As a mother, the most important thing is to take care of her children's lives and give them maternal love. In study and career, children listen to their fathers more. But not really. Generally speaking, mothers spend more time with their children, and children depend on their mothers. Therefore, a mother's words and deeds also have a very important influence on her children.
So how can we teach children well, help them establish a correct outlook on life and become masters of life? How should mothers communicate with their children?
In daily life, people often refer to "paternalistic education" or "feudal paternalistic education". In a similar way, "paternalism" is usually interpreted as one party forcing others to act according to their own thoughts and intentions, firmly believing that their views and judgments are correct and that they have unconditional control over the other party. Obviously, this "paternalistic" education is unreasonable and even intolerable.
The biggest feature of "feudal paternalistic education" is indoctrination. Don't give children room to think independently, tell them that this is wrong and that is wrong, and then cut it off. This kind of education is unwise. Only by guiding and encouraging children can we have more resonance with them.
Children are defenseless against their parents. They will tell their parents all their thoughts intact. If you always face your child with a negative tendency, your child will only become introverted and inferior. Only when parents listen carefully to their children's thoughts can they enter their children's world, grasp their every psychological fluctuation and make useful guidance. We should give our greatest support to the correct ideas and even ideals put forward by children, which is of great benefit to building children's self-confidence.
Good boy likes to brag. In fact, what children want most is the approval of their parents. If you often praise your children for their good things, they will be confident. Remember, don't say anything negative to children. A child will be devastated by the negative comments of the closest person.
Xiaoyang was taken to the hospital by her mother to see a psychologist. As soon as Xiaoyang's mother saw the doctor, she said sadly to the doctor, "I didn't have a good life when I gave birth to him." The hospital gave him oxygen at that time. " At that time, the hospital told me that children might have mental problems in the future. I didn't believe it then, but now it seems true. "The doctor asked," what's the performance? "
Xiaoyang's mother sighed and said, "My Yang Yang is eight years old this year, and everything is normal except that she can't read. I think it is congenital deficiency, because he usually works hard, but his grades are always behind other children. Every exam, he counts down. I think this may be the intellectual problem that the hospital said at that time. "
The doctor continued to ask, "Didn't you take him for a checkup before?" Xiao Yang's mother said, "Of course, I took him to several hospitals and did a lot of tests." But every hospital says it can't find the problem. I really don't know what to do. "
The doctor turned his head and asked Xiao Yang how he felt. Xiaoyang said without thinking, "I am more stupid than others." Others will listen to the teacher once, and I can't understand anything. I was blinded when I saw the test questions. "
Xiaoyang's "illness" doctor is well aware. He told xiaoyang's mother that xiaoyang had no mental problems. The real problem is xiaoyang's mother. She kept saying that Xiaoyang had mental problems, which ruined Xiaoyang's confidence for a long time. Xiaoyang felt that he had shortcomings in his body and could not improve his academic performance, so he naturally gave up his efforts.
After the doctor explained, Xiaoyang's mother knew that her method of educating her children was wrong, so she tried to change her mind and often praised Xiaoyang's efforts and seriousness. Slowly, Xiaoyang's academic performance has improved.
If the child has any shortcomings, you must point them out, but don't give the child a bad review as a whole. Speaking of children, you can say, "Our family is a little naughty at ordinary times, but we do our homework very seriously." Children usually take this statement more seriously, so that parents can continue this praise. But if you say, "In our family, we don't know anything about learning, but we usually play." After a long time, he will also feel that he is a naughty child.
Children are easily influenced by adults, especially mothers, who always agree. When a mother believes that she has the ability to do a good job, her actions will be more positive, her confidence will be higher, and she will do better. On the contrary, when they hear negative comments from their families, their behavior is easily affected.
As one of the closest people to the child, the mother's evaluation has a stereotyped effect on the child. Therefore, mothers should learn to praise and guide their children and evaluate your children with positive words, and your children will grow up involuntarily according to your evaluation.