The new semester has begun. As the "first responsible person" of a child, I hope every parent can deeply realize that the greatest cruelty to a child is to let him be free in his studies.
? The following three bowls of "poisoned chicken soup" about education, do parents often see it in the circle of friends?
The first bowl of chicken soup: happy education;
The second bowl of chicken soup: fully release nature;
The third bowl of chicken soup: education is useless.
? Under this influence, a large number of parents joined the camp of happy education, claiming to release their children's nature and let them grow up freely: "Achievement is almost enough, and giving children a happy childhood is more important than anything else." "The child is still young, and I don't want to let the child carry heavy shackles." However, is this kind of education that pursues freedom and happiness really suitable for the present exam-oriented environment?
? When these children grow up, will they really not feel competitive pressure compared with their peers who have been running around in various makeup classes since childhood?
? Japan, which faces us across the sea, has stepped on the pit of "happy education". Since 2002, the government has introduced various policies to reduce the burden: reducing the difficulty of schoolwork, reducing the burden on students, not ranking students, and reducing learning content. .....
? But what happened? It is simply vulnerable to talk about cultivating innovative talents, but ignore children who lack basic knowledge accumulation. Those families who have the ability can still improve their children's competitiveness by attending private schools and making up lessons, and finally enter famous universities. Most children spend a lot of time on games and the internet; Become a generation of losers who do nothing but talk every day.
Finally, unable to bear the consequences of the complete failure of reform, Japan implemented "relaxing education" in 20 16 and developed towards "strengthening education". Therefore, don't think that foreign education is easy, and children all over the world are trying to run.
In the United States, only 26% of students can enter private schools and become elites, so children in ordinary families must pay 100% efforts; In Israel, children know from kindergarten that they need to work hard for the future.
Facts have proved that if children want to stand out in the fierce competition in the future, they must study and suffer hardships, which is the same all over the world.
There is a good saying on the Internet: Happy education is to build a child's starting point on a pile of beaches, and a strong wind and a big wave are enough to destroy all his "achievements". This short-sighted scam not only blinded the parents' eyes, but also ruined the children's life.
Not long ago, "Sister Lang" Zheng Xiyi talked about her concept of parenting in a variety show, which caused controversy: she said that her daughter is now 5 years old, and the school she enrolled in only needs to learn to grow vegetables, and the child doesn't have to write until she is 7 years old. She also confidently believes that as long as the children are happy, they can bear that kind of pressure.
This "laissez-faire" parenting style attracted Tian Liang to reply on the spot:
"Can you bear the pressure, can your child bear it? The child tells you that I am very unhappy. Why can others do it and I can't? What should I do? " Yes, this kind of education may be suitable for stars, but it is not suitable for most children.
? For our ordinary family, reading is the best way out of life and the only way to change our destiny.
Maybe some parents will say: My child, I just want him to live a stable and ordinary life. But even if you can accept the child's ordinary, can your child accept himself falling into the dust, and will his life really be happy?
A person's happiness index is often determined by these two indicators-dignity and freedom.
When your children grow up, they are repeatedly rejected because of lack of education; When he was running around the factory site, he was forced to do the hardest and most tiring work after the wind and the sun; How can he talk about happiness when his dignity and freedom are ruthlessly torn to pieces by reality?
I once saw a blogger's experience in Zhihu: his parents loved him since he was a child. He didn't like studying and ran around. His family asked him to come, as long as he was happy. Later, I went out to work with a group of friends without graduating from high school, but I changed jobs countless times because of my skills. For example, he is still unemployed for half a year.
Finally, he sighed: "If I had insisted on studying, if my parents could have forced me, maybe I wouldn't have to run so many miles today and my family could have a better life ..."
Yes, the child is happy before 18 years old, but in his long life from 18 to 80 years old, he will definitely pay a painful price for his happiness and indulgence. Children who lack a skill are destined to be in the cheapest, humblest and most easily replaced position in the future. This is an indisputable fact and the most cruel fact.
Therefore, parents must understand that every day a child wastes is a slide to a mediocre life, and the happiness and freedom you give him today is the root of his pain and humility tomorrow.
A few days ago, I searched for a news that "there are loopholes in the game anti-addiction", which caused a lot of controversy.
Among them, many parents accused some games of loopholes in the anti-addiction system, allowing children to exploit loopholes and indulge in games.
Some netizens in the comment area hit the nail on the head:
There are many parents around. When children are young, they let themselves go because of their laziness and slackness. When the child grows up and wants to discipline him and urge him to form good habits, he finds it difficult to go any further. Especially in learning, family farce is often staged without saying a word.
There is a saying in Tsinghua Xueba Jiaozi Sutra: "Parents should understand that it is normal for children to lack self-control when they are young, and it is not normal to take the initiative in difficult things such as learning."
Because knowledge accumulation is a boring, repetitive and even a bit painful process, it is difficult for ordinary people to stick to it. For children with mental retardation, it is normal to have fear of difficulties and want to give up. As parents, we must "force" our children in time and give them proper control.
? On the way to study, we must not let go of our freedom and expect our children to be "conscious". Behind every excellent self-disciplined child, there is a "tiger father and wolf mother". Just like the mother of Yang Chenyu, the double champion of Guangxi, she paid attention to cultivating children's self-discipline in learning from an early age, and also guided him to read and watch popular science documentaries, having her own hobbies.
When talking about the experience of raising children, she pointed out: "In the case that children have no independent thinking ability, we must supervise the formation of habits. The process of supervision is very painful. You should always supervise him and pay attention to him. But after the finalization, the road behind will be easy. " Every self-disciplined child needs long-term companionship, strict supervision and correct discipline from his parents. Parents must cultivate their children's good habit of self-discipline when they are still young, so as to lay a good foundation for their future life.
We can't protect our children for life. If we don't force them to learn "72 changes" now, who will resist "8 1 difficulties" for them in the future?
Recently, the Tucao Conference ushered in the fifth season. As the planner who created this phenomenal variety show with one hand, Li Dan, whose career and fame were both fruitful, once said with emotion in an interview: "The biggest regret in my life at present is that I have not been admitted to a prestigious school."
He admitted that he was the first in the school when he graduated from junior high school. But later, influenced by the outside world, he played wildly in high school for several years, which led to a decline in his grades. He missed a good school in the college entrance examination and many development opportunities at first.
You know, the learning process is like a long marathon. Every minute is precious. A little slack, you will be left behind. No matter how hard you try, it won't help.
After the start of school, many parents expressed their relief: I can finally get rid of the torture of "God beast" and don't have to worry about him every day. But after school starts, are parents really at ease?
You know, the school only plays the role of imparting knowledge, and parents are the class teachers whose children will never retire, and they are the real life mentors of their children. Therefore, at any time, parents can't ignore their children's learning.
A child has many choices to make in his life, but often the most critical years are enough to define his life. Some children insist on biting their teeth, and finally wait until spring blossoms, and the road ahead is free to choose; Some children give up halfway, and then they are forced to make a living and spend their lives in regret and regret. The key figures for children to persist are actually parents.
Therefore, parents must accompany their children when they grow up and study, and wake him up in time when he is lazy and confused: the bitterness you eat now and the sweat you shed are actually contributing to your future life; When he feels that learning is very hard and tiring and wants to give up, encourage him: learning is destined to be a long and arduous road, and there is no shortcut. Everyone is the same. Get through it, and you win.
The key to the success or failure of a child's life is often in a few years. If you lose it, you will never come back. Don't let your temporary relaxation become a lifelong regret for your child.
There is such a motto on the wall of Harvard Library: "Learning is not the whole of life. However, since even a part of life-learning can't be conquered, what can I do? "
? Learning is the fairest and most worthwhile investment in the world. As long as you pay enough attention to it, you will get a lot of rewards.
As a guide in children's life, you must let them know that no one's youth has crossed the red carpet, and your suffering, loss, sin and pain will eventually become a beam of light, illuminating your way forward.
The horn of the new semester has sounded, as the writer Liu Na said: "The sword decoration is just right, and the school is also a river and lake; The wine is still warm, and there is no retreat in life. "
This battle without smoke, please every parent and child must go all out, please share with your fingers when you are free to wake up more parents and children.