person and one thing, we have unconsciously begun to have feelings of no regrets about the world. A chest without temper can be filled with the positive energy of education.
Motherly love is a process of gradual separation. Strong maternal love is not a permanent possession of children, but a decent exit. The primary task of maternal love is to be intimate with children and care about their growth; The second task is to separate from children and promote their independence.
Be an "unreasonable" parent, because nagging is a knife and harmful to children. Reasoning is much more important than reasoning.
"Your Children" Ji Bolun
Your children don't belong to you.
They are the longing of life.
It is life's own child.
Spend my life with you
But it has its own independent trajectory.
Give them love, not your will.
Children have their own opinions.
Give him a home to live in.
Don't let him close the door.
Their souls belong to the world of tomorrow.
You can't break in? Dream search will also be rejected.
Make yourself look like a child.
Don't let your child be your copy.
Yesterday has passed.
Life rushes forward.
There's no turning back.
You are the bow of life, and children are the arrows of life.
Bend down happily and humbly.
Shoot a child like an arrow into the distance.
For the infinite future.
Love is a child's flight.
It's your strong and steady posture
I recommend this book. Today, I only read this book, drew two guide maps and wrote reading notes, but I gained a lot. The most important thing is to learn to reflect on yourself and be a good-tempered mother.
Just like when I was reading and writing notes, the child didn't respond at first. As time went on, my children became curious. They often come to me when I'm writing, and ask me if I can show them when I'm finished. I often find children sitting there reading books. I deliberately put the books on the sofa, hoping that they will see them and feel secretly happy. You don't need to say it, but you need to do it. Sometimes I can't control myself and don't do well enough. I will continue to work hard in the future.