1 It's no use saying that children always procrastinate and refuse to sleep;
Come on, come on, it's late. Stop playing and go to bed. (nagging imperative is the most ineffective)
We can say this:
In 10 minutes, we will go to bed. Give the facts, set aside a certain amount of time, and let the children be psychologically prepared and feel respected.
You can also:
/kloc-it's time to go to bed in 0/0 minutes. Shall we wash up first or tell a story first? (The way to urge is to provide choices)
The baby thought this at the time:
I am not sleepy at all. I don't want to sleep. I want to play a little longer and do something interesting. I still don't understand the concept of time. But my mother told me bedtime, told me to abide by it, and gave me respect at the same time. I can also choose what I like to do. I will try my best to have a good sleep.
The children are eating and playing.
Useless statement:
Stop playing. Eat like you eat. Sit down and eat. (nagging again)
We can say this:
Baby, you must sit at the table when you eat. Let's play with toys after supper. Let me see, you can eat well and have a good time. The rules should not be changed. You should tell them clearly and then give them encouragement. )
If you still refuse, tell the child, "Then let's eat. Come and eat when you're done! But when we are finished, we will take it away!
The baby thought this at the time:
In fact, I didn't distinguish between eating and playing, but now I understand; Or I'm not hungry, and I really don't want to eat; I'm having fun, and you want to interrupt me again. I just don't want to do what you say, but you've all eaten, and I'm bored playing alone. Let's have dinner with you. Please remember, if he comes, don't be stingy with your praise! )
The child watches TV for a long time and refuses to turn it off.
Useless statement:
You've been watching it for a long time. Why are you still watching? You must turn it off. Then "pa" directly shut down. (command, blame, people can't accept it)
We can say this:
It's about time. Oh, we'll turn off the TV in ten minutes! (advance notice)
Or:
Time is up. Will you turn it off or shall I? (Give a choice)
The baby thought this at the time:
Mom and dad, the TV is great. I'm watching it eagerly, and I don't want to turn it off yet. But you reminded me. Ok, I see. Will you turn it off or shall I? Of course I know. I don't want to be controlled by you!
Children love to lose their temper.
Useless statement:
Why did you lose your temper? Losing your temper is not a good boy. If you lose your temper again, I will ignore you. (impatient, threatening)
We can say this:
I think you are very unhappy. You can talk to your mother slowly or think about what you can do to be happy. When a child can't express himself well, he can divert his attention and find something he might be interested in. )
The baby thought this at the time:
I am very unhappy, but I don't know how to express it correctly. I've seen people lose their temper and think it's okay to vent like this. It really makes me feel better that you can understand me.
Children cry when they are not satisfied.
Useless statement:
Don't cry, don't cry, cry again, don't cry. (impatient, ordered)
We can say this:
I'll wait for you to cry, and then we'll discuss what to do together. What do you want to say to me? (Wait for the child to answer you) Do you want to go out and play for a while? Or do you want another biscuit? Or? (Children will tell you)
The baby thought this at the time:
Crying is an effective weapon. I cried before, and you agreed to my request, so I cried this time. Well, sometimes I really don't know how to express my demands, except crying. I know everything you said, so I don't have to cry anymore.
Children must buy unwanted or inappropriate things.
Useless statement:
How do you buy everything you see? There are already many at home, so I won't buy them for you today. (blame)
We can say this:
I can't buy it for you. Please remember this truth: none of us can buy whatever we want. (gentle and firm)
The baby thought this at the time:
Growing up, you bought me books, toys and many things. I didn't say to buy it. You all bought it for me. Since I want it, you should buy it for me. When you say this, I understand that you don't have everything you want, so I understand.
Children always hit others.
Useless statement:
The baby can't hit others, which is wrong, understand? (preaching)
We can say this:
Baby, if someone hits you, will it hurt you? Do you want others to hit you? If you don't want others to hit you, you can't hit others. Let's think about it. What can I do without hitting people? (Let the child feel and explain the truth with empathy, and let him think and digest by himself)
The baby thought this at the time:
I am anxious to hit someone; I want to attract attention. I hit people. I also saw other children hitting people. I learned, and I think it's ok. You say this, oh, I see, I don't want to be beaten by others, so I won't beat others in the future.
Eight children were beaten by others.
Useless statement:
Ah, let me see. Who hit you? Does it hurt? Next time, you must hit them back. (Contradictions and rudeness are increasing)
We can say this:
Can you talk to mom? Why did they hit you? (Listen to the child) Then you can say that mom knows you are sad, but you are great, which means you trust me and told me. Next time, stop him with your hand, protect yourself and say, "You can't hit me". Besides, you should remember that you don't fight back because you are afraid of him. (Listen, guide and provide effective solutions)
The baby thought this at the time:
Mom and dad, I was beaten by others, and I felt a little sad. I don't know what to do. Now I know.
I especially want to say that sometimes children are beaten, and we parents feel very distressed, and then desperately ask him how he is. But in fact, it is very likely that the child is not so injured at all and can resist by himself. And we are so nervous that he feels uncomfortable and flustered. It is also an important lesson for children to learn to deal with themselves. What we want to teach them is how to protect themselves, not unnecessary nervousness.