I was deeply moved.
Specially arranged words to share with you:
In the video, the family sits around the dining table and the mother reaches for the shrimp. At this time, the child was anxious to shout: It's almost gone, I don't want to eat, do I still want to eat? These are all mine. "
The mother on the side insisted, "How can you be so selfish? Why can't I eat these dishes? Everyone can eat it. It is very wrong of you to be so selfish. If you do this, no one wants to eat with you when you go out to eat, and no one wants to play with you when you get to school. You won't make friends when you grow up, and no one wants to play with you. It is because of your selfish behavior. "
The children on the side are not to be outdone: "Selfishness is selfishness."
Qiangma continued to preach: you can't do this, you have to know how to share with others.
The child continued to refute: I don't want to share.
At this time, the child handed the leftover shrimp in the bowl to his mother and said that he would not eat it.
Mother said sternly: if you don't eat, come and give it to us. If you eat the rest, give it to us. Why don't you eat it yourself? You are selfish.
Then, there are thousands of likes in the comment area:
It is said that mother received a good education.
Some commentators said, "children are old at the age of three, but now they don't teach." You will cry when they grow up. Well done, mom! This is a perfect education. "
Others are crazy and rhythmic, saying that parents love their children has far-reaching significance.
To be honest, I didn't see the far-reaching plan, I only saw the far-reaching harm. Why do you say that?
Let's analyze it together, and maybe it will attract many parents.
1, every word of the mother makes sense, criticizing the child for doing something wrong. But why doesn't it work for children?
Because she aroused the children's antagonism.
So what is the child playing?
Is it mom? No, the child is resisting the label his mother put on him.
Mom gave four comments like firecrackers:
1, you are selfish.
2. You are not sensible.
No one likes you.
Nobody wants to make friends with you when you grow up.
You see, these are the labels that mothers put on their children. That's how children fight.
These words must be familiar to everyone and must be said to children often.
Because once these labels are accepted by children, it is particularly easy to form hopeless thinking.
What is hopeless thinking?
The so-called hopeless thinking is that when a person feels: I can't, I'm not good, I'm not important, he will feel hopeless easily.
There are usually three situations:
The first type: I am not good enough, and my mother evaluates my child as selfish and unreasonable. The message to children is that children think they are not good enough.
Other parents like to say that when they cry, they know how to cry, and when something happens, they know how to cry. If someone hits you, you hit him. This is also particularly easy for children to think that it is my fault.
Number two: I'm not important. Nobody likes me.
In the video, mom said, "If you go on like this, the teacher won't like you at school. No one outside likes you. "
In this way, in the long run, children will have social fears and passive interpersonal communication.
Other parents especially like to say to their children, "If you are an elder brother, you should let your younger brother go. If you don't play with these toys, just give them to him. "
This will make children feel unimportant and not taken seriously. He will feel that "my feelings are not important, my needs are not important."
Number three: no.
You will have no friends when you grow up like this. Nobody likes to play with you if you are selfish.
Children will deeply believe in one thing, that is, "I can't." Some parents like to say, what's so hard about this? Just pretend.
When parents are so capable, it is easy for children to feel frustrated, and children will feel: "I can't do it, only you can."
This kind of criticism from parents is particularly easy to cause children's hopeless thinking.
So how to break the hopeless thinking?
It's simple, two steps.
1, do not criticize when problems are found.
2, using potential development to ask syntax: For example, you ask your child: Baby, what is it? He said the shrimp was almost finished.
The first sentence of the potential development question: Baby, if there are only two shrimps on the plate, how do you want to divide them? He said: Give it to me.
The second sentence: You ask him: What other points do you have?
The child will say: Then ask who else wants to share.
The third sentence: you ask him: what are the points besides these?
The child will say: no.
Then you ask him the fourth sentence: if there is, how do you divide it?
The child thinks: You can also divide him into four parts, and everyone can eat it.
If you often use your potential to develop syntax instead of judging children, children's brains will be bright. Life will be full of hope. This breaks the hopeless thinking.
A good boy is not reprimanded by reason, but by love.
Encourage each other!