As adults, we have experienced the influence of personality on work and life countless times, but when we are parents, we have to focus on the cultivation of children's specialties and intelligence, thus ignoring the cultivation of children's personality.
Bai said: "Parents should be careful of your thoughts, words and actions, because these will become the child's character and his fate."
High flyers's parents, Qian Guisheng and his wife, sent their daughter to Peking University, and two years later their son was also sent to Tsinghua. Talking about their education methods, Qian Dad thinks that before the age of 6, children's character, behavior and habits are very important, so they pay special attention to the character cultivation at this age, and have formulated a series of family rules, which are firmly implemented from the very early age.
Among these family rules of Qian's father, the following three made me feel the deepest and gain the most:
When their children were very young, Qian Guisheng and his wife intentionally instilled in them the concept that "what they earn is what they earn".
In their family, if the children do positive behaviors that are worth encouraging, the father will give them extra points through small red flowers and other means. If you save enough points, you can exchange them for coupons and then exchange them for snacks or toys you want.
In the long run, children understand that nothing in this world is obtained for nothing, and what they want must be obtained through their own efforts. Therefore, the two children have been self-reliant since childhood and studied very hard.
Qian Guisheng and his wife never oppress or control their children with their parents' authority. They advocate equality for all, serve others with virtue, and are willing to provide their children with the right to choose.
When children are very young, they will arrange family meetings regularly to let them participate in family decision-making. In this way, both children are very independent and have a strong sense of family responsibility.
When a child makes a request, he will not directly refuse, but will encourage the child to give reasons. If the reason is reasonable, they will try their best to satisfy. Therefore, his children knew from an early age that it was useless to play tricks on others, and they should try to win through communication.
Under such training, both children have grown into talents with high emotional intelligence and communication skills.
People who have no sense of purpose often fish for three days and dry their nets for two days, so they can't control themselves in life and have no continuous internal strength.
The great writer Tolstoy said: We should have a goal in life, a goal in life, a goal in a period, a goal in a stage, a goal in a year, a goal in a month, a goal in a week, a goal in a day, an goal in an hour and a goal in a minute.
Dad Qian pays great attention to cultivating children's sense of purpose. When children were very young, he guided them to set a small goal for themselves after getting up every day.
At first, the goal was simple, such as learning a children's song or finishing a handicraft today. When children grow up, he will encourage them to set weekly goals, monthly goals and even annual goals and sort out a detailed plan.
Over time, children naturally develop the habit of setting goals and making plans, which has been maintained until now, so that they can benefit endlessly in their studies and eventually become super schoolmasters.
In the documentary "The Truth of Personality", scientists come to the conclusion through verification: "Genetic factors only determine 40%~50% of personality, and other determinants of personality come from the environment." In other words, a child's acquired character is shaped by his parents.
Professor Li Meijin also said: "Some children steal money from their parents when they reach puberty, don't fall in love with school, and run away from home ... but in fact, this kind of behavior is already a sign when children are 6 years old or even younger. In order to cultivate children to form good character and character, the most important time period is before the age of 6. "
It can be said that if you don't want your child to fly around in adolescence, you must pay attention to character cultivation before you are 6 years old.
At this important stage of personality development, how to guide children to control their emotions, how to shape their self-care ability, how to deal with children's fear of difficulties, how to let children learn to think independently, how to improve their resilience, and how to improve their awareness of rules are all big issues that our parents should pay attention to.
Wang Xiaoqian, a former CCTV host, combined his study experience in the Institute of Psychology of Chinese Academy of Sciences and years of practice in the field of education, polished this book "Mom Know What to Do" and gave a set of personality training programs for children.
For example:
How to communicate effectively with children;
How to improve children's concentration;
How to shape children's self-care ability;
How to prevent children from indulging in mobile phones;
How to deal with children's fear of difficulties;
How to make children interested in learning and so on.
There is a lot of theoretical support from psychology and brain science in the book, but it reads smoothly. It gives all practical methods and concrete cases to help understand, which is suitable for every parent with parenting problems.
The book in my hand is very old. Whenever I encounter any parenting problems, I will habitually flip through this book and always get the answers from it.
The original price of this book is 69 yuan, so I applied for a special price for everyone. Now you can buy it for only 45.9 yuan. It is cost-effective to educate parents and children about sunshine, self-esteem and self-discipline with confidence and methods, and only need 2 cups of milk tea.
Mom and dad might as well keep one at home, and they can look through it at any time when they encounter parenting problems, and maybe they can find a solution soon.
Click the link below to place an order.