-Action and response in education

Introduction:

Chen Xiao is a clever boy with a flexible mind and active thinking, and his appearance is very pleasing. Although I have just entered the first grade of school, my acceptance and learning ability are particularly strong, and my academic performance is always among the best in my class, even in my grade. According to the truth, teachers should like such a smart and lively child very much, and classmates are willing to be friends with him, but the fact is just the opposite. The teacher at school shook his head as soon as he saw him. As soon as the students see him, they hide at once, as if a mouse were afraid of a cat. It turns out that Chen Xiao has a bad habit, likes to bully other students, and often sees his classmates being beaten by him, so his classmates are very afraid of him. In addition, Chen Xiao has ADHD. No matter in class or other activities, he can't calm himself down all the time, which leads to the teacher often stopping for him and unable to attend classes normally. The teaching progress could not be completed, and his special behavior also affected the listening and learning of other students in the class, which also made the teacher very big.

In this case, the child's performance really worries us. Such a small child behaves like this. What will he be when he grows up? The consequences are unimaginable. So, what went wrong and made the child like this?

I. Basic information of the case:

Chen Xiao, male, Han nationality, date of birth: 2000.438+00.2.

Two. Case background

My father is a long-distance passenger driver and has been working outside for a long time, leaving only my mother and him at home. His mother is responsible for taking care of his life and giving him guidance and supervision in his studies. My mother only has a junior high school education, has no job, and her family income is average. Because his father is seldom at home, Chen Xiao seldom communicates with his father. He has no idea what his father really is. Chen Xiao's father's education level is also very low. Usually, whenever Chen Xiao made a mistake or was dissatisfied, he would educate his children in a rude way and beat them to solve the problem. Parents often have conflicts over the education of their children. It can be said that Chen Xiao lives in an unstable and harmonious family environment.

Three. case analysis

In fact, children have such problems, mostly from imitating their father's behavior. The behavior of parents in the family environment is the main object of children's imitation. Parents have the habit of loving hands-on, and children soon show such behavioral characteristics. We often unconsciously pass on some bad things to lovely children. If you want your children to be healthy, you must always pay attention to your words and deeds. This is a hint on the one hand.

Careful analysis of the case also shows that when the child shows a wrong tendency, parents do not look for the cause of the child's problem, but beat the child up to solve the problem, which is ineffective. The reason is that the father didn't convince the child. When solving problems by violence, the dissatisfaction caused by violence will be stored. It is like a scourge, and we must find a way to vent it. If you can't get the correct guidance in time, it will cause the distortion of the child's mind and eventually lead to excessive behavior. Just like the classical mechanics principles we learn in physics, how much force you use will produce how much reaction. "You hit me, I hit the cat" is a typical subconscious reaction mentality of children. What should I do? I remembered the story of Dayu's flood control. According to legend, Yu's father Kun spent nine years controlling water, but failed to control the flood. Because he had water to cover up, he built dikes and dams and adopted the method of "blocking". As a result, the dam was washed away by the flood, which made it worse. On the other hand, Dayu summed up his experience and adopted the methods of dredging, opening canals to drain water and dredging rivers, so that this extraordinary flood was "designated as nine rivers beyond four seas", which led the flood into the sea and was finally conquered. When children are prone to mistakes, it is important to find the root of the problem and give them "guidance" and correct guidance from the source. Just like Dayu's water control, let the children accept our guidance and correct their mistakes wholeheartedly.

Four. Case guidance 1. Be a "lawyer" instead of a "judge"

Some parents can't wait to become "judges" when they see that their children have problems, which is very dangerous. Children's inner world is rich and colorful, and parents should actively influence and educate their children. Without understanding their inner world, there is no way to talk about it. The first key to understanding children is to care about their self-esteem, safeguard their rights and become their trusted and respected friends. That is, parents should treat their children like "lawyers", understand their inner needs, and always take safeguarding their legitimate rights and interests as their sole purpose.

2, improper "referee", learn to be a "cheerleader"

In the arena of life, children can only work hard on their own. Parents can neither replace their children, nor should they be "referees" themselves. Instead, they should give their children a strength to maintain a good competitive state, which is the strength of cheerleading. This can help children build self-confidence, which is the core task of family education. Parents should be the "cheerleaders" of their children, not only be good at discovering and praising their children, but also guide them to face failure correctly and be their comrades-in-arms before setbacks.

3, improper "animal trainer", learn to be a "mirror"

Children can only overcome themselves by knowing themselves, but usually they can only know themselves according to other people's feedback. At this time, the "feedback" role of parents, that is, the role of mirrors, is very important. Don't be an "animal trainer", learn to be a "mirror" to help children.

(1). Cultivate a good parent-child relationship

Only by improving self-awareness can children communicate with their parents instead of being afraid of their "authority". A good relationship is better than many educations. When parents have a good relationship with their children, the education of their children is easy to succeed; When the relationship with children is not good, the education of children is easy to fail. The key to establishing a good parent-child relationship lies in "positioning".

Education is divided into three parts and seven parts. "Wait a minute" is very useful. For example, if we are bitten by mosquitoes, we will get well soon, but if we always scratch, it will take a long time to get well. The reason is that the human body has a certain self-healing function. Being bitten by mosquitoes will soon get better, and applying external force will only be counterproductive.

The same is true of education. Stop, wait, give the child a chance to speak, communicate effectively with the child, and solve the problem without education.

(2). Cultivate children's good habits

Habits determine the fate of children, and nothing is more important than habit formation. If parents don't pay attention to cultivate their children's good habits, they are undoubtedly ruining their children's bright future.

1, everything starts with habit formation.

Cultivating education is lifelong education. Intellectual education is a good habit of thinking, moral education is a small habit of behavior, and quality education is more reflected in people's small behaviors. A large number of facts have proved that habit is a tenacious force that can dominate a person's life. Everything about children begins with the cultivation of habits.

2. Habits are not built in a day.

Habit is a big problem and great wisdom. The formation of good habits is not a day's work. Its main principles are: low starting point, strict requirements, small steps, fast pace, more activities, change, quick feedback and diligent reform. The key to habit formation is decided in the first three days and one month. Parents should fully respect their children's rights and let them play the role of masters in habit formation.

3. Cultivate casting character through habit.

Education is like sailing on the sea, so we must follow the correct route, otherwise, the bigger the ship, the greater the danger of hitting the rocks and sinking. People's quality determines the development direction of people. One of the core tasks of family education is to train children to become real people. However, the cultivation of personality is usually difficult to implement in specific operations. However, the researchers found that habit and personality are complementary, habit affects personality, and personality affects habit more. Decent, honest, responsible, caring, cooperative spirit, efficiency and other qualities can be cast through habit cultivation.

Verb (abbreviation of verb) is the result of case guidance.

The child's character is not developed in a day or two, and she can't completely change in a short time. At present, her mood is much more stable, the expression of hatred on her face has disappeared, her smile has gradually increased, and her relationship with some classmates is not bad. I think this is the result of the joint efforts of the school and the family.

The conclusion and reflection of intransitive verbs

Through the case, I realize that the incorrect educational means in the family will inevitably make children "satisfied" with the feelings of love, insensitive to the feelings of love, and inhibit their love for the people around them, which will easily breed arrogance and egoism and aggravate the harm to children's hearts. The vicious circle of family education in Chen Xiao intensifies children's hatred towards schools, teachers and classmates. Because of the children's problems, this family has lost its former joy. From doting to beating and scolding, it is obvious to a child with immature mind and poor discrimination, which leads to the child's problems, so it is not surprising that he can only vent his inner dissatisfaction through inappropriate methods. Learning disabilities, antisocial behaviors and illegal and criminal behaviors of children and adolescents are closely related to family education atmosphere, parents' education methods and psychological environment. Any student's psychological deviation and even the final behavioral deviation may find some direct or indirect roots from family education and family interpersonal relationship. If this problem is not taken seriously and solved, it will not only have a negative impact on students' studies, but also seriously restrict the healthy development of students' personality. Therefore, every educator should take family education guidance for parents as a responsibility, so that school education and family education can be organically integrated to jointly shape a new generation with perfect personality.