* Mom is annoyed: 4-year-old son actually began to "lie"
My son is almost 4 years old. Recently. Suddenly found out that he would lie. He insisted that he didn't watch TV just now. Watching him accidentally break the toy, I asked him but said he didn't do it. Baby, why did you lie? What should I do about his behavior?
Expert interpretation: 2-6-year-old baby "lying" is the best cold treatment.
For babies aged 2-6, most of the time, they don't understand that they are lying, because within their cognitive range, they don't know the difference between "truth" and "false", "right" and "wrong". In their world, things that can make them comfortable and happy are "right", and things that can avoid parents' anger and blame are "good". Most of their lying behaviors are still in the imagination stage. At this stage, parents only need to pay attention to the frequency and content of the baby's lies, and must not beat and scold the baby, but patiently share the world he said with the baby. At the same time, natural transition can also be ignored.
* Why do babies lie?
"angel syndrome"
If the baby realizes that his parents think he can't do anything wrong, he will start thinking, "My parents love me because I am great. A good baby wouldn't spill milk like that. What milk? I didn't see any milk spilled! "
Rich imagination
His creativity is fully developed, so that sometimes he may think what he believes is true. Why can't there be talking fish in the bathtub? Or is there a princess under the bed?
neglected
How can an energetic two-year-old baby remember who played Teletubbies first? All he knows is that he wants it back now. When you criticize the baby because of the brush strokes on the wall, and he says he didn't do it, it doesn't mean that he is lying. He just forgot that he did it-or he hoped that he didn't do it so strongly that he believed that he didn't do it.
Fear of punishment
2-3-year-old babies already have some basic right and wrong judgments. When they find that they have done something wrong, they will instinctively fear the punishment that will follow. In particular, I have had the experience of being reprimanded and punished for doing something wrong. So in order to escape punishment, they will make up lies to cover up their mistakes.
Parents expect too much.
Some parents are very demanding of their babies. If the baby behaves well, they will be happy and meet all the requirements of the baby. If the baby doesn't meet expectations, they will reprimand the baby. In the long run, babies will lie to please their parents. If parents don't understand the situation and let the baby lie successfully, it will strengthen the baby's lying behavior.
negative impact
Children's imitation ability is very strong, and a casual lie of adults in social interaction may be imitated by the baby. If parents often tell small lies in front of their baby, the baby will lie in similar situations in the future. On the other hand, what parents sometimes say inadvertently cannot be fulfilled for various reasons. For example, some parents promise to take their baby to the park on Sunday, but because of emergency or special circumstances, the baby will think that adults are lying, and he can lie in the future.
* What should you do in the face of a lying baby?
Although there is no need to punish him, you can skillfully teach him to tell the truth naturally in a way that he can understand at his age.
Don't "label" your baby at will
Babies' lies are often not meant to hurt others. Parents should not easily equate the baby's lying behavior with the baby's quality, and should not label the baby as a "little liar", "liar expert" or "braggart" just because of a baby's lies. This will not only help the baby get rid of the problem of lying, but also strengthen the baby's lying behavior, which may prompt the baby to lie harder in the future.
Help your baby distinguish between reality and imagination.
Babies' lies are not always intentional, especially young, imaginative and creative babies are more likely to lie imaginatively. Parents should pay attention to telling the baby what is happening in daily life and what is imagined, so that the baby can gradually distinguish between reality and imagination.
Verify that the baby is lying.
When parents suspect that the baby is lying, they should first conduct careful investigation and understanding to find out whether the baby is really lying, because sometimes the parents' judgment is not necessarily correct. If they act rashly without knowing the truth, it may have a bad influence on the baby's mind and even cause tension between parents and children.
Find out why the baby lied.
When the baby lies in the expected negative consequences, parents should understand the baby's needs and formulate more practical rules; If the baby can do it and is willing to do it, he naturally doesn't have to lie. In addition, some babies will lie to attract their parents' attention because they have little contact with their parents. In other words, parents should strengthen communication and interaction with their babies on weekdays, learn more about their ideas, and let them feel their parents' care and attention.
Encourage the baby to tell the truth
Instead of worrying about the baby's misconduct, thank him for telling you everything, and he will probably feel that his honesty has been recognized. If you yell at him about it, he will feel that he should not tell the truth.
Treat the baby with a normal heart
Parents should not blindly compare their babies with other people's babies and make too high demands on them, which will not only lead to the baby lying, but also make the baby lose self-confidence. Parents should teach according to the baby's actual situation, interests and characteristics. As long as the baby makes progress every day and can give play to his own advantages and specialties, parents should be happy and proud of it.
Don't put too much pressure on the baby.
Parents should keep calm when the baby is found lying. Simple education methods such as beating and cursing blindly can only push the baby to the opposite side of the wish. Many babies lie when they find that they have done something wrong and are afraid of being scolded by their parents. If parents keep beating and cursing, it will be counterproductive. We should analyze the cause and effect, find it in time, correct it in time, and don't tell the bigger lies. Be persuasive, point out the harm of lying to your baby, let your baby know the mistake in guilt and correct it in encouragement.
In addition, parents should also master the psychology of some children to distinguish whether the baby's words are naive imagination or deliberate lying. There is a qualitative difference between the two, and we should also distinguish them.
Give encouragement in due course.
I can tell my baby that even if he made a mistake this time, my mother is glad that he has the courage to admit it, and I believe he won't make the same mistake again. You can also share your childhood experiences with him, so that the baby can know that this is not the worst case. In addition, when the baby is willing to admit his mistake, he should be encouraged in time to let him continue to develop in the direction of positive behavior.
Build mutual trust
Let the baby know that you trust him and he can trust you. Nothing is more important to you than honesty. Mom and dad should be role models for babies. With this goal, you should try to avoid half-truths yourself. For example, if your baby needs to be vaccinated, don't tell him that it won't hurt (he will know it immediately). Try to keep your promise and apologize to him when you can't. The most important thing is to praise the baby as soon as he tells the truth. If he admits that he ate cookies, you should control yourself from criticizing him, but thank him for his frankness. Positive emphasis on correct behavior will produce surprising results.
Parents should set a good example.
Parents should set an example and set a good example in daily life while asking their babies to be honest. Don't inadvertently make promises that you can't make in front of your baby, or deceive people. Pay attention to honesty and trustworthiness in daily life and work. Commitments to your baby or others should be earnestly fulfilled, and mistakes should be admitted in time and corrected seriously, so that your baby can learn good behavior from them.
* What misunderstandings should children avoid when they "lie"
Educate the baby by beating and cursing.
Some parents don't understand the psychological characteristics of babies of this age. When they find that babies are lying, they will educate them by scolding them, and some even use force to deter them. I think if the baby doesn't lie, it will get worse in the future. But experts believe that this is only the most primitive practice. On the contrary, in order to avoid the abuse of parents, babies will increase the frequency of lying and develop into habitual lying.
Parents lie in front of the baby.
Mom and dad are the earliest teachers of the baby, and their words and deeds affect the baby's growth. Therefore, parents should first be sincere to people and things and set a good example for their babies. Many studies show that babies who often lie often come from families where their parents often lie. Even if the parents tell a "white lie", the baby can't tell the nature of the lie in detail. So remind parents to avoid even white lies in front of their babies.
Judge the baby by lying or not.
Don't judge a baby by whether he is lying or not. Don't underestimate little lies. Analyze them carefully. If you can't really understand the reasons behind the baby's lying, you won't know what the problem is.