In the past, parents didn't worry much about educating their children, but only focused on making money to support their families. If the child doesn't listen, go straight up and give him a fat beating. Dare to try to disobey.

Unlike now, parents have to enroll their children in various interest classes and training classes, and they have to help their children with homework at night. They usually eat and drink, and they can't fight or scold. It's like raising an ancestor.

So many parents think that their parents are really tired now.

To tell the truth, the reason why parents are so tired in educating their children now can be said to be completely self-inflicted. On the contrary, parents not only ask for trouble, but also bring disaster to their children.

There are two reasons. After listening, you will understand why I said this.

1, full

To put it bluntly, a large part of the reason why parents are tired now is that they are full.

When we say that parents are more tired now, it is only in educating children. If compared in all directions, the fatigue degree of parents now is far from that of their previous parents, which is almost one tenth of that of their previous parents.

In my early years, my family was a greenhouse. Father picks cucumbers before dawn every morning, and then rides a tricycle to buy them. At that time, tricycles were not electric, nor did they burn oil. They were completely pedaled by people. Think about it. It's getting dark. Father took a flashlight to illuminate and sent it to town in three rounds. That's not all. When I get home after the sale, I will go to the shed to draw the curtains at dawn. Mom and dad pulled the 100-meter greenhouse for about 2 hours, and then went to the greenhouse for a busy day.

This is still bitter when the days are better and poorer, so I won't say it.

Therefore, if we are more tired, our parents are far less tired now than before. Even if parents are more tired than before in educating their children, they are far less tired.

Then why are parents so tired of educating their children now? It has a lot to do with the reduction of parents' fatigue after productivity improvement.

In the past, parents had to stutter hard to support their families. How could they have time and energy to take care of their children? Try to fill your stomach first.

But now that productivity has improved, many families can support their families by their fathers alone, even more than enough. Use an inappropriate word to describe it, that is, "full of warmth and lust." It's similar to this word. After parents have enough to eat and wear, they can spare more time to educate their children, have higher expectations for their children, and naturally pay more for educating their children.

2, ability and thought do not match.

In layman's terms, I want to be both a bitch and an archway. Why do you say that?

Now parents' education level is definitely much higher than before, so they have a deeper understanding of education and accepted many western educational concepts.

Now most parents have realized that it is not good to respect their children and beat and scold them. To control their emotions, they should not beat and scold them. Although parents are aware of this and try their best to move closer to this aspect, fundamentally speaking, there is not much difference between contemporary parents and former parents, so when facing children, they still can't control their emotions and can't help beating and cursing.

This makes many parents very angry, because their beating and cursing behavior violates their educational philosophy and makes them feel that they are unqualified parents. On the one hand, they don't have good educational methods to deal with their children's problems, so they always want to get angry; On the other hand, I feel from the bottom of my heart that I shouldn't be angry, so I try to suppress my emotions. Faced with this situation, do you think parents can not feel tired? Does that mean you want to be a bitch and build a memorial arch?

Parents didn't have this kind of psychological pressure before. They don't think there is anything wrong with hitting children. They are handy at beating children, and even parents exchange their experiences in beating children.

Then tell me which parent will feel more tired.

When the reason is found, the method naturally appears. One is that parents mind their own business and worry less about their children, so naturally they are not tired. This is certainly impossible and unrealistic. How can parents ignore their children now? then what Only the second method can be adopted: parents improve their educational ability and make their educational level far exceed that of their previous parents.

When parents' ability has improved, although parents are now more concerned about their children's affairs and face more children's problems, such as from 50 to 100, if our ability has also improved from 50 to 100, the difficulty of the problem will not increase.

This is the only way to solve the problem that parents are tired of educating their children. There is no second way to go.

Some parents may have said that I also love to improve my ability to educate children. I bought a lot of books and listened to many expert lectures, but I felt useless.

Of course, it's useless, because strictly speaking, parents are just learning some educational skills, and they are not much different from their previous parents in terms of fundamental educational concepts. When the concept of basic education has not changed and parents expect to change their children through skills, parents will find that these skills do not match their own ideas, and it will be awkward to use them, and of course the effect will not be good. And not only the effect is not good, parents have used it several times, but they may not want to use it because it does not conform to their own educational philosophy.

So what kind of educational philosophy have parents always adopted since ancient times?

Let me give you a few examples, and everyone will understand:

Then why is this way of educating children so difficult that parents can't respect their children and control their emotions?

Very simple, because they are contradictory.

No one likes to be denied. Who likes to be told that he can't do anything well? No one, children are no exception, so parents' education methods are naturally resisted by children. Children resist and parents want to correct their children's problems, so parents can only take tough measures to force their children to change, so the educational methods of criticism, beating and scolding appear.

The negative educational concept determines that parents can't respect their children and can't effectively control their emotions, because criticism, beating and scolding are the strongest actions under this educational concept. If parents respect their children and control their emotions, then this educational concept is invalid, which is tantamount to abolishing martial arts.

Do you understand the fundamental problem that it is difficult for contemporary parents to educate their children? Parents can't relax without changing this educational concept.

Then some parents will say: How can you educate your children if you don't deny their problems?

Not denying children does not mean that we don't care about them. In fact, we can adopt a more active concept of "positive parenting" to educate children.

Take children's homework as an example.

Parents used to use the concept of "negative education". When they see children practicing hard, they will criticize and educate them, accuse them of practicing hard, and ask them to be positive and stop practicing hard. Of course, I don't need to say what this effect is.

You see, in the face of the problem of procrastination, our "positive parenting" has solved the problem although it has not required correction.